She Was The Challenge He'd Been Waiting For.

Isabella wasn’t sure how she felt. Just because of the act that she and Alex had engaged in, and she felt so much different than ever before. She couldn’t understand the feeling she felt. It was almost like she’d lost something… or gained something.

She’d decided that she wanted to have a little time to process everything. Alex didn’t understand that what had happened had shaken her so. He didn’t seem to care that she was so much different than anyone else.

All she wanted was to lay in bed, cuddle up to her Minnie Mouse pillow and stuffed animal, and watch Casablanca.

Why were things so much easier decades before? She had a feeling that Alex was no Prince Charming, but he’d done it out of love, right? He cared about her… wanted to cause her pleasure. So why did she feel so guilty?

She’d been led to believe that sex was a dirty thing… that it was only to be done between a married man and his wife. She had figured that she would save herself until marriage, but now the thoughts swimming around her head betrayed that notion. Alex had made her feel bliss… complete delight that she’d never even thought she could feel.

So why was she avoiding him? Ignoring his calls? She couldn’t totally figure it out.

She sighed, unable to focus on the movie playing on the TV, sitting up in bed, shaking her head and holding Minnie to her chest.

She couldn’t understand the emotions running through her. The guilt she felt for betraying her own ideals. Or should she be okay with it? Why wasn’t she okay with it?

Alex wouldn’t have done it if she’d specifically told him “no.” He’d done it to make her feel good, and she had. So why did she feel so disappointed about it? He’d made her feel amazing and she’d appreciated the feeling. But she was beside herself with the feelings that she was still unsettled about.

“Isabella?” Her mother called, peeking her head into the girl’s bedroom.

“Yes, mom?” She put her Minnie aside, looking over at the doorway where her mother stood.

“Alex is here. Should I send him up?”

Isabella wasn’t sure how to answer. After last time, she wasn’t sure she was ready to be alone with him in her bedroom. But her mother didn’t know that. It wasn’t something she wanted her mother to have any sort of idea of.

“No, I-I’ll meet him in the living room.”

“Okay.”

Isabella sighed as her mother shut the door before she stood up from her bed.

This wasn’t what she expected from him. He was supposed to give her time as she’d requested. He wasn’t supposed to show up a couple days later as if everything was totally okay. She toyed with the necklace around her neck as she made her way downstairs.

Alex looked really good, as usual. He had a smile on his face like he didn’t realize that she’d been upset over what happened. He wore a sweatshirt with a red shirt peeking out underneath and the tight jeans Isabella had decided she liked. He smiled a bit wider, seeing her, but not moving.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought we could go for some ice cream.”

Isabella smiled softly, nodding a bit.

“Mrs. Randall, its okay if I take Bella out for a bit?”

She nodded. “Have fun.”

Isabella stared at Alex.

“Honey, remember to grab your jacket.” Mrs. Randall called out.

The girl flushed slightly red.

She hated that her Asperger’s made it impossible to remember to do simple things like remember to put a jacket on or run a brush through her hair. How her mother always had to remind her to do simple things that any person shouldn’t need to be reminded to do. She wasn’t stupid, she just didn’t think of things like that.

Isabella was silent as Alex backed out of her driveway.

She kept her gaze firmly on the window, not even bothering to look at him. He didn’t understand what was wrong, and she didn’t know what he could do to make her feel better. Alex didn’t really like silence and he didn’t know what had happened.

“Bells?”

This caused her gaze to turn to him. She didn’t look upset or angry, which was, at least, something. But her silence spoke volumes that she didn’t feel the need to express in actual words.

“Isabella, is something wrong?”

She sighed. “I-its nothing, Alex.”

“No, Bella. Tell me what’s wrong.”

The blonde didn’t say anything; mostly because she didn’t know what to say.

Alex would think she was being stupid about this. Kara, as well as all of his friends had said that Alex was very sexually active. But Isabella wasn’t like that. She wasn’t sure she could be ready to engage in that sort of thing anytime soon. What they’d done was nice, but it was weird, and uncomfortable.

She didn’t know how she totally felt about it or about Alex. He made her nervous and unsure of so much. It just confused her that she couldn’t figure out what to say to him or how to explain the way she was feeling.

Alex didn’t like the seemingly emotionless side of Isabella. She wasn’t talking to him and was barely looking at him. He just wanted to know what was going on with her. Why she seemed so sad, and lost. The way she didn’t seem to care, and seemed aloof. She was distant and sad in a way that he couldn’t figure out. Girls never froze up like this.

“Izy?” He glanced over at her.

She didn’t meet his eyes, just began to play with the zipper on her jacket.

“You don’t feel like talking?”

The girl shook her head.

“Okay. Maybe once we get some ice cream in you.”

The girl didn’t know what to say just looked at her fingernails.

Her mother had offered that the next day, they go out, and make a day of it. They could go to the beauty parlor, get some lunch, and maybe do some shopping. Isabella’s hair was getting long, so a trim was necessary. But Mrs. Randall insisted they get their nails done as a part of the beauty regimen.

Usually Isabella chose outrageous colors. Bright ones, like yellow and blue that were happy and fun. She’d never go for something like her mother would. Her mother went for mid to dark pink tones. Girly ones that reminded Isabella of bubble gum or Barbie.

But right now, Isabella was pretty sure this time she didn’t want something quite as bright or happy. She wasn’t sure what color she wanted, just something darker… less fun.

“Alex,” Isabella finally spoke, deciding that she’d been silent long enough.

“You’re ready to talk?”

She sighed, placing her ice cream aside.

Alex smiled, placing his own aside as well to look at her.

Isabella knew she couldn’t avoid delaying the conversation anymore. She just wished that there were a way to make this less awkward. All she wanted to do was get beyond this so that they could go on with their relationship.

“Are you mad?”

“No…. I don’t know.”

“Well, tell me what it is, Izy. I can’t do anything until you tell me.”

She felt so silly, not being able to tell him. It was so silly, even Kara would have laughed at it. But it was something that was really bothering her. It wasn’t anything she’d even considered talking about.

“Is this about… the other night?” He began softly.

Isabella sighed, nodding.

Alex smiled softly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Baby, didn’t you enjoy it?”

She didn’t know how to answer.

The truth was that he’d made her feel amazing, but it was wrong. Wasn’t it? Well, how did something so wrong feel so amazing? She hadn’t quite figured out what to say or how she felt. She did care about him a lot, but was that the way they were supposed to express it?

“I did, Alex, but-“

“Bells, if you’re embarrassed about it, that’s okay.” He sighed. “It wasn’t wrong.”

Isabella bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

Alex just waited for her to say something. He didn’t understand. He realized that Bella wasn’t like other girls, but he didn’t seem to understand just what he’d done to her. What she was so confused and shaken up about. All he knew was that he’d embarrassed her without attempting to. She hadn’t known what to expect and what she’d experienced… and it had really felt nice, but she didn’t know if she could be okay with it.

“Isabella, we’re dating, you don’t need to be embarrassed with me.” He cooed gently. “This is what couples do.”

She smiled softly. “Okay, Alex.”

He was probably right. Alex knew a lot more about people and interactions than she did. Sex was something that everyone was doing apparently. He’d done what he did to please her; it hadn’t been something gross. Shouldn’t she be thanking him for what he did? Offering to return the favor? This was so silly.

But it mattered to her in a way she couldn’t explain. She figured Kara could help her figure out what was going on. There was no way she’d be able to tell her mother. She was embarrassed that she couldn’t handle this.

Alex was trying to be a nice boyfriend and doing something for her. How was she only able to see it as such a lewd act? He had done something that while she assumed would be disgusting, he’d seemed to enjoy doing it as she’d enjoyed receiving it.

“So we’re okay?”

She nodded.

“Come on, I’ll take you home and we can watch the Little Mermaid.”

Her smile widened. “Okay.”