Eventually, Something Has to Give

“So you know what’s up with Dad?” Tanner asked right away when mum had come though the front door.

She didn’t get a greeting out before Tanner had asked. She looked over at us bitting her lip before glancing down at the floor. It has been three days where we tried to talk to dad and find out what was going on; but he pushed us away and said short answers that ended the conversation. His voice around us was dull and lifeless. Most of all he acted like I wasn’t in the room when Tanner was trying to talk to him.

Dad would show me a small smile but that was about it. It was just like he never cares anymore. I don’t even think he talks to mum anymore either. It’s just weird and the last thing I wanted to worry about. Sure dad has been drifting away from us over the last half a year, but enough to not care anymore? Why the change of heart?

“I don’t know what is up with that man.” Mum grumbled almost angrily. “He won’t talk to me anymore. He works and if he comes home he sleeps.”
“He won’t talk to us either, he barely notices Lara even if she is right in front of him.”

Mum gasped looking towards me as if asking if that was true. I nodded looking down. It hurt too because me and dad used to be somewhat close before everything became so messed up. I could even feel out lines of trust shaking like if they were going to break. It was like I – we didn’t know him anymore and he was just a ghost in our lives.

I already had enough ghosts run though my life over the last few years; normally those people hang around, then leave not making much of a mark on you and are able to be forgotten. Sadly about three quarters on my ‘ghosts’ are not forgettable and still act like they hunt me even though they have no idea about it. They stabbed me walking past and they wounds won’t heal quickly.

“I’ll see if I can sort this out, who knows it may just be his work running him down.” She sighed. “Or he has lost it.” She mumbled quietly as she headed into the kitchen.

I pinched the bridge of my nose taking a deep breath. I felt Tan place his hand on my shoulder.

“This is the last thing I need to be worrying about now.” I said walking out of the room leaving Tan behind confused.

First the guy at the mall, the dreams, Garrett and the others. Now this. I don’t know what to think.

+.+.+

“Larissa! Your friend is here to see you!” Jared called from the other side of my bedroom door.

Saying nothing I rolled over onto my side glaring across the room at the poor defenceless wall. I wasn’t in the mood to talking to anyone, let alone get out of bed. Last night I had another dream, one of the bad ones, meaning I had almost no sleep.

The dreams have become less frequent but when I do get them now they are normally worse. I’m unsure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

I jumped at the sound of Jared’s fist hitting the door knocking loudly.

“Larissa!” He called. “Are you ok?”
“No!” I hissed.

No, today I wasn’t ok. Grunting I shut my eyes pulling the blanket around me tighter. I grumbled under my breath when I hear the door open. I know Jared wants to help me, but I’m not in a good mood today and I didn’t want to be mean to him. That was once difference with Jared and Tanner; Tanner leaves me along when I’m like this - Jared always sees what is wrong first, no matter if I snapped at him or not.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly sitting down on the edge of my bed.

I sighed, might as well tell him. If I don’t he won’t go away until I will.

“I had another dream last night, a bad one.”
“Shit...” He mumbled. “Come here, give me a hug.”

I rolled my eyes but did as he asked anyway. I sat up and let him pull me into his lap giving me a hug bear hug that made me feel like I couldn’t breathe when I actually could. Squeezing him back I rested my head on his shoulder only to freeze solid when I saw someone standing at my door way. Oh. Shit.

“What’s-oh.” Jared mumbled. “I did say Garrett was here...” He whispered.
“You could have told me in was in the room before I told you what was wrong!” I half exclaimed pulling away from him.
“Sorry, I knew I should have, but I didn’t. Sorry!”

I sighed tiredly not having the energy for this and rested my face in his chest. Great if he heard that I have dreams – bad ones – then what else will he find out? He might hate me if he found out the whole story. I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it. But I didn’t.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise Lara.” Garrett said from the doorway with too many emotions in his voice to pick out one.
“You can trust him on that.” Jared whispered in my ear. “His bass will be up his ass if he doesn’t.”

I couldn’t help but choke out a small laugh then. I can trust Jared with that one. Slowly I nod my head. If he trusts that, so can I right? Or else they would both have guitars where they really shouldn’t go.

“Good girl.” He said kissing my cheek. “Now go hug Garry!”
“What?” We both asked surprised.
“Hug each other, because I said so, now do it!”

Grunting I got off his lap and stood besides my bed. If Garrett wanted a hug he has to come get one. He shrugged and walked over to me lightly wrapping his arms around my waist. Smiling lightly I did the same looking over his shoulder at my cousin who was grinning ear to ear with eyes sparkling with happiness.

Garrett pulled away and as he did, he kissed my cheek so lightly I almost didn’t notice. I flushed looking down to hid my redden cheeks and shocked expression.

“See now it’s all good.” Jared said happily. “Now don’t you feel better now Lara?”
“I guess.” I mumbled shrugging, I wasn’t really but I won’t tell him that.
“You do, now we can go to mum’s cafe!” He yelled running out of my room.

I glanced at Garrett who was looking at where Jared ran off with a confused look.

“What did you give him?”
“Nothing! He was like that when he come over to my place this morning and dragged me out of bed by my ankle.”
“By you ankle?” I laughed.

He smiled nodding.

“Yeah, I think someone gave him too much coffee this morning or something.” He mused walking out of my room with me following slowly. “You can trust me not to say anything you know. I won’t even ask what they are about unless you want to tell me.”

I took a deep breath.

“I know and no I don’t yet.” I sighed. “I just-“
“No, it’s alright I understand. It’s none of my business.” He cut in. “But if you do ever want to talk to someone other than your ‘brothers’ I’m here.”
“Thanks.” I said blushing again. “You still confuse me though.” I half joked.
“Awesome!” He laughed.

I smiled and let that warm feeling in my heart push away the lingering parts of my dream away, because I was too tried to care anymore about it or the fact Garrett knows right now.

+.+.+

Yawning I buried my head into Jared’s back as he walked besides Garrett on the footpath. Jared practically made me and Garrett run there only to be there long enough to get a drink and shove a muffin down our throats. I really think my cousin forgot it was Saturday and the cafe closed at two o’clock.

He made up for it by giving me a piggy back ride all the way back home I guess. I didn’t really have the energy to walk up the small hill. Tonight I am going to bed early for sure, just hope I can stay asleep this time with no dreams. I just want a dark deep dreamless sleep, is that too much to ask for? It almost feels like it, when it shouldn’t.

Bitting back another yawn I moved my head so the side, still resting on Jared’s back as I looked at my new friend (it was still hard to think that let alone say) that was holding my hand. He looked off with the fairies to be honest, one glance at him and I knew he wasn’t listening to Jared’s rambling. No, he was thinking hard about something, that much he looked worried about whatever it was.

It almost made me curious, but “curiosity killed the cat” so I won’t even bother asking. If he wanted to talk about it he would. Why am I even bothering to think about this? Gosh, I must be more tired than what I thought. I sighed and continued to stare at him letting my mind go blank for the most part.

After about five minutes the worried look disappeared as he turned his head to look at me, once his eyes locked with mine a friendly caring smile spread across his lips and his eyes shinned happily. I’ve started to wonder why his eyes shinned so happily when he saw me or when we were together. It was like I lit up his while world or something, which I don’t see why, I’m nothing special. Slowly that smile softened.

“You look exhausted.” He murmured letting go of my hand to gaze his fingers across my cheek under my eye.

I closed my eyes for a moment but opened them almost just as quick. I nodded as if say that I was. He frowned a little and took my hand again. I let my eyes fall towards the entwined limbs. For a brief second I wondered what Jared would think about this because I know he would have been paying attention, knowing him he would probably be smiling that much that anyone would think he was the happiest person alive.

After around another five minutes I noticed Pat’s house across the road so I lifted my head up from Jared’s back to see mine. I frowned almost didn’t want to go home even though I was like in a zombie mode at the moment. Almost pouting and with Jared’s help I slid off his back landing on my feet.

“Thanks for the ride home.” I joked weekly.
“You’re welcome cuz; I hope it wasn’t too bumpy.” He chuckled.

I laughed lightly and smiled when Jared gave me a quick hug.

“Now get some sleep and no more angry moods ok?”
“Sleeping is the first thing on my mind...and well I have to angry if you steel my muffin again don’t I?”

He smiled innocently and stepped back. I glanced over at Garrett and he looked at me as if asking if he could hug me too. I shrugged making him smile. His arms wrapped gently around my waist like this morning and I did the same as well.

We held each other for a moment then he pulled away his eyes glowing happily again. I wonder if my eyes show happiness like that anymore...

“We’re going over to Pat’s so we might stop by later.” Jared said looking for cars to cross the road. “If I do I’ll call first to see if your awake or not.”
“Okey, bye guys.” I said giving a short wave.

They both smiled then waved before walking across the street. Sighing I turned to my house and entered finding it quiet apart from the low bass and drum beats from Tanner’s room. I walked slowly past the kitchen and stopped when I noticed from the corner of my eye, mum sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands.

“Are you alright?” I said so quietly it just floated around the room like a whisper.

She lifted her head up and smiled softly towards me.

“I’m fine, just a stressful day at work.” She shrugged though it sounded more than that.

Slowly I nodded and headed up to my room crawling into my bed not even bothering to get under the blankets.

I’m beat tired and in a zombie mode, but I know lies mum and that was one.