Absolutely Ruined

I woke up the next morning still a complete wreck from what I learned yesterday. Maybe talking to Matt really will help me out, but then again what if it doesn't. Either way I need to talk to someone. Why not him of all people? He's the only other person I've trusted with my biggest secrets, not even Cae knows. Even if Matt was mad at me for a while at first, but in the end we were both happy I told him.

My shower this morning wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped it would be. I was in there for a good hour too. It's definitely not good when you can't even distract yourself for a moment. I need to get out of this house already. I feel like I'm suffocating with the knowledge that I don't really belong here.

"Sweet Pea, what's wrong? Where you going in a rush? It's almost noon. Lunch is going to be done soon." Mom said as I walked downstairs. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her.
"Nothing, I'm going to see Matt." I said coldly.
"Alright sweet pea. Don't be too long. We're having company over later, and we need to talk to you about something important." She replied casually. How can she just go on like she wasn't just talking about me being adopted yesterday?
"Okay." I muttered, walking out the door into the garage. I got in my car and just sat there for a minute.

I was choking back tears already as I was pulling out of our driveway. What's wrong with me today? I'm never this emotional. I need to fucking pull it together. If I really am adopted then I'm going to have to deal with it on my own. It's not like anyone else is going to understand what I'm going through. I'm just a jumble of confusion and rage right now.

The drive to Matt's seemed faster than usual. Maybe just because I was dreading what might happen. I slowly walked from the driveway to Matt's door. I was beginning to regret coming here. What if he lied to me? I knocked softly three times. Hoping no one would be home, and I could just leave disappointed. I had no such luck though. There were two of three cars in the driveway which definitely meant that either Matt or one of his friends were home.

I heard loudly footsteps running down the stairs. Matt answered the door, looking like he just woke up.
"I'm adopted?" I said quietly, more of a question than anything. Matt tensed up hearing the words escape my mouth.
"Shit, you weren't supposed to find out." Matt muttered.
"You knew." I said, tears already leaking from my eyes.
"Yes, of course I knew Izzy. I'm sorry." Matt struggled to get out.

I didn't even want to stay and talk to him anymore. I just walked away crying harder than ever in my life, and got back in my car. Matt tried calling out for me, but I just ignored him. So much for coming to him for advice on this whole situation. He knew the whole time, and didn't even tell me. This was the biggest piece of information of my life, and they were all scheming together to hide it from me forever. Some family I have.

I backed out of his driveway with only one place in mind of where to go. I needed something to distract me, and this was the only way I knew how. Who cares if I'd come to regret it late. I can't deal with my shit life anymore. I need to go somewhere quiet to think alone.