Eventually, Something Has to Give

The front door all but slamming open made me jump in my seat and bite back a loud yelp that threatened to come out of my mouth. Looking up at the door way of the room with wide scared eyes, Garrett’s grip in my hand tightens but we both relaxed as Jared and Tanner rushed into the room.

Without any warning Jared practically attacked me in a bear hug holding me tightly to him. It was awkward with me sitting on the couch but I wrapped my free arm around him and held on tightly like if I was to let go this very second he would vanish. Bitting my lip –yet again- I hid my face into his shoulder closing my eyes tightly.

We stayed like that for a long moment before he gently pulled away. Opening my eyes I saw him move away letting Tanner hug me softly. He kissed my forehead gently and pulled back to be able to see my face.

“Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah.” I stuttered.

This was as ok as I was going to be, to be completely honest, though I think it would be a while for me not to be so shaky and jumpy. Tanner’s lips flattened into a line but he nodded stepping back. I felt Garrett start to run circles on my hand again; I smiled very so softly and looked up at Jared who was sitting next to me. He was looking at out linked hands in total shock...it almost looked like he was going to pass out.

Shyly I reached over and placed my hand on his to snap him out of it. His eyes moved to mine as a huge smile took over his face. His eyes lit up so happily he looked like a kid at Christmas when they saw Santa at the mall and got the biggest lolly bag they have ever seen.

He was so happy and all I was doing was letting Garrett hold my hand...I guess he was right about how he trusted Garrett not to hurt me. He wasn’t hurting my hand; but I don’t trust him anymore than that. I still don’t know if I could do that.

Jared leaned forward and kissed my cheek softly.

“I’m proud of you.” He whispered into my ear. “I knew you could trust a person again to at least hold your hand.”

I nodded and looked down a little holding back a smile.

I’m proud of you.

Those for words made my heart swell and flutter. The terrified feeling that was hovering around in my chest about holding Garrett’s hand suddenly disappeared letting a heart worming feeling takes its place.

Jared chuckled and patted my hand before letting me move it back to my lap. I glanced back up at everyone blinking a few times. They were either looking at me or around the room calmly – really it was only Tanner that wasn’t looking at me, he was eyeing the TV in thought. I bet he was thinking about something to make all of us feel better after that...situation.

“How about we all get some food, drink and relax for a while yeah?” He suggested looking back at everyone. “Unless anyone has somewhere to be.” He stated mainly looking at Garrett in question.
“I’m free.” Garrett smiled.
“Great, I’ll get the food!” Jared chirped jumping from the couch.

Tanner quickly got up to help him leaving me with the guy that ‘saved’ me today. Well at least in my eyes he saved me - saved me from more things than he would ever know of. Smiling softly I looked at him and he smiled back letting his head tilt to the side, still rubbing circles on my skin. I don’t think he would let go of my hand for a while, and amazingly I don’t have a problem with that.

It felt nice for someone else to comfort me. Right now if it wasn’t for him I’d probably be having a full on panic attack.

“Just a warning; you might want to grab what you want to eat fast, my brothers are black holes when it comes to food.” I said softly.

Garrett laughed nodding.

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” He chuckled as my said brothers walked into the room with their arms full of food.

+.+.+

In total I have no idea how long we stayed in the living room, talking and watching movies for – but before I knew it, it was getting dark outside and my eyes were getting really heavy with sleep. Now that I had a chance to relax and calm down a bit, I felt exhausted with everything that happened today; mentally as well as physically.

Garrett left around sunset because his mum call him saying that his family was going out for dinner and Jared left not long after for a similar reason. Mum and Auntie Rhonda were having dinner together and Jared was asked to join them as well as me and Tanner. I said no as did Tanner; Jared was unsure but I somehow managed to convince him into going. I had to promise him that I would call if I needed him like usual. I thinkI hope I wouldn’t have to call him, but it was nice like usual to know that he was there.

“So Jared seemed shocked when he saw you and Garrett holding hands.” Tanner mused quietly lying next to me on my bed.
“Yeah, I was terrified at first; well actually most of the time.” I mumbled.
“Understandable,” I felt him nod. “With everything that you have been through. And you said you weren’t friends with them!”
“I’m not.” I stated simply.
“Well from how I see it, I say that you and Garrett were friends. Not close of course, but friends none the less.”

I let his words sink in and let my tired eyes open to face my ceiling. Did I think of him as my friend?

“I thought friends trusted each other.” I whispered.
“You trusted him enough to help you and hold your hand to comfort you right?”

I hesitated for a long moment and nodded softly. Suddenly I felt him kiss my forehead in a caring but also ‘I told you so way’. I rolled my eyes. Maybe he’s right, maybe he’s not; but at the moment I didn’t want to think about it.

I closed my eyes again and let the silence take over the room. It wasn’t like I had much to say anyway. After a while I felt my bed move as Tanner got up. I opened one of my eyes to look at him. He got off the bed and kissed my forehead again.

“Good night.” He smiled.

I have him a sleepy smiled back making him chuckled quietly. I watched as he walked out of my room, turning the light off before closing the door so there was just a small crack that let in a tiny amount of the hallway light in.

Sighing I rolled onto my side finally letting my brain to rest and sleep take over me.

.~.~.

...It was dark, like it always was when this happened. Like usual I had no idea where I was but I know I wasn’t alone. I could hear their murmured voices around my bruised body and their quiet footsteps.

I could hear sobbing that wasn’t my own, but one of theirs. The one that didn’t want this to happen to me, the one the leader said was “week” and had to watch what happened. These guys were meant to be my brother’s school friends. But they’re not, they’re two faced fakes that would gang bash anyone they picked on at the school just because they could – even girls.

Slowly I tried to pick my almost broken body off the ground, at least so I wasn’t laying on it because the cold floor wasn’t making anything better, the cold made everything ache worse. Just as I got half of my body up I heard someone laugh. It almost made my heart stop.

Before I could do anything, even look up at the person I felt their shoe slam into my ribs. An almost bloody curling scream left my lips.

But that wasn’t the end of it.

.~.~.

Gasping for breath my eyes snapped open as my arms wrapped around my waist like I was trying to keep it together. Cool sweat made my clothes and hair stick to my skin like it was a second layer and I shivered.

It was that dream again, they same bloody dream. No, nightmare.

Actually it wasn’t even a nightmare, it was a memory.

Shaking my head to get rid of it, I sat up slowly almost afraid that my ribs would hurt with the movement. I sighed relieved when they didn’t; the only thing that hurt a little was the arm I fell on at the shopping centre today. Frowning I rubbed it gently with my other hand while getting out of bed. I walked over to the light switch flipping it on.

I winced at the sudden light. When my eyes got used to it I headed back to my bed sitting on the edge. Slowly I reached under it and grabbed my latest sketch book and pencil case. I moved so I was leaning against my pillows and flipped the book’s cover open.

Knowing with that memory in my head there was no way I going back to sleep for a while, I picked up a pencil and let it run across the loose pages I stuffed into the back of the book.

Like usual I turned my memories to pictures letting my fingers do all the work. Slowly two people holding hands started to form on the page and I have no honest idea if I should be happy or terrified to see that appearing in front of me.