Practice Makes Perfect.

“Patrick, can we please think about this?” I asked him
“Why? Do you not want to live with me?” He asked me.
“Of course I do but you know how I am.” I said.
“I know but I think we both need this.” He said.
I sighed and looked at him. “How about you meet my mother first? After that, I'll move in.” I said. Patrick agreed to my deal. I stayed over for a while then left because I figured Patrick needed the sleep. It was late at night and I didn't want to go home. I didn't know what I wanted. I drove around for a while until I found myself outside of Jon's apartment building. I debated with myself for ten minutes on whether or not to go inside. He was probably asleep. I sat in my car and finally decided I would text him. He wouldn't reply because he was asleep and I could go on my way.
“Are you awake?” I texted him quickly so I wouldn't change my mind. I sat there and looked at the empty street and one minute later he replied.
“Yes. Why?” He asked me.
“I'll be at your door in less than three minutes.” I texted. I got out of my car and into the building. I decided to walk up the massive flight of stairs to his apartment. Ten minutes later I wound up in front of his door.
“You said less than three minutes.” He said opening the door and letting me in.
“I decided to walk.” I said. I stood there in his living room as he sat down. He was in sweatpants and a white t-shirt while I was still dressed in jeans and a hoodie. He just sat there looking at me and I stood there looking at him.
“What are you doing here, Blaine?” He asked me quietly. I went and sat down on the coffee table and looked right at him.
“Patrick asked me to move in with him tonight.” I said.
Jon just rubbed his face and sighed. “I assume you said yes?” He asked me.
“No. I said we should wait. I wanted to say no but I couldn't say that to him.” I said.
“You know, he cheated on you during the road trip.” He said quietly. “I'm so sorry.” He said.
I just sighed. “I just don't think I care. I think I've come to realize that I'm with him because I'm afraid of being alone. He gave me attention at first and we both enjoyed it. I don't doubt that he loved me but he wasn't in love with me.” I said quietly.
“Are you saying this because of me?” He asked me.
“I don't know. Our fight opened my eyes. Patrick was with me because he felt comfortable but I know that's not who he is. Who am I to change someone?” I said.
“Do you want to break up with him?” He asked me.
“I think it needs to be this mutual thing. I know we're both thinking the same thing. We love this idea of what we could be and we're not. His head is in another place and so is mine. He wants to be single but he likes this idea of coming home to someone. I could never just leave him. He would have to do some major thing.” I said.
“Like cheating.” Jon said.
“It's not even cheating anymore. We're too blind to see it.” I said.
“Where is your head?” He asked me.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You said your head was in another place. Where is it?” He asked me again.
I looked at Jon and then kissed him. It was everything I wanted.
“It's with you.” I said.
“Mine has always been with you.” Jon whispered in my ear.