Love's Illusions

“When is he just gonna give up already?!”

“Bill, it's been over two years. I think you should just sleep with him and get it over with.”

“No way in hell am I EVER gonna sleep with that-that thing!”

“Why not exactly? He's gorgeous, he's got experience, he's filthy rich, and he's totally into you. I don't get why you don't snatch him up while you're ahead.”

“Because my dear friend. I have something that no one else at school does.”

“And what's that?”

“Self-control. Plus...I don't see sex as a pleasurable game. Tom thinks of sex as a way to please himself. It's something he knows he's good at and knows he can get whenever he wants. But I see sex as a way to express your love to someone. It's like marriage. A bond that two people share, that no one else can feel at that moment. I don't like the idea of giving away my innocence to some slut.” Bill explained as if it were obvious.

“Innocence? Oh please! You are far from innocent my friend. Exactly how many dicks have been in that mouth?” Andreas replied.

“Just the right amount thank-you-very-much. Oral is completely different.”

“Whatever Bill. But look back on all Tom's attempts to get you to notice him. He's spent millions of dollars and weeks to try to make you happy, and yet every time you reject him.”

“I can't be bought with flowers and candies Andi.” he sighed, hugging the fuzzy green pillow to his chest.

“Bill come on! He imported forty-three pounds of Belgium chocolates for you last month!”

“I hate chocolate.”

“Not the point. Bill, it's the thought that counts. I know he drives you crazy, but I think you should give him a chance. It's our senior year, and you need a boyfriend. I don't want to keep finding you in the mall's bathroom blowing some thirty year old.”

Bill could only grin at the memory of his last victim over the previous weekend.

“Anyway, you get my point. If not Tom then what about the other dozens of gay guys at our school? Go out with one of them.”

Bill wriggled his nose as he stared at the cherry Popsicle in his hand. Maybe he did need a boyfriend. Maybe he should try out another relationship. He'd been in a few but none of them were special. Perhaps fate was telling him to go for it.

“Alright Andi. I'll get a boyfriend, but only if you ask out Chris this Saturday.” he grinned.

Andreas' face immediately flushed as his eyes went wide. He'd had a huge crush on Chris Henderson since middle school, but he'd always been too chicken to ask him out.

“B-But I can't!” Andreas wined.

“Then I won't ask out anyone either. And the next time I spend the night I'll bring a guy over and blow him on your bed.” he threatened with a conniving smirk. To add effect, he slowly licked the side of the Popsicle very sexually with a wink.

“FINE! I'LL ASK!”

- - - - - - - - - -

“I can't do this.”

“You promised Andi.”

“I did no such thing!”

“Fine. Then I'll ask him for you.”

“NO!”

But Bill ignored his friend, and made his way over to Chris. Andreas just stood there frozen by the lockers hyperventilating.

“Hey Chris!” Bill said with a warm smile.

“Uh hey Bill. What's up?”

“I have a proposition for you.”

“Shoot.”

“I know a certain bleach blonde who's been dying to go out with you for some time. I'm planning a double date this Saturday so he wouldn't be so nervous. Care to partake?”

“Is it Andreas?”

“Are there any other bleach blondes around?”

“Then yes. I'd love to.”

“Great! We'll meet up at the movie theater at seven okay?”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

As Bill made his way back, Andreas already had a frantic look on his face.

“He said no didn't he?!”

“He said yes numb nuts. Congrats! You have a date!”

His entire face lit up just before he hugged Bill as hard as humanly possible.
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! You are the bestest best friend ever! I love you so much! Thank-you for not listening to me!”

“No problem buddy. Not listening is what I do best.” Bill smiled as his giddy blonde.

“Now for the easy part. Finding you a date.” Andreas said, returning back to normal- well...his normal.

“You choose. Anyone but the STD factory.”

He rolled his eyes as he scouted the halls for Bill's lucky man. It didn't take long to spot him.
“Hey. How about him?”

Bill cocked his head to the side to evaluate the boy. Black hair, blue eyes, maybe a couple inches shorter than himself. Nice smile. Snake bites. Bill had to admit he was pretty cute.

“Well...okay. What's his name?” Bill questioned, putting his hand on his slender hip.

“Robbie Bennett I believe. He's on the soccer team, and he's in our English and Math class.” he said.

“Cool. Be back in a sec.”

Bill never had a problem asking people out. If he liked what he saw and they weren't total asses, he could ask them in a heartbeat. He'd just put on his perfect smile and pretended to be innocent.

“Bill Trumper? Well hello gorgeous.” Robbie grinned as Bill approached him.

“Great. He's cocky.” Bill thought, but kept on a flirty smile.

“Hello yourself.” he said in a very seductive tone. Normally his voice and smile was all it took.

“This is a bit forward, but you wanna go out sometime?” Robbie asked before Bill could go on.

“Saturday at seven. Movie Theater.” Bill smirked, getting only inches away from his face. “Don't be late.”

“Wouldn't dream of it.” Their lips were so close Bill could smell the peppermint in Robbie's breath. Just as Robbie leaned in to catch those luscious lips, Bill backed up, a smirk playing on his face.

“Ah. So you are a tease.” Robbie sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“Love it or hate it. See you Saturday.”

As Bill walked away, Robbie's eyes stayed locked on his ass. Poor thing was trapped in the gray skinny jeans and no way of getting out. His hand went down the slight bulge appearing in his own denim jeans, as he slightly adjusted himself, not caring who saw. Boy was he excited for Saturday.

- - - - - - - - - -

Bill swung his legs childishly while he sat on the desk in Andreas' room. He lovingly licked his blue raspberry lollipop as he had the pleasure of enjoying watching his friend spaz out. For the last hour Andreas had been freaking out over what he was gonna wear on his date that weekend.

“Which would look better with the light jeans? The Green Day shirt or the “My way or the end of the world comes” shirt? Or should I wear the black jeans and the blue shirt? Oh my God should I wear my converse or no? Ugh, and what do I do with my rat nest called hair?!” he cried as he ran back and forth about the room.

“Wear the gray, blue, and white T-shirt with the black skinny jeans, black converse and the red tie.” Bill instructed.

“...OMG that's perfect Bill! Ugh, I love that you're my best friend!”

“You shouldn't be so nervous. It's just a date.” Bill laughed.

“No it's THE date. I've wanted a date with Chris for years and now I'm finally getting that opportunity! You wouldn't believe how excited I am about this Bill! Oh my God. What if he tries to hold my hand?!”

“...then you let him hold your hand. Andi you're stressing too much. If he wants you to do something, just watch for the signals.”

“Signals? What signals?” he asked.

“Alright boy, you need dating lessons. First rule of hand holding, keep your hands open. Don't clench them into fists or stuff them in your pockets or else they'll get all clammy. Now, when you're walking, a signal that he wants to hold your hand would be walking a bit close to you. Enough to the point that you shoulders brush against each others, and your hands bump a few times. So take that opportunity to slowly, but sweetly, slip your hand into his.” Bill explained.

“Okay. I think I get it. What other signals are there?” Andreas nodded. Truthfully, he needed all the help he could get.

“When it comes to putting your arm around him, be careful. Don't make it look too obvious, but at the same time don't surprise him. Like when we're in the movie theater, DON'T do the lame yawn technique. Simply give him a few side glances, sort of as a warning, and then slightly raise your arm, and wrap it around his shoulders. If he likes you, he'll give you a crooked smile and shift in his seat a bit. But, if he REALLY likes you, he'll give a nice smile, lean against your chest, and sigh contently.”

“...how do you know this? You're always the girl in the relationship!”

“Maybe so, but that just means I know what's going through his mind.” Bill smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Okay okay you got me there. Anything else?”

“Yeah. Don't forget. Underwear go on BEFORE the pants.”

“Shut the fuck up! It was one time!” Andreas screeched, chucking a pillow at Bill. He always loved to tease him about the time he had his underwear on the outside, instead of on the inside of his pants the last time he went on a date. Poor guy would never live it down.