Status: Occasionally updated. Not too often.
I Can Use Some Guiding Light
If You Hear Me, Let Me Know
(January 2, 2010)
I sat at the foot of my bed, my hands clasped and my head bowed. Hopefully I can get some closure.
“Um, hey, Jimmy. Man, I fucking miss you so much. We all do. I...I don't understand why you had to leave us. Too many people cared about you for you to have left. You're an amazing person, Jim. You were fucking magical. I seriously have every memory we have together playing through my mind, and not a single one has repeated itself. We have way too many memories to count, dude. Best fucking friends.
“Everyone's kind of really depressed right now...we can't stop thinking about you. You had an impact on every single person who knew you's life. It's amazing, really. We know all of the fans are hurting just as bad. Every person who knew who you were really wishes you didn't have to go... Hell, I don't think you had to go. You just did. Without a real reason.
“Did you have a reason? Does whoever took you away from us have a reason? Were you ready to go? Is that what you meant by that song? Please tell me you didn't. We really wish that you were here. It's not the same. Life has become pretty dull without you here with us. You always put a smile on our faces...you always had some crazy idea that would make everyday exciting...
“I still think this can't be real. I wish this had never happened. Why couldn't you have stayed with us one more day? This didn't have to happen, Jimmy. You could still be here. With us. With your best friends. With your brothers. With the love of your life. You didn't have to leave us behind.
“I don't know if I'll be able to carry on life without you here. Did you not have a reason to stay? Because you really did... you had us... and now you're gone. Couldn't you have stuck around another day?
“I have so many questions I need answered. I have so much to say to you. And you're gone. I just really hope you're listening to me now... If you hear me, can you let me know somehow?”
I stayed silent, hoping for something. I received nothing.
“Fuck it, I'm going to bed.”
I guess I'll never know.
I sat at the foot of my bed, my hands clasped and my head bowed. Hopefully I can get some closure.
“Um, hey, Jimmy. Man, I fucking miss you so much. We all do. I...I don't understand why you had to leave us. Too many people cared about you for you to have left. You're an amazing person, Jim. You were fucking magical. I seriously have every memory we have together playing through my mind, and not a single one has repeated itself. We have way too many memories to count, dude. Best fucking friends.
“Everyone's kind of really depressed right now...we can't stop thinking about you. You had an impact on every single person who knew you's life. It's amazing, really. We know all of the fans are hurting just as bad. Every person who knew who you were really wishes you didn't have to go... Hell, I don't think you had to go. You just did. Without a real reason.
“Did you have a reason? Does whoever took you away from us have a reason? Were you ready to go? Is that what you meant by that song? Please tell me you didn't. We really wish that you were here. It's not the same. Life has become pretty dull without you here with us. You always put a smile on our faces...you always had some crazy idea that would make everyday exciting...
“I still think this can't be real. I wish this had never happened. Why couldn't you have stayed with us one more day? This didn't have to happen, Jimmy. You could still be here. With us. With your best friends. With your brothers. With the love of your life. You didn't have to leave us behind.
“I don't know if I'll be able to carry on life without you here. Did you not have a reason to stay? Because you really did... you had us... and now you're gone. Couldn't you have stuck around another day?
“I have so many questions I need answered. I have so much to say to you. And you're gone. I just really hope you're listening to me now... If you hear me, can you let me know somehow?”
I stayed silent, hoping for something. I received nothing.
“Fuck it, I'm going to bed.”
I guess I'll never know.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yes, these have been shorter than the first. But the next ones get to the same length as the first chapter.