Eventually, Something Has to Give

The TV hummed quietly in the background of the shuffling feet and excited talking that filled the living room. I simply sat on the couch silently watching as Mum got ready and listening to Jared’s happy chatter. Like usual he was talking about his friends again; I have to admit it made me smile when he talked about them because it made him happy.

I never minded when he told me all the things they did together on movie nights or during their shows, I found it interesting. I think I know more about those boys than what they thought I knew by now. I’m starting to think it was the same for them too because over the last couple of months they have been more...gentle, I guess I could say around me.

Like that night when I stayed at Jared’s – there was a few things there like when Kennedy and Garrett saw my drawing. Also at the cafe when Kennedy and Pat talked to me and the biggest one was at the shopping centre yesterday when Garrett sat with me to keep my calm.

Now that I was nowhere near so many people I could think back on it. I was amazed how Garrett wanted to hold my hand to calm me down, how he smiled at me and the most; how he never asked why I wasn’t calm being in crowds of people. I’m beyond happy he didn’t ask because if he did I wouldn’t have known what to do...I probably would have freaked out more.

I feel so embarrassed from that now. What did he think about me from it?

“So are you excited to see Tanner again?” Jared asked suddenly.

I blinked and smiled softly nodding. I was in a way excited; in another I was downright scared and nervous.

“I am, you?” I asked already knowing the answer anyway.
“Yeah, I haven’t seen him in ages!” He nodded. “I think Tim would like to see him.”

My eyebrows pulled together as I looked at him confused for a second. Just as he was about to explain it, it clicked in my head. Tanner was somewhat friends with Tim –Pat’s brother- before he left, they weren’t really close, but they talked a lot in our front yards.

“Yeah, probably.” I nodded.
“Come on, let’s get going! Don’t want to be late.” Mum called cheerfully.

Jared pulled me up from the couch and with a hold on my arm he half pulled me out the house too. I smiled shaking my head knowing he only did that just to make me move faster and try to annoy me. I dunno if he has realised it or not, but I don’t get annoyed with it anymore. Unless he was dragging me to a place I didn’t want go to, of course.

We all pilled into mum’s car with me in shotgun and Jared in the back. Mum started the car and drove down the road. Looking out the window at our house as we moved away from it I frowned a little. I actually though Dad would take the time off to come pick Tanner up with us; he usually did any other time and was the one that organised everything.

I haven’t heard anything about this from him ever since we found out other that he was happy that Tanner was coming back. Lately I have hardly seen Dad at all, I know he works all the time but it’s like he doesn’t even live in the same house. Is his work seriously that busy and important?

“Dad working?” I asked glancing at Mum. “Couldn’t he get off to come with us, he usually comes.”
“I’m not sure, he said he was going to stay home but then he left before I even woke up.” She said softly.

I nodded and glanced at Jared shrugging. He got my quiet message and shrugged too. So we both agree that, that was weird of my Dad.

It’s crazy what Jared knows of everyone in my house, it’s like he was another big brother of mine and lived there. Honestly I would never wish for Jared to be my brother because as far as I’m concerned he was anyway. He was my rock, if it wasn’t for him I’m sure I would be twenty times worse than what I already am – I probably wouldn’t even come out of the house even to get the mail from the mail box.

The rest of the drive to the airport was quiet and quick. We got there and even found a parking spot fast which surprised me. We all got out and I walked along with Jared with Mum in front of us. As we entered I crossed my arms over my chest tightly.

Did I really want to head towards the gates where there would be more people? Should I ask Jared for us to go somewhere else and meet up with mum and Tanner at the front of the airport? I’m sure Tanner would understand if I wasn’t there.

Usually I’m fine with Jared with me or Mum...but after yesterday I don’t want to chance it.

“Hey Jared...” I trailed off.
“Mm yeah?”
“D-do you wanna go somewhere else?” I asked looking at him with my eyes wide so he knows why I asked.

Once he realised he nodded smiling.

“Sure, maybe we can get something to eat.” He suggested.

I nodded and he tapped mum on her shoulder to get her attention. He told her we are going for food, she smiled and handed me some money as I had none on me. As we started walking away she gave me a knowing look as to why we were heading somewhere else. I looked down at my feet staying close to Jared.

After a little while of walking around we found a small cafe that was pretty well empty. We ordered drinks and sat down in one of the back corners. Of course I got myself a choc chip muffin once I saw them; I guess I could say I loved cakes and muffins a lot.

Cutting the muffin in half I listened to Jared’s happy chatter again. I always wonder if it was weird if I said I was glad he always had something to talk about – as long as it wasn’t about me...

“Was it ok that I asked Garrett sit with you yesterday?” He asked taking a bit of my muffin making me glare at him a little playfully.
“Yeah.” I nodded softly.
“So you really didn’t mind?” He asked sounding shocked.

I looked up at him and felt my face heat up; because it was fine, for the first time in ages someone that I didn’t trust sat with me while in a crowded area and I was ok with it. To be honest I was shocked at it myself but I didn’t let it show.

“N-no I didn’t mind.” I said lowly. “I guess it was because I knew that you trusted him well enough so it was ok.” I shrugged.

That was the only explanation I could think of. I pulled in my bottom lip and started niggling on it.

“That’s good then, I thought for a minute when I sat down that you were going to throw something at me.” He laughed making me smiled.
“That’s an idea, I could have done that!” I laughed.
“You wouldn’t hurt me, you love me too much.” He smirked.
“You can love a parson so much you would hurt them, you know.”

Jared rolled his eyes and I smiled knowing that he had nothing to come back on that. I took a bite of my muffin as he watched his eyes suddenly showing that he was thinking hard.

“Maybe you let him because you might trust him enough to.” He whispered but I heard.

I froze for a moment. No, I don’t trust anyone outside of family. I started shaking my head.

“No, hear me out. You might not trust him or anyone, but maybe you trusted him enough to let him sit with you because you know I trust him well.” He said thoughtfully. “If that makes sense.”
“It does...But I dunno.”
“Maybe you could start trusting one of the guys, I know them well like the back of my hand so I know that they won’t do anything to you. Even if it was just one of them; even Garrett maybe. It might help you and be good for you.”

Bitting my lip again I looked down and took the last bite of my muffin. Would doing that be good for me? Should I?

Could I even do that? Could I let myself trust anyone else?

The sudden sound of my phone going off makes me jump. I ripped it out of my pocket and saw a text from mum saying that they were at the front. Well, that was quick. I guess his plane landed on time.

I placed my phone away and mumbled a quick ‘we have to go’ to Jared as I skulled the rest of my drink. He did the same and we left quickly; for once we were both quiet. We were always quiet after we had talks like that about me; mainly because I never knew what to say.

What possible could I say anyways? ‘Sorry for being such an untrusting broken girl’ like that would go down well. I hear Jared sigh loudly as we got to the main doors and he caught my wrist to stop me walking.

“Sorry if I upset you saying that, I...I just want to help.” He muttered.
“I-it’s ok. I know your trying...I just don’t know if I can.” I whispered the last part.

I think he heard because he nodded wrapping his arm around my shoulders leading me out of the airport. Just as we got outside I saw the familiar black and bleached blond hair. Well Tanner hasn’t changed his hair style at all.

“Hey Lara.” Tanner smiled placing his bags on the ground once he saw us.
“Hi Tan.”

He opened his arms for me as Jared let go. Smiling I walked into his arms wrapping mine around his waist. I actually thought this would be awkward, but it wasn’t. I smiled again as he kissed my forehead like he used to always do and pulled away. He turned his attention to Jared and they gave each other a quick hug saying their greetings.

I glanced over at mum to see her eyes shining excitedly and happily. I knew she really missed Tanner while he was away like most mothers would when their kids move away for school. I probably would have done the same if I wasn’t like I was.

Jared helped Tanner with his bags and we headed for the car quickly. I could feel Tanner’s eyes on me tracing over every part of me for a moment. He still worried so much he always checked if I was alright. Physically; I was. Mentally; who the hell knew.

Sighing I got in the front of the car again for the short drive back home. I rested my elbow on the arm rest of the door and placed my head in my palm as I listened to the two guys talking in the back about when they had been up to lately. Once the car pulled up home I got out and went to unlock the door for everyone.

I waited smiling softly for everyone to enter the house before closing the door. I followed the guys to Tanner’s room. I laughed with Jared as Tanner jumped on his bed hugging the pillow like a little kid. I moved sitting next to him on the edge.

But I wasn’t on the edge for long before he yanked at my jumper making me fall backwards so I was lying across his stomach. I glanced at him rolling my eyes, but I didn’t move.

“How have you been sis?” He asked as Jared sat on the end of the bed.
“I’ve been fine.” I smiled. “And you?”
“Fine, was a bit stressed with school work until the school burnt down.” He sighed. “I guess I get an extra holiday.” He grinned.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Can’t believe that happened though, what a bunch of idiots.”
“I’m amazed the dorms did get burnt down.” He mused.

I nodded and looked over at Jared.

“So how has the band been going Jared?”

I started laughing as Jared’s eyes lit up. Tanner going to get it now, Jared won’t shut up for the next hour maybe even longer about his band; not that I don’t mind listening as well.