Eventually, Something Has to Give

“So are you excited for tonight?”

Without turning around to look at Tanner I nodded softly gazing out my bedroom window. Excited probably wasn’t really the word to explain how I felt right now, I felt more scared than anything but I was a little excited.

I haven’t been to a gig, let alone a show in a very long time and the fact it happen to be my friends performing was the exciting part. I have heard them play live once or twice at Pat’s house, but I have mainly heard their demo tapes and their EP. The show tonight is actually to promote their EP, I just happen to be one of the lucky few to have heard it already. Thanks to Jared.

What scares me though is the amount of people that will be there. I could probably hide and be unnoticeable somewhere but I still don’t like crowded areas – three hundred odd people were guessed to be there tonight squashed into the small building. If the building was a little bigger then I just might be able to survive it without having some sort of panic attack. We are going to be so crammed in there, that much it wouldn’t even be close to funny.

“You don’t seem to be.” Tanner pointed out simply over the noises of my computer chair squeaking. “Are you...well do you think you’ll be fine tonight? There’s meant to be a lot of people there.”
“I dunno, I’m scared actually.” I said softly not looking at him still.
“I’m sure ‘lover boy’ can get you on side stage for the show.” He chuckled softly as he mentioned Garrett. “At least I hope he does, it would be the safest place for you.” He added seriously.

I finally turned my attention away from the window and looked over at my brother. He was spinning around in my squeaky computer chair slowly with a worried frown pulling at his lips. Sighing lightly I brushed some hair back behind my ear and nodded agreeing. It would be the safest, but would there even be a side stage at this place? What if it was just one of those open stages, more of a platform than anything?

Sucking in my bottom lip I started bitting down on it. Tanner spun the chair around a bit too much making it slide and almost hit his arm on my desk.

“At least you won’t be alone, I’ll be there; mum, dad and of course all the guys.” He grinned moving the chair away from the desk again. “I’m sure even Tim would look after you if anyone says something.”

I sighed and looked back out the window at the empty street. I don’t really like Tim, Pat’s brother and band manager, knowing that I hate crowds but at least if he does happen to find out it’s something simple. A lot of people hate crowded areas, I’m sure I’m not the only person in this town.

Still, I don’t know Tim that much; I’ve only met him a handful of times and talked to him once.

“I guess.”
“You know if your boy doesn’t look after you, being your brother I get the right to punch him.”

I turned back to Tanner raising an eyebrow. He stopped spinning on the chair and grinned showing all his teeth, smile cheeky. I rolled my eyes but smiled back.

“I’m sure he already knows that.” I chuckled.
“He better!” Tan sang spinning around on the chair again.

He stopped spinning suddenly and jumped up from the chair, heading to my bedroom door.

“I’m going to get ready; the guys would want help to load the van up sometime soon.” He said opening the door. “Someone has to do Garrett’s part if he’s got his tongue down your throat!”

Glaring I reached for my pillow but before I had the chance to throw it, my bedroom door slammed shut and I could heard thundering footsteps racing off down the hallway. Tanner’s laugh could probably be heard all over the house. Grumbling a little I placed the pillow down and rolled my head back to look at the ceiling.

I’m still scared.

+.+.+

Sitting on the grass, I watched as most of the equipment that filled Pat’s band room get slowly loaded into the van and trailer. I was helping before with mic stands, cords and so on but now they were loading the drum set, amps and guitars. I didn’t trust myself to carry any of that with how much my hands are shaking already.

I just hope that nobody notices it and that I can keep myself calm enough at least to get to the venue. I want to see them play, I really do. I want to see them doing what they love and having a great time. It’s just the huge crowd that will be there – all those people.

It would be the biggest crowd I’ve been in since high school two years ago and who knows what type of people that would be there. Was if there was some guys like them? What if there were people like that guy from the art shop? What happens if I get lost and can’t find anyone?

A sudden pair of feet stopping in front of me made me jump lightly and look up. The sun shinned straight down onto my eyes so I had to quickly look back down to avoid it. I rubbed my eyes before looking at the persons shoes again. A light smile pulled at my lips when I realised who those shoes belonged to.

Garrett sat down where he had stood cross legged and shuffled closer so our knees were touching. He all but grinned at me when I smiled a bit wider at him. I linked my fingers together in my lap so he couldn’t see them shaking slightly.

I don’t want to mess up his night because he is more worried about me than what he already is.

“How are you feeling lovely?” He asked tilting his head to the side.

As much as he tried to hide it I could see the worry in his eyes as clear as day. I forced myself not to frown and keep my face unreadable as the smile faded.

“I’m alright, nervous though.” I said softly shrugging a little only half lying. “Aren’t you meant to be the one nervous?” I chuckled.
“Yeah.” He laughed almost forcefully. “I am. A lot. We have played to a bigger crowd a couple of times before, but this is for our EP which makes it a little more nerve wrecking.”

Smiling I pulled my hands apart and reached over to take one of his hands gently to find it shaking just as much as mine. It almost feels weird to be around someone that is just as scared as what I am at the same time. He gave my hand a bit of a squeeze.

“You guys will do great though. I haven’t seen you play live other than at practice but the EP is great.” I smiled. “I’m sure everyone there will love the band if they don’t already do. I do, I love your guys music.”

I chuckled watching his eyes light up a little and a smile flash across his face. Using my hand that he was holding he pulled me forward gently enough to brush his lips with mine.

Of course when that happened whistling was heard in the background. John or Tanner are my bets.

Laughing Garrett turned around and stuck his finger up at whoever it was. I smiled softly and shook my head amused.

“I’m glad you like our band so much. Means a lot to hear that.” He said turning back around to face me.
“Just pointing out the obvious.”
“Thanks.”

Smiling he reached over and slid his other hand in my free one holding them both in between us and brushing his thumb over my knuckles. Before I could say anything more though, we were being called over to the van. Garrett stood up still holding my hands and helped me up. He dropped one hand as we walked over towards everyone else.

Kennedy jumped out of the trailer and pushed the doors shut locking them with John’s help. Jarred was already in the drivers’ seat starting the van waiting for everyone else to climb in.

I looked over across the street at home and saw mum waving where she sat on the front steps coffee cup in one hand and Pat’s mum standing beside her. I waved lightly and got into the van behind Garrett.

I ended up being half squished between Kennedy and Garrett, but that was alright. It was tight fit in the van because the back seat was taken up by what merch the band did have. I hope they managed to sell a fair bit of that tonight so they can put some of the money into getting a bigger trailer. If the band gets more known they’ll need it for sure.

Sighing lightly I leant into Garrett and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt him stiffen for a moment because doing this wasn’t something that I did often, but then I felt him relax and threat his fingers with mine. I smiled softly and gazed out the window next to Kennedy, watching the houses drift past.

I pushed the idea of the crowd out of my head and focused on the warmth of Garrett against me. I don’t know what it is but he makes me feel calmer and even safe. I’m grateful for that though, because tonight I’m going to need that. I’m doing this for him and my friends. I hope I can.

It only took roughly a twenty or so minute drive to get to where the guys were playing. Jared pulled the van around to the back of the large building and turned the engine off. I know from what they guys have told me that the building looks bigger that what it really is inside.

Pat pulled the side door open before letting everyone in the back out. I stumbled out after Kennedy and felt a pair of hands grip my hips to keep me balanced.

“Thanks.”
“Anytime.” Garrett said tightening his grip slightly before letting go.

He smiled at me and headed to the trailer that John was unlocking. Jared walked past me and I stepped into time with him as he headed over to the already open door on the building. My cousin grinned at me and linked our arms heading inside which turned out to be the kitchen.

There were a few people loading drinks into the large fridges but we didn’t stop to talk to them. Jared kept leading me into the main room, where the gig was obviously going to be held.

The room was somewhat long, not too wide, but it was slightly bigger than what I expected. The ceiling was high, white walls, huge but high up windows and the floor was wooden with a lot of marks from a lot of previous use. On the left side of the room was the bar type area that joined to the kitchen and opposite to that on the right side were the toilets.

Down one end of the hall was the main entrance where a table was already being set up for people to pay and down the other end was the stage. The stage was at least a meter off the ground with doors on both sides leading to the back stage. The stage wasn’t all that big but the right size for tonight, the guys had a little room to jump around in by the looks of it.

“Pretty good for our first EP release, aye?” Jared asked looking around like I was.

I nodded and looked at him from the stage.

“It does.” I nodded again. “It is slightly bigger than what I thought it would be.” I stated quietly.
“We were hoping to be able to book the other hall a few blocks over but their renovating the kitchen there.” He shrugged before smiling. “This is better than nothing.”

I nodded agreeing. Suddenly someone called out Jared’s name and we both looked over to see Tim walking over to us smiling.

“So are you guys ready to set everything up? You didn’t forget you guitar did you?” He chuckled.

Jared laughed and hit his arm lightly. I smiled and Tim glanced at me smiling kindly before turning his attention back to my cousin. I unlinked my arm with Jared and turned walking back the way I came quickly.

I slipped past other people without being noticed and spotted Garrett over by the van pulling out one of the boxes. The second it was lifted into the air the bottom fell out and shirts fell to the ground. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from laughing as Garrett swore out loudly.

“Need any help?” I asked walking up beside him.
“Please.”

I smiled and crouched down. He placed the box on the ground upside down and started picking up the still folded shirts. I picked up one that had unfolded and folded it back up. Any little distraction before the fans get here is more than welcomed.

“Thanks.”
“Anytime.” I echoed from what he had said before.

He laughed and leant over placing his lips on mine briefly. Pulling away he grinned and went back to loading the box. I glanced up at the building to see Kennedy carrying one of the small amps inside.

Tonight was going to be interesting to say the least.