Eventually, Something Has to Give

The soft blanket that was wrapped around me was like my shield for the outside world. I had been here all day without moving. I didn’t see the point in getting out; I have nothing better to do, Aunt doesn’t need my help, parents were working and Jared was...somewhere. So like normal I was alone in the house and bored.

Times like these I was glad I had a good imagination; it burnt up an hour or two.

Sighing I curled myself into a tighter ball and closed my eyes. I didn’t really want to think of it now but it was hard not to; what is it going to be like when Tanner gets here tomorrow? I know it would be awkward, but will it be that awkward we can’t get along or can’t be within the same room as each other? Could we even have a proper conversation?

I guess I have to wait as see, but I couldn’t help but wonder about it...

Hearing my phone ring suddenly I jumped startled and slowly pulled the blanket off my head. I gazed at my phone shaking on the bedside table but made no move to get it. I know its Jared because of the ring tone, suppose I better get it. Rolling my eyes I sat up on one arm and grabbed it. I was just about to hit the button to take the call when it stopped ringing. Shit.

I quickly started going through the contacts and just as I reached his my bedroom door flew open.

“You’re still in bed?” Jared asked sounding shocked.
“Yep.” I chuckled laying back down.

I pulled the blanket back over my head and smiled. I heard him laughed lightly and suddenly my smile was whipped off my face. I huffed as Jared jumped onto the bed half landing on top of me. I growled and tried to push him off but he wouldn’t move an inch.

“You’re one heavy cousin.” I huffed.
“Well you’re one small cousin.”
“I’m as tall as Pat,” I pointed out. “He just looks short compared the rest of you and your friends.”
“They are your friends too.”

I stayed quiet and was glad the blanket was over my face to hide whatever expression was showing from him. Are they my...friends? Do they count me as a friend of theirs? I never really thought much about it because I haven’t had friends in years... but why would they want to be friends with an almost broken girl like me? All I am is a person that can’t let herself trust anyone and have past memories that hunt her.

“Lara?” Jared asked when I hadn’t said anything for about five minutes.

I swallowed hard and forced any memories into a box before they had the chance to show. Slowly the blanket was pulled away my face and I opened my eyes to see Jared looking at me worryingly. I looked away to the side and still said nothing. He sighed lightly and lent down quickly to hug me like he was trying to cheer me up or something. I pushed the blanket off my arms so I could hug him back.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that; but it is somewhat true.” He said quietly getting off of me. “Come on we have somewhere to be.” He added quickly.

Looking at him confused I sat up and got out of bed. He actually looked surprised that I was dressed. Sure today was a lazy day but I wasn’t that lazy; I did do the dishes this morning. Slipping my shoes on I re-tied my hair back and grabbed my phone.

“Where are we meant to be?” I asked following him out of my room.

I swear his visit times are totally random now and he is dragging me to more places with him...more places where his friends are too.

“You’ll see.” He said cheerfully.

I eyed his back but shrugged. Wherever we are going it has to be better than being in this house. We got to his car parked in the drive way and hopped in. Jared grinned pulling out of the drive way before going down the street. I eyed him from the corner of my eye again. It wasn’t often when he wouldn’t tell me where we were going, it almost scared me.

He drove slowly down a few streets and it confused me more. Where the hell are we going?

“Hey, you don’t mind if someone comes with us?” He asked glancing at me at a stop sign.
“Who?” I asked softly.

He chuckled and the next thing I know we are parked in front of someone’s house. I looked at it totally confused and tilted my head to the side. Whose is this house? One of...his friends?

It didn’t take long before my questions were answered when the front door opened showing Garrett walking out. I turned to Jared who smiled.

“You don’t mind right?” He asked. “I did ask the others but they were busy.”
“It’s fine.” I nodded.

He smiled at me and honked the horn at Garrett who was having trouble locking the door of the house. He yelled something but we couldn’t really hear it. Once he did have the door locked he ran to the car and hopped in the back.

“Hey guys, sorry the key got stuck.”
“Hi man, its fine.” Jared smiled starting the car again.
“Hi Garrett...” I said softly.

I could feel him smiling at me as I looked away from him and out the window. A slight bit of uneasiness crept around my chest, but it was easily ignored, I was used to it now. Anyhow if I could survive talking to Kennedy and Pat by myself then this should be fine. Plus Jared is with me; I trust that he trusts Garrett. Did that make any sense? Shaking my head slightly I breathed in deeply and concentrated on the view outside the car. I’m starting to think that I think way too much – but it is only to protect myself.

My eyes widen when I see the shopping centre. So is this were we are going?

“The mall?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Jared chuckled. “I need new shoes.”

Smiling I rolled my eyes and waited for him to find a parking spot. Even though today was somewhat cold as yesterday there was still a lot of people here and it took Jared around twenty minutes to find somewhere to park; which if you ask me was crazy. A sunny warm day I’d expect that, but cold cloudy one?

Finally we got out the car and into the building. There was even more people here than what I thought...

+.+.+

Drumming my fingers against the table I looked around the crowded food court. To be honest I was feeling really uneasy and twitchy, which I guess was why people kept looking at me. I do not do well in crowded places like this on my own. Sure Jared and Garrett were only roughly twenty meters from me ordering our food, but still, they weren’t at the table with me.

I sucked in my lower lip and nibbled on it hard. My heart was beating hard and I tried to keep calm breaths. I don’t have panic attacks often, but the last thing I want is one right here. I looked over at the guys hoping to see they had got the food yet. I almost felt like whimpering when I noticed they were only next to order. My stomach flipped at the uneasiness.

I haven’t been alone in a crowd for a long time; since school actually.

Slowly Jared looked around court obviously bored waiting and after a moment his eyes caught mine. I looked at him pleadingly and he’s eyes widen in alarm. Only he knew how bad I was with things like this. Why do I have to be such a useless scaredy cat?

Jared quickly looked away from me nudging Garrett. I bit my lip harder and looked down at my fidgeting hands. I felt bad for being like this and making Jared worried about me; but I can’t help it. I yelped quietly as the chair across from me moved and snapped my head up blinking.

Garrett looked at me worried.

“Are you ok?” He asked tilting his head to the side slightly.

Just he doing that made some of the uneasiness curl away from my stomach and back to my chest.

“I...I don’t do well in crowded places by myself.” I muttered.

He nodded and half reached his hand out across the table. I knew why he did that but looked away acting like I didn’t notice. I don’t trust him enoughor at all to hold my hand even if it might calm me down. I moved my eyes to my hands again.

“It will be ok, I’ll stay with you and Jared shouldn’t be too long.”
“Thank you.” I nodded taking a change too look at him.
“Anytime.” He smiled.

Now would it be completely crazy if I said I felt completely easy and almost safe when he smiled and looked at me like that? I think I’m losing my mind. The sound of food being placed on the table snapped our eye lock and we both turn to Jared. He smiled at us and handed out the food.

When I saw it I suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore, not that I have since I was left at the table alone. But I better eat it or Jared would have a fit over it. Slowly I opened the box before reaching out shaking slightly for a fork on the tray.

My hand suddenly hit Garrett’s and I felt my face flush for being so stupid and not looking. He chuckled and let me grab a fork first. I shoved it into my food and glanced up at Garrett. He was smiling softly at me again. I looked away at my food just as Jared started complaining about how long he had to wait in line for.

I let Jared take my attention to block out everyone that wasn’t at the table, but I still felt him taking glances at me as he complained along with my cousin.