Status: Occasionally updated. Not too often.
I Can Use Some Guiding Light
Nightmares
“Brian! Brian, wake up!” I felt two hands on my face as I awoke from the horrible nightmare I was having. I opened my eyes to see Allison holding my head in her hands, a look of terror on her face. “Oh, thank God! You scared me to death!” She wrapped her arms around me and placed her head on my chest, sort of giving me a hug. “What happened?!”
I sat up and all I could say was, “Nightmare.”
“Oh, was it about...?” she trailed off, not about to say “Jimmy's death” in front of me.
I nodded, tears immediately escaping my eyes. “Fuck...this has been happening almost every night.”
She embraced me tightly, “It's okay, Bri. Everything is gonna be alright.”
“How do you know?” I inquired, looking into her eyes.
She told me, “I just do, okay? It won't be this hard to deal with forever. I know it may seem like that right now, but believe me...it won't.”
I questioned, “Have you gone through something like this before?”
“Well...I...I lost my mother...who was pregnant with who would've been my younger sibling, when I was only seven so, I've kinda had to deal with grief for most of my life,” she explained completely calm.
I frowned, “I'm sorry, Allison.”
“It's okay, like I said, it gets easier with time,” she assured me, giving me that wonderful smile that actually gave me some sort of hope for myself.
I smiled back, but it was immediately washed away by my thoughts of Jimmy. “I think I'm just gonna stay up for the rest of the night...I'm not gonna be able to fall back to sleep. You can go back to sleep. I'll be fine.”
She shook her head, “Nah, I'll stay up with you, Bri.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow.
She nodded, “Of course. How about we watch some TV? That'll get your mind off of things, right?”
I nodded and grabbed the remote that was resting on the nightstand. I turned on the TV and Jackass 2 was starting on Comedy Central. “You wanna watch this?”
“Sure, I love Jackass,” she told me.
I put down the remote and sat up in bed, my legs stretched out. Allison wrapped an arm around me and rested her head on my chest, and I draped my arm over her. She got comfortable and watched the movie with me, a cute, soft laugh coming from her every now and then.
I'm enjoying having Allison here with me. She's wonderful company, and she's here for me. Honestly, I really like her. I hope she'll stay more often.
Once the movie ended, it was 6am, and she had slowly fallen to sleep, relaxed on me. I stayed awake, staying still while watching random crap on TV, careful not to move too much so I didn't wake her.
But of course, while coming across Fuse, the “Dear God” video was playing. Fuck. Before the tears could start pouring, I turned the TV off and directed all of my attention to Allison's calm, steady breathing and the feeling of her heart beating. It kept me sane so my thoughts didn't drive me crazy.
I sat up and all I could say was, “Nightmare.”
“Oh, was it about...?” she trailed off, not about to say “Jimmy's death” in front of me.
I nodded, tears immediately escaping my eyes. “Fuck...this has been happening almost every night.”
She embraced me tightly, “It's okay, Bri. Everything is gonna be alright.”
“How do you know?” I inquired, looking into her eyes.
She told me, “I just do, okay? It won't be this hard to deal with forever. I know it may seem like that right now, but believe me...it won't.”
I questioned, “Have you gone through something like this before?”
“Well...I...I lost my mother...who was pregnant with who would've been my younger sibling, when I was only seven so, I've kinda had to deal with grief for most of my life,” she explained completely calm.
I frowned, “I'm sorry, Allison.”
“It's okay, like I said, it gets easier with time,” she assured me, giving me that wonderful smile that actually gave me some sort of hope for myself.
I smiled back, but it was immediately washed away by my thoughts of Jimmy. “I think I'm just gonna stay up for the rest of the night...I'm not gonna be able to fall back to sleep. You can go back to sleep. I'll be fine.”
She shook her head, “Nah, I'll stay up with you, Bri.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow.
She nodded, “Of course. How about we watch some TV? That'll get your mind off of things, right?”
I nodded and grabbed the remote that was resting on the nightstand. I turned on the TV and Jackass 2 was starting on Comedy Central. “You wanna watch this?”
“Sure, I love Jackass,” she told me.
I put down the remote and sat up in bed, my legs stretched out. Allison wrapped an arm around me and rested her head on my chest, and I draped my arm over her. She got comfortable and watched the movie with me, a cute, soft laugh coming from her every now and then.
I'm enjoying having Allison here with me. She's wonderful company, and she's here for me. Honestly, I really like her. I hope she'll stay more often.
Once the movie ended, it was 6am, and she had slowly fallen to sleep, relaxed on me. I stayed awake, staying still while watching random crap on TV, careful not to move too much so I didn't wake her.
But of course, while coming across Fuse, the “Dear God” video was playing. Fuck. Before the tears could start pouring, I turned the TV off and directed all of my attention to Allison's calm, steady breathing and the feeling of her heart beating. It kept me sane so my thoughts didn't drive me crazy.
♠ ♠ ♠
It's been a while, but school has started, so that's my only excuse.I can't promise you when the next update will be out, but I'll be more likely to write on the weekends, so yeah.
Hope you all enjoyed :D
I'd like to know what you all are thinking of it!