Save Me

I cowered behind Jay as he pushed his way through the masses of screaming fans, pulling me along with him, to make his way to the barriers. I was about to see my favorite band, my hero’s, for the first time live in concert.

I should have been excited and I should have been screaming and jumping around with the other fans, but I just couldn’t will myself to do it. Not when I knew what was to come after the show ended and the crowds dissipated.

“Stand in front of me.” Jay muttered pushing me in front of him and bracing his arms around me, against the barriers. He was protecting me, despite the troubles we had been having this past year, and he felt the need to protect me from the crowd. It was small things like this that showed me he still cared, no matter what he put me through.

Huntington, West Virginia, Nightmare after Christmas Tour. I had been waiting for this since the day Jay told me he had purchased the tickets. When he first informed me of his intentions to take me to the concert I had thought that it was another one of his sick little games where he played on my fears, and sometimes even my dreams.

I didn’t even believe him when he showed me the receipt. It wasn’t until we actually arriveed at the Big Sandy Super Store Arena that I believed him. But with everything Jay does, I should have known he had an ulterior motive. He always does. Maybe I should be grateful; at least I get to see two of my favorite bands in concert.

The first band came on stage and completely pumped the crowed up. They were called New Medicine and totally knew how to work the crowd. I ignored signals my body was giving off the best I could and listened to the young group.

Well I couldn’t really say young because they were most likely older than me. I made a mental note to check out their album when we got home. Once that band cleared the stage, groups of roadies came out and took away their equipment and replaced it with Hollywood Undead’s.

As we waited for the Hollywood Undead set to begin, Jay and I talked back and forth a little bit, but he mostly talked to this group of girls who didn’t look over the age of sixteen. They looked at me repeatedly as if they were trying to figure out why he was with me, and not with one of them. I rolled my eyes because they didn’t even know the half of it. They didn’t know our history.

Finally after twenty or so minutes the lights dimmed and I watched as Johnny Three Tears, Da Kurlz, Charlie Scene, J-Dog, Danny, and my favorite, Funny Man, ran out on stage. I sang along with every song and laughed at the way Funny Man danced around on stage thrusting his pelvis, and the way J3T would put one leg up on the speaker and grab himself.

Da Kurlz was freaking out on his drum kit and running around the stage messing with Danny and J-Dog and just getting back to his kit in time to play his part. I even heard Jay laugh once or twice which surprised me, but I didn’t question it. I missed that side of him.

After that time seemed to slow down and drag on as Stone Sour played their set. That was when things started to get a little bit crazy, but it was nothing to what I knew it would be when Avenged Sevenfold took the stage. “Jay?” I asked softly, hoping he heard me. My head was spinning and I felt as though I would collapse at any second.

He turned his attention away from the girls he had been speaking with and looked at me sharply. “What?” His tone implied that he was not happy that I had interrupted his conversation. But I couldn’t exactly help it. I was feeling worse that I had been before, to the point where I could no longer ignore it.

“I’m just-I’m not feeling too well.” He raised his eyebrow as his eyes scanned my body. Nothing would be found though. I was covered from head to toe and I felt like I was suffocating I was so hot. “You’ll be fine.” He stated curtly and turned back to the girls.

I repressed the urge to scream at him and turned back around, and just as I did so the room went completely black and the stage filled with smoke. The intro to Nightmare came over the speakers and I was sure my ear drums would bust because of the screaming. And then, suddenly, a man jumped from the rafters and ‘hung’ himself.

At that point the guys came out on stage and my heart began to beat like a humming bird as I finally saw my idols in the flesh. Jay had us pressed up against the barrier between Matt and Syn, but closer to Matt. I could feel the rush of the people as the main act began to play but I paid it no mind.

My eyes were only on the five men on that stage. I was amazed at the way Synyster’s hands seemed to glide over his guitar, and I was stunned at how much Zacky just completely killed it.

The way Johnny banged his bass was enough to cause any girls panties to drop, and the way Matt’s raspy voice filled the arena was more than enough to cause any person to swoon. But my eyes, they were mostly on the man in the back, behind the drum set. No, I did not fantasize about him sexually, as many of these girls probably might. He was my hero, the number one reason I was still fighting.

But how long could I keep fighting when my reasons for living kept dwindling?
The concert was over, and the venue was slowly becoming deserted as the time slowly crept upon the midnight hour.
Caige just wanted to go home and sleep, but she knew Jay had something planned and that there was nothing she could do about it. She wished that a bolt of lightning would come from the sky and strike her dead before Jay’s plans became known.

“Caige,” Jay’s voice rang out in the quiet of the night, startling her from her sleepy state. Her head rose from her knees and looked at him without saying a word, telling him to continue with her blue eyes. Here it is, the reason he brought her to the concert. His plans were about to take place. “Listen, there are some guys that I owe a few favors and I need you to help me out. Okay?”

She wasn’t sure how it was possible but as he said the words, she felt another piece of her already broken heart crumble away. What more did she have to fight for? The eyes that once held so much life, so much love stared at the man that she once thought loved her. She didn’t say anything. What more could she say that she hadn’t said before?

She hated herself for what she had allowed to happen to herself. She had allowed the man in front of her to beat her down and make her weak. It was all on her though; it was her choice to stay.

A bout of laughter sounded from across the street as she raised her head to search for source of the sound. Three men sauntered across the road without caution and met Jay on the sidewalk, shaking hands and talking in hushed tones. Caige’s eyes began to water as Jay walked towards her, as if he wasn’t about to let these men have her like a cheap toy.

Jay watched through emotionless eyes as he moved closer to her. He had never seen such hurt and fear in them before, and he knew that this was the final blow. He had broken finally broken her.

The night was dark and turning cold as the wind began to swirl through the streets. Caige Cross felt none of it though. Not the biting wind on her cheek or the freezing rain that fell from the sky. She simply felt nothing. And for that, she was grateful.