Eventually, Something Has to Give

The oddest feeling of something feathery against my skin was the last thing I expected to wake me up from my calm dreamless sleep. I could feel it run over my neck, along my jaw and to my cheek. As nice as it felt - I found it annoying because it had woke me up. Anyone would have found it annoying from that fact.

I grunted annoyed yet sleepily and tried to swat whatever it was away. Just as I rested my hand down again it came back. I grumbled and rolled over facing the other way. When I felt nothing run over my skin, I sighed lightly and started letting myself drift back to sleep.

Only for it to come back running down my face a minute later.

I whined – very much like Tanner- and squirmed a little before trying to half swat, half grab whatever it was to break it in half. When a loud burst of laughter filled my ears I froze for a long moment. I felt the mattress and the blankets that covered me move as the person moved.

I fluttered my eyes open, wincing from the bright sunlight but sat up anyway to look at said person, blinking quickly to get some sort of vision. I frowned when I saw Garrett lying on the mattress, his hair a mess and legs tangles in the blankets as he held his stomach laughing.

I just started at him until he finally calmed down grinning at me, eyes wide trying to look innocent. I see my brother trying to pull that look off all the time; it honestly never works. My frown turned into a pout. I was sleeping so damn nice no dreams or nightmares at all and he woke me up!

The so called innocent look on his face disappeared as he sat up. Before I could say anything or even bitch him out for waking me up like anyone else would right now, he reached forward and pulled me into a hug. To say I wasn’t shocked would be a lie. I blinked and hesitated for a short moment but I hugged back none the less.

Why would he hug me though; was he sorry for waking me up?

Well anyway...what an odd wake up call.

“I’m sorry.” He said lightly. “I didn’t really want to wake you up because you looked so peaceful how you were but I’m making breakfast soon...and yeah.”

I pulled away from him and looked at him shocked. I didn’t really expect that, but I guess he did wake me for a somewhat good reason. At least he didn’t wake me up for no reason; which I was half expecting.

“You don’t have to do that.” I said voice croaky from sleep.

I cleared my throat as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as he grinned happily at me again.

“Actually I do. You’re my guest and I am hungry.” He shrugged. “Do you want it in here or at the table?”
“Uh, table.” I muttered.

Garrett nodded breaking his legs from the blankets and stood up. I untangled myself from the covers and just as I was about to stand up he held his hands out for me to take. I smiled softly and took them letting him pull me up easily too my feet. I stumbled on the mattress a little most likely from the fact I just woke up but he quickly held my arm stopping me from falling back down.

I let out a breathy laugh as he chuckled leading me to the kitchen.

“Thanks.” I said softly as I sat down at the table.
“You’re welcome.”

I yawned and placed my elbows on the table letting my head sit in my hands. I rubbed my eyes again and blinked hard. I hated walking up suddenly in the morning; it felt like you were in a half sleep state for the next hour or so.

“So what would you like; toast, cereal or...pancakes? Well if we do have any mix left that is...” He trailed off. “I really should have gone food shopping yesterday.” He muttered opening one of the cupboards.

I chuckled lightly as he muttered about if his brother comes home today he would be complaining about no food in the house. I know what that is like; both Tanner and Jared are like that. Those two could seriously eat anyone out of house and home, and then complain that there was nothing else to eat. That’s brothers for you I suppose.

“Cereal is fine with me, no need to search the whole kitchen for pancake mix.” I smiled lightly.
“But I wanted pancakes!” He half whined, half complained.

I had to hold my hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t burst out laughing. It wasn’t often that he would whine about something so when it did happen it was as funny as all hell. He pouted at me a little but shrugged turning to grab some bowls for us.

He placed them on the table with spoons, and then got a box coco pops from the cupboard and the bottle of milk from the fridge. He sat down across from me and let me get my breakfast first. It wasn’t really that much; I wasn’t a big eater in the morning.

“So that zombie movie last night was a bit of a dud.” Garrett stated as he shoved a spoonful into his mouth.
“Yeah it was a bit.” I chuckled lightly. “That part when the person fell down those stairs was crap.”
“Yeah she got up, took a few steps then dropped dead! She wasn’t even hurt; how the hell does that work?”
“Who knows but I won’t be watching that movie again, unless it was to laugh at all the bad acting.” I said before emptying the spoon into my mouth.
“Same here.” He nodded.

I swallowed the food in my mouth and took another bite. As we ate silence fell around us but it wasn’t awkward, it was somewhat calming actually.

When I realised something I almost dropped my spoon; I wasn’t being guarded. Most of my usual guard was down and it felt...weird; like if there was something missing or a weight that should be on my shoulders and it wasn’t. I stared down at the table a little in awe but quickly hid it before Garrett could really notice.

Was I so unguarded around him like this last night? I don’t even remember if I was or not. I was too busy enjoying myself or thinking of other things to take any notice...like what he said before he fell asleep.

‘I wish I could tell you something.’

I have no idea what he means by that. Was it rubbish he muttered being half asleep or was there really something he wish he could tell me? Should I ask or not?

I don’t want to be pushy about it because if he didn’t want to tell me then he doesn’t have to; just like at first I didn’t want to tell him about my past. He was curious but wasn’t pushy over it, he had let me decided if I wanted to tell him or not. I’m still kind of amazed that he didn’t let his curiosity take over. I bet that was a bit hard to control.

I know I would have found it hard if I was to meet a person like me that obviously had something major happen to them in the past.

I sighed lightly as finished up my food, then stood to place the bowl in the sink. As I turned around Garrett stood up as well and did the same smiling at me as he stepped around me. As he walked off back to the lounge room I followed and sat down on the mattress as he sat on the couch.

“Do you still watch cartoons?” He grinned picking up the TV remote.

I nodded smiling. He chuckled and turned the screen on before finding the first channel that had cartoons on. I fixed up the pillows and shuffled back so I was leaning against the couch. I brought my legs up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees.

“Hey Garrett?” I asked softly.
“Yeah?”

Should I really ask or not? Before I could decide or stop myself I asked anyway.

“What did you mean by what you said last night?”

I heard him shuffle on the couch then sit down beside me on the mattress. I didn’t look at him though; I kept my eyes on the TV screen.

“What did I say last night?” He asked sounding confused.
“Before you fell asleep; that you wish you could tell me something.” I said lightly unsure.
“Oh that...” He muttered before chuckling shyly which make me look at him. “I thought I was dreaming that I guess not.” He added as he ran his hand though his hair.

He looked over at me and I could see that he was shy: something that Garrett didn’t happen to be very often at all. I bit down on my lip. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked...?

“Well there is something that I want to tell you, I really do what to...but I just a little scared of how you could react to it.” He sighed. “I did ask Jared and like usual he had no decent help for me.”
“He just said open your mouth and just say something right?”
“Yeah.” He laughed almost forcefully. “Not very helpful.”

I nodded and bit down on my lip again. I watched as he took a deep breath.

“Remember that day when you said that I confused you and I told you that I cared for you, but didn’t know why?”
“I do.” I nodded softly.
“Well that was the only lie I ever told you.”

I looked at him shocked. What...?

“I do actually know why I care for you and it is more than just wanting to be your friend; I want to help you and see you smile again. I want to be able to see you and not someone that was hiding behind a wall all the time.” He smiled softly. “I want to able to see you happy even when I had no idea of your past. Actually I felt like that since I first met you back when you first moved here.”

His smiled widen a little and I almost felt my eyes start to prick with tears. No one has ever said that to me before, not even mum though I know that was what she wanted to see from me again. And to just hear him say that...I dunno what to say or even think. What could I say?

Still smiling softly he reached over and took my hand gently holding it between both of his.

He took a slow deep breath before looking me right in my eyes. I could almost see all the care he had for me, the happiness he always had, the notable spark of truth as to what he was saying...and the trust in his eyes. If what he said didn’t blow me away then the raw emotions in his eyes would have.

“I guess I might as well tell you now because I’m sure you’ll find out sooner or later...but I like you; more than a friend.”

I felt my eyes go wide and it was amazing that my jaw didn’t hit the floor...but even though I was shocked I felt my heart rate speed up as a almost heart warming feeling spread throughout my chest. He likes me?

Why...why would he like someone like me? I’m nothing special; I have somewhat major social and trust problems. I have a past that is forever haunting me and so many other things. There are so many things about me that would drive everyone else away but he...

I opened up my mouth to say something but nothing really came out. Garrett bit down on his lip and turned his attention back to my hand that he was holding.

Really I should be more shell shocked than this; I should be pulling my hand away from him and making some stupid excuse to leave. I should be wanting to leave just so I could figure out my thoughts and even what to say.

No one...no one has ever said they liked me before. I’ve never really ever had any relationships before; I have no idea what to do, let alone what it was like to like someone that way.

Even though I should be moving away from him...I didn’t. I couldn’t.

Did I...like him that way too?

“I don’t expect you to feel the same, I understand if you don’t.” He said softly. “But I thought it was better if I told you because I didn’t want you to find out from the guys. I just thought you should know, this won’t change our friendship right?”

I looked up at him, not noticing that I had looked away in the first place. He looked at me worried. Did this change our friendship? No as far as I’m concerned it doesn’t. I don’t want to lose him as a friend just because he liked me more.

“No i-it doesn’t.” I said shaking my head. “It’s doesn’t c-change our friendship, but...I...um, I don’t know if I like you that way or not...I never, really...”

I bit down on my lip trying to figure out what to say. This is just...

“I’ve never been in a relationship or anything like that before...I shielded m-myself that much that I don’t even know what it is like to have a c-crush on s-someone.” I said my voice cracking.

I could feel myself start to shake a little, from so much emotion running through my body at once along with so many thoughts. Why would he like me? Did I like him too? The other guys knew? How did they know...?

Garrett let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me pulling me gently against him. I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. After just a moment I could feel myself relax against him.

This is just so weird, but then again when wasn’t something weird or odd in my life?

“Are you alright?” Garrett whispered.

I nodded softly.

I honestly understand why he thought it would be better for me to know; because I’m so fragile. If I was to find this out through any of the guys who knows what would have happened. I can’t take huge amounts of emotional strain.

I sighed lightly and shifted a bit closer to him as his arms tighten around me.

“Sorry, I don’t know if I feel the same.” I whispered.
“Don’t be.” He whispered back.

I opened my eyes again and looked up at him. I showed him a small smile and I got one in return.

I don’t know why I did what I did next, but I’m somewhat happy that I did; I leant up and kissed him on the cheek...pretty close to the corner of his mouth.