Band-Aids

Carrigan and Daniel sat securely in the back seat of Alex’s truck, talking away. Daniel was more babbling nonsense, but Carrigan was animatedly chatting with Alex. She asked him questions about anything and everything that popped into her head.

Why is your shirt blue? Why are driving on a street? Why do you have papers on the floor? Are you going to play with us? Can we play dolls? Do you have any dolls? Why is it snowing? Can you live with us? Is it cold outside? Why is your car red? Do you like toast?

Alex happily answered every question Carrigan threw at him, enjoying the mind of four year old that he didn’t experience that often. His mind wasn’t fully focused on the two kids in the back seat however. Alex was growing nervous for the night ahead. Picking up the kids was easy enough and they were elated to see Alex instead of Jenny at daycare. They listened well and weren’t being badly behaved. It was surprising to Alex at how easily Carrigan and Daniel transitioned and accepted Alex. Alex thought kids usually had separation problems and didn’t adjust smoothly. Not Jenny’s kids.

By the way Jenny talked on the phone early, she made it seem like something was going to go wrong. Alex understood how fear-provoking something like this could be, but he throught he could handle it. He reviewed Jenny’s instructions over and over and over in his head as to not forget anything. The directions to the Moffat’s house were implanted in his mind. He didn’t have any car seats for the kids, but he was driving twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. Nothing was going to go wrong, Alex promised himself.

Lifting Daniel off the tall seat in the cab, Alex held Daniel on his hip, grabbed the bags and unbuckled Carrigan. He already struggled with not having enough hands to do everything; closing the door with his foot, holding the keys between his teeth. Carrigan had run to the door once Alex helped her down, causing him to feel scattered. The kids were energetic and Alex was in for a handful.

“We’re home!” Alex said cheerily after getting the front door unlocked with the spare key. Carrigan squealed, threw her shoes in the air and ran to a different room to dig into toys.

Alex looked at the ground of the doorway. It was already a mess. Coats, hats, mittens, shoes and bags were thrown everywhere by the kids. There was definitely an element of attentiveness that he was going to learn by the end of the night.

Finally stepping deeper into the house, Alex took it all in. No doors, just archways into the kitchen, dining room and living room. Each wall in the house complimented each other with light, fresh pastel colors and white décor.

The house was small and compact, made for one or two people, but Jenny had made it very homey. Alex wasn’t sure if it was because of all the kid’s toys and items scattered around, but he didn’t feel intimidated like he thought he would. The house was just like he remembered it from the last time he was there. Without Jenny with him though, he felt a little awkward and out of place.

“I know all of the ABC’s in the alphabet,” Carrigan said proudly when Alex sat down beside the kids.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I can!” Carrigan protested back, not understanding the concept of sarcasm at age four.

Alex smiled, “Well how about you show me then.”

“A, B, C, D, E—hey! You’re not supposed to stack the bricks like that, Alex!” She scooted over to Daniel and Alex, where they were trying to construct something out of the multi-colored toys. “We always have the house be blue. It can’t be yellow.” She smacked over the stack of blocks Alex had built. “See? Look,” Carrigan demanded. She snatched the red bricks out of Daniel’s hand and gave one to Alex and used the others for herself. “You go like that! You just stack them. Stack it with red. Not yellow. It’s really easy, see? You just stack them.”

Alex chuckled at the antics, but followed the little girl’s instructions; she was very persistent.

“Carrigan, what’s this?” Alex asked curiously. With Daniel in his lap, he had dug through the toy box and pulled out a plastic cup with tape over the top of it.

“Oh!” She ran over to them and took it from Alex and started to shake it. Beans and rice started to make a loud noise. “It’s a shaker. It’s for our band!”

“You have a band?

“Yeah. Wanna be in it?!” Without letting him answer, Carrigan started to dig around in the giant toy box for an instrument for Alex. “Daniel is always plays drums. I am the shaker…” She shook the beans again. “And you can be….tambelrine.”

“The tambourine? Awesome!” Alex found the cheap tambourine and rattled it in the air. “What does Jenny usually play?”

“Oh she is the kazoo! And the dancer!”

“Or really?” Alex laughed as he pictured Jenny dancing with the kids. “Have you guys ever done a parade?”

“What’s that?”

Alex stood up and helped Daniel stand and balance as well. “It’s when we stand in a line…” He aided in organizing the three of them. “And march. Can you march?” He lifted his legs to demonstrate and the two kids copied him, gleefully. “And then we march around and play our instruments. Let’s go!”

Alex led them through rooms in the house, shaking his tambourine. Daniel had trouble walking and drumming, so he mostly just stumbled along, but Carrigan danced, jumped and squealed as she played her shaker. She soon went to the front to lead the parade around the house. They played a horribly loud, horribly off beat song (if it could be called a song) and marched around the house until Daniel got tired of walking.

Alex and Daniel resorted to sitting in the middle of the hallway, playing their instruments while Carrigan continued to march around and be her own parade, which eventually ended up in her performing dance routines for the boys.

Carrigan had life in her, Alex realized. It made him happy. He was often happy, but this felt different. He usually felt a rush of excitement when he heard his own words being sung back to him by hundreds of people every night. His band members and crew were like a huge family and made him happy and cheerful. Alex always had good times, good laughs with everyone and loved doing what he did. But this happiness was different. It was more joyous. Even though half of his job he spent goofing around and partying, this made him feel young. A weight that Alex wasn’t aware of having in his chest, felt lifted and made him feel free and blissful. He liked the feeling Carrigan and Daniel gave him. He never thought kids would bring out something in him, but they did. Alex concluded, even though hanging out with a two and four year old was not something he usually thought himself doing, he would do it again in a heartbeat.

Having made a krafty (pun intended), macaroni dinner for the two, Carrigan was in her booster seat and Daniel was secure in his highchair. Though the kids could talk enough to fill silence, Alex thought listening to music would be fun. He wasn’t sure if Jenny was into music or not, but Alex was, and he figured the kids would enjoy it.

Finally getting the speakers to work, Alex couldn’t find any music to put in the stereo. Even if Jenny wasn’t a huge fan, everyone ought to have at least one CD, right? He searched the shelves in the living room and the kitchen. He felt a little weird going through Jenny’s things. Even though he was trustworthy, Alex didn’t feel like he should have been going through someone else’s things, especially when the person wasn’t there.

Alex wandered back to the living room, keeping an ear open to listen to the kids for trouble. He opened the doors of cupboards, feeling even more invasive. The first cupboard was full of books and the second games. When he opened the third, Alex came across scrapbooks.

Again, Alex knew he shouldn’t have dug deeper, but being nosy was part of nature and he took out the first picture book. He flipped through the old cream book that was falling apart. He discovered it was Jenny in the hospital after she was born. With a new born baby picture, the caption under it read: May 4, 1987, Jennifer Ann Moffat.

Not wanting to spend too long looking through the books, Alex flipped through it quickly, seeing random pictures of Jenny growing up. A couple were of her baking cookies with her mom, some of her and an older boy, which he assumed to be a brother, playing outside and others as she dressed up in old clothes. When a picture caught Alex’s eyes, he looked intently at it. Jenny’s eyes had always been mismatched like they were now, he noticed.

The deeper Alex got in the book, he started to slow down. He looked at every picture of Jenny when she was older. He felt the tiniest pang of jealousy; almost every picture was of Jenny and a boy. Alex could tell by previous pictures that it wasn’t Jenny’s older brother. They were both about the same age, from what it looked like, thirteen or fourteen.

There were school dances, pictures at the beach and even family portraits with the boy in it. Alex could tell Jenny had had a serious relationship with the boy. One in particular caught Alex’s eye. They were outside in the summer and he was on one knee in front Jenny. He held her hand, both of them smiling like idiots. Alex knew he wasn’t actually proposing; they looked about sixteen or seventeen. However, he still couldn’t help but wonder.

Jenny was young now for someone with a four year old. By calculating from her date of birth, Jenny was around 21, so did she get married in high school? She told him Carrigan and Daniel’s dad left them so by marrying young, maybe they just weren’t ready?

By the baby pictures of Jenny, her mom looked young too. Maybe Jenny followed in her mom’s footsteps and married out of high school. That would put Carrigan at the right age and it made Jenny’s living situation make sense, as well as the pictures of her long-term boyfriend.

The whole situation confused Alex. He put it back on the shelf with the plan of shutting the cupboard and checking on Carrigan and Daniel, but another book caught his eye. “Carrigan” was printed on the spine with colorful, funky letters. With curiosity, Alex pulled it out and turned to the first page. There was a picture of new born Carrigan in the hospital but Alex’s eyes immediately recognized Jenny’s smile out the of all eight pictures on the page.

It was a younger Jenny, sitting in the guest chair, holding newly born Carrigan. Jenny was so young. Alex stared in awe; he just couldn’t believe it. When he was that age, he had just graduated and drove around in a shitty van. He fucked around and was still maturing into who he was now. He had still considered himself a child. At that age Alex hadn’t ever thought of seriously settling down and starting a family. Even now, Alex didn’t feel sure of what he wanted in life.

Not bothering to read captions, Alex flipped through the small book quickly, but there wasn’t much to look at. After about a year and a half to two years old, the pictures were few and finally stopped. It made sense though, that’s when Daniel would have been born. Alex looked for a book of Daniel but his search was ended early after hearing something from the kitchen.

“What are you two doing?” Alex said suspiciously as he entered the kitchen. “Why aren’t you eating your macaroni?”

“Icky!” Daniel whined.

“I thought kids loved macaroni? Plus, I’m really good at making it!”

Finally Alex got them to eat something. He was sure Jenny didn’t go through the whole fridge, offering them everything, but Alex didn’t have the authority. They settled for cut up apples dipped in peanut butter. How simple.

The rest of the night, the three played endlessly. Carrigan and Daniel absolutely adored Alex. Not only did he think of new games to play that they weren’t familiar with, he was so energetic and it made the kids laugh. Alex enjoyed it too, more than he expected. He thought back to earlier when Jack begged Alex to come. Alex knew it wasn’t a good idea though; he was lucky enough that Jenny allowed this. She freaked out on the phone and was probably still unsettled about Alex being in her house alone with her kids.

Alex knew it too and was determined to show he was worthy. Sticking to her strict instructions, he directed the kids to get pajamas on. As Alex followed the kids as they slowly crawled and hobbled up the steps, he felt wrong again. He was walking up into the Moffat’s personal space. Not that the kitchen or living room wasn’t, but these were their bedrooms. Jenny’s bedroom.

Alex struggled with Daniel’s toothbrush, just like he struggled with his pajamas, just like he struggled with dinner. He didn’t feel cut out for the job. Alex was great with kids and liked Carrigan and Daniel, but he wasn’t talented at all with the technical things like dressing them, brushing their teeth, picking up after them and helping them eat. When he tried, things just got messy.

Luckily, a door open and shut. “Carrigan? Daniel?” Jenny’s voice floats through the door.

In the two second silence of no reply, Jenny’s insides twisted into knots and she felt like she was going to throw up and pass out. A tidal wave of relief came though after she heard two kids squeal in excitement. Soon after, Carrigan’s tiny head was peering down the stairs at Jenny.

“Carrigan, careful by the stairs,” Alex warned urgently, coming out of the bathroom to stop her. With a toothbrush in one hand, a pair of pajamas in the other, his sweatshirt falling off one shoulder and Daniel grabbing on to his lower leg, Alex graced Jenny with his appearance.

She smiled at how ridiculously endearing he looked. His purposefully messy hair was clearly messed up more than usual and his body looked exhausted, but when he saw Jenny looking up him, his worn eyes brightened.

“Wow, they sucked you into parenthood,” she joked, jogging up the stairs two at a time and pulling her kids into a tight hug.

Alex let Jenny have the liberty of putting her kids to bed and waited down in the kitchen for her to be done. Looking around in the kitchen, he noticed the mess and tried to help with the dishes.

“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen those two that happy before.” Alex jumped at the sound of Jenny’s sweet voice.

Alex smiled. “Really?”

“Oh my gosh, yes. They would not stop talking about you! They told me everything you guys did. It’s too bad I missed it,” Jenny joked.

“It was fun actually,” Alex agreed, shutting the dishwasher and walking over to the counter where Jenny was leaning.

Her face turned serious and she studied Alex. She couldn’t believe he had done so well with Carrigan and Daniel. She had seen how well the kids interacted with him and how great they got along, but she would have never thought he could have handled it. He just didn’t look like someone who would. “Alex, I don’t even know how I can start to thank you. Work was horrible and I don’t know what I would have done if I wouldn’t have called you. Usually I have my friend, Nora, help me out, but she has classes in the evenings now and her boyfriend is out of town. You saved my ass,” she exaggerated.

“Jenny, don’t even worry about it! I loved it. I didn’t think I would actually enjoy it this much.” Jenny nodded. She didn’t know anything about Alex. His background and reputation was not known to Jenny, making her skeptical. “And honestly, you seem busy with the whole flower business, so if you ever need help, call me up. I told you before that I’m a musician, so when I’m not on tour I’m pretty much free.”

Alex knew he was coming strong, but he didn’t care. If watching Carrigan and Daniel was the only way Alex would be able to see Jenny, he would do it. The mystery was still in the air when he was around her. After looking at the scrapbooks, it only increased the inquiry Alex had about the girl with the mismatched eyes.

Jenny appreciated the offer and seriously took his suggestion to heart, but she couldn’t help but question why Alex was so obsessed with helping her. Alex made her laugh. A lot. Jenny didn’t remember laughing as much as she did that night with Alex about the most random things. He had a unique sense of humor she hadn’t experienced before. Maybe it was just the little chance of romance he presented, not that she would act on it, but she hadn’t had that in a while.

They chatted and laughed for a while together, Alex bringing a blush to Jenny’s cheeks a couple times and Jenny making Alex’s heart flutter once or twice at certain comments.

“Um, I would love to keep talking with you, Alex,” Jenny said with all truth, “but I have to get up early tomorrow again.” He nodded and realized she had probably been in her clothes for over fifteen hours. Her blonde hair was a little more disheveled than it was before and she did look worn.

“Right. Sorry for keeping you up,” Alex said sincerely. They both walked to the front door where Alex’s shoes and jacket were.

“Don’t worry about.” After Jenny spoke, Alex started to walk out the door. “Oh! Wait!” Alex turned around, happy for another excuse for him to stay in Jenny’s presence longer. She dug around in her pocket for something and when Alex saw green paper in her hand, he quickly stopped her hand from pulling it out any further.

“Jenny! I do not need money for taking care of a couple kids for a night. It was no biggie.”

“Alex, I insist. I can’t thank you enough,” she insisted, shoving the money at him.

“Consider it a favor. From a friend,” he shrugged lightly, seeming nonchalant, but inside, he was nervous for her reply to his last comment. Jenny looked at him, as if she was silently interrogating him and wondering why he wouldn’t want money. Alex stared back, intrigued with her eyes. “Goodnight, Jenny.”

“Um right…” Jenny hesitated, sad to see him go. “Drive safe, and thanks again—”

Alex spun around on his heels and blurted out, “Can I take you out to lunch Sunday?”

Jenny stood surprised for a second, but answered, “L-Like, a date?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

She paused again to think about it. She hadn’t been asked on a date, let alone gone on a date in years.

“I-I’m sorry. Was that too bold? I come on strong…” Alex hit himself for being so forward. He might have just wrecked the relationship he just built with her. But he was afraid he might never see her again, and he couldn’t have that.

A smile crept on her lips shyly, “No, I would love it.”

“Okay,” he smiled. “Um, can I call you tomorrow maybe? And we can talk about details?”

“That’d be great.” When saying goodbye, Alex didn’t hesitate pulling Jenny into a hug like he had last time. Hugging, being shy about everything seemed so high school to him, but it was at least something.

He hugged her more affectionately and Jenny let her lips linger probably a little too close than what was considered a friendly distance.

“I’ll see you later, Jens,” he smiled crookedly.

Suddenly flustered, Jenny responded with unfamiliar butterflies that had been missing in her stomach for a while. “N-Night, Alex.” Jenny closed the door and leaned up against it, her heart racing ten times faster than normal. Alex got Jenny nervous, a feeling she hadn’t felt since high school.