This Love Will Be Our Downfall

Three weeks later everyone thing seemed to be getting on track in everyone’s life and it was actually kind of nice. You know isn’t nice though? A very sore back and a moving baby.

I won’t lie when I first felt the baby move I freaked out. I didn’t know what that feeling was or why it was happening. I rushed to Patrick in the the front room, and he seemed to know what it was. I got use to the feeling a little bit, and then as the weeks went on the stronger the kicking.

Patrick was widely amused with the kicking, and he always would put his hand on my stomach when the baby would kick. It was actually kind of cute.

However, Patrick was on long road trip and wasn’t gonna be back for a few days. So I had a lot of free time and no one to hang out with, because Katey still had a job.

“How is everything going at home?” Patrick asked me on the phone.

“Pretty good, the baby keeps kicking up a storm, my back is killing, and now I started to crave food.” I said.

“What do you want to eat pickles and ice cream?” Patrick joked.

“No I really just want to stuff my face with chips, chocolate, and oh my god what I would do to have a deep fried hot dog.” I said.

“Eurotrash that sounds disgusting.” Patrick said.

“Oh my god no Patrick it is seriously the best tasting thing in the world. I want one so bad. I think I might drive to go get one. I want one so bad. Oh my gosh I think I know where I’m getting dinner.” I said.

“God, don’t jizz in your pants now just thinking about it.” Patrick laughed.

“Fuck you, the only way I can describe the feeling of want thing this food is the way you couldn’t have sex for like five weeks when I hurt myself. The crave and desire is unbearable is it not?” I said.

“Babe, I don’t think it is THAT bad.” He said.

“Oh trust me it is.” I said.

“You crazy Polack.” Patrick said laughing. “When do we get to find out what the baby is by the way.”

“Tomorrow. Can you do tomorrow at 3?” I asked him. “‘Cos ya know Manwhore, I promised that wouldn’t find out what the baby is until you come with me, and if that was never I guess we’ll just have to wait until they are born to find out.”

“I can totally do that. I don’t have practice or a game tomorrow. So we get the day off. We can also go out to eat too if you want.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“We’ll I gotta go to team dinner, be careful if you drive the roads aren’t that great right now.” Patrick said.

“I will. I’ve been driving your Tahoe, so it is safer.” I said.

“Okay good.” Patrick said. “I’ll see later tonight. Seabs and I will come over after we get off the plane.”

“Okie dokie.” I smiled.

“I love you.” Patrick said.

“I love you too. Go kick some ass, Manwhore.”

“Stay trashy.” Patrick laughed. We hung up, and then in came Katey from work.

“Get in the car loser we going to get deep fried hot dogs on the south side.” I said going to get my coat on and boots.

“EW WHAT?!” Katey said.

“Deep fried hot dogs WE ARE GOING TO GET SOME! The baby is telling me we want some hot dogs that fried to crisp in this glorious thing called grease. If I’m getting fat I mind as well get fat the American way.” I said grabbing the car keys.

“You have mental problems.” Katey said opening the door not even getting her boots or coat off.

“No I have a growing baby inside of me that is fucking up my hormones and making me crave weird shit.” I said. “OH MY BEST IDEA EVER! WE GOIN TO THE POLISH SUBURBS! I’m going grocery shopping for junk food. MILKA BARS, KINDER CHOCOLATE, AND OH MY GOD flavoured mineral water!!! Oh my god I’m so excited.” I said grabbing my wallet.

“You crazy Polack.” My best friend said to me. I drove to the suburbs that night, and went crazy in a grocery store. “This isn’t even in English!” Katey said looking at the candy bar I threw in the cart.

“It is in Polish. Milka like yeah” I said throwing more candy in the cart.

“Patrick is gonna kill you if he find out you are buying so much junk food.” Katey said.

“He eats just as much junk food as I do. He’ll eat it too. Americans don’t know good chocolate if it hit them in the face.” I said grabbing about five chocolate bars and throwing them in.

“You have twenty chocolate bars!”

“Stocking up yo!” I said pushing the cart and grabbing whatever I wanted. I felt the baby kicking like crazy, they were hungry. “I promise to be out of here in like fifteen minutes baby. I know you are hungry, and want deep fried hot dogs, but wait a second jeeze.” I said pushing the cart a little more. Katey just shook her head.

“What do you think it is? Mothers always have that feeling it is gonna be something.” Katey asked me.

“I don’t know. Everyone tends to think I’m gonna have a girl, but I don’t know what it could be.” I said. “I know Patrick secretly wants a boy.”

“What guy doesn’t want a boy?” Katey laughed.

“My dad wanted a girl.”

“Bad choice.” We just started to bust out laughing.

“Very funny.”

“If you get a boy you can totally have another Patrick Kane in the NHL!” Katey joked.

“Do you want me to have a life, and who said we were gonna name him Patrick?”

“Oh Papa Kane and Patrick were both pushing it. You are gonna name him Patrick, because we all know we won’t name your son Igor.”

“Igor is more Russian than Polish doof.” I pushed the cart to the checkout.

“Patrick wait what is his middle name?” Katey asked me.

“Patrick Timothy Kane Jr.” I said.

“Awwww, Patrick Timothy Kane the third. Fancy for you Eurotrash.” Katey joked. I just shook my head. “What if it is a girl? Does she get a pretty Polish name?”

“Patrick already stated that her name would be Madison.”

“Madhouse on Madison?” Katey said.

“He explained why he wanted it to be Madison. He said something like if it wasn’t for hockey he wouldn’t have found me, and finding me was one the best things to happen to him. Then he said something about her name being Madison, because she would be born almost a year from when he won the Stanley Cup.”

“Why don’t you name him Stanley if it is a boy?”

“Haha no. No Stanley Kane? Doesn’t sound right.”

“Stan Kane?”

“Never.” I said putting things on the conveyor belt. We waited for everything to be rung up.

“Your total is 140.45” the girl said. I slid my credit card and signed my name. We left and got some deep fried hot dogs at hot dog place, and I was in heaven while eating.

“God damn this better than sex.” I said biting into the hot dog and letting the sweet taste of grease and hot dog feel like it was melting in my mouth.

“Dear god, Lizzie this are so gross.” Katey said.

“Oh my gosh this is so god.” I said taking deep breath and closing my eyes.

“If only Patrick was here to witness his girlfriend have a foodgasm and say this food was better than sex.” Katey said.

“He’d get over it.” I said stuff my face with food.

“Patrick Kane being told this hot dog is better than his sex, that is an insult.” Katey said.

“He can’t be that bad at sex if it took him only on time to get me pregnant.” I said looking at my stomach.

“Or really bad at it. You know guys usually know when it is time to get the fuck out. Instead he didn’t and well look at you now.” Katey laughed. I just started to die of laughter.

“Good point, very good point.” I said smiling. I ate my hot dog and got three for the road. Then on top of that I got some butter garlic fries. I was having too much fun.

When we got home, my foodgasm turned into a food coma. I passed out on the couch for a few hours, and woke up starving. It was like one in the morning. I went to go grab another hot dog and as I was eating I heard people come into the front door. I ignored it, and kept eating. I was so hungry.

“Oh my god you lard ass.” I heard Katey say looking at me.

“Hey now.” I heard Patrick’s voice.

“Patrick your girlfriend is crazy. We drove an hour away to go get European chocolate and then some other random shit, and then we got her deep fried dog hot dogs. She had a foodgasm and then came home and passed out on the couch. Now she is eating again.”

“Oh my god perfect idea!” I said getting excited I grabbed a chocolate bar, and then the hot dog and put chocolate between the bun.

“OH GOD NO ELIZABETH DON’T DO THAT!” I heard Patrick say looking at me. I took a bite and it was heaven. You know the heaven where you have to lean back in your chair, roll your eyes to the back of your head, and take a deep breath. It was so just too good for words.

“I’m gonna laugh when she gets sick from eating too much.” Brent said.

“Her stomach is made of steel.” Katey said. Patrick came over to give me a kiss. I swallowed my food, and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“You reek of garlic, greasy, and chocolate. I love you babe.” he said smiling.

“I love you too, even if this baby is gonna make me a sow.”

“You’ll be my favourite sow.” Patrick said grabbing some of my chocolate and taking a bite of it. His mouth like dropped. “This... It is like... So.. Oh my god... Good.” He said looking at it.

“I KNOW RIGHT!” I said getting excited. “This is why I bought like fifty bars.”

“Oh you freak.” Patrick said eating some of the chocolate.

“Where the fuck did Katey and Brent go?” I asked looking for them. Then I heard a pound against a wall.

“Those gross mother fuckers. We are here!” I said getting up and to go slam on their door. “NO FUCKING SEX I AM HOME YOU WANKERS I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT SHIT!”

“Fuck you Lizzie.” Katey said.

“NO ONE IS GETTING LUCKY TONIGHT. NOT EVEN PATRICK.” I said yelling through the door. “Go do the nasty at his house. This is a no sex zone!” I said.

That night everyone went to sleep pretty early. Thank god.

The next day I had the doctor and lunch with Patrick so I was happy. I thoroughly enjoy going out to lunch with Patrick all the time. “So we gotta talk about something today.” Patrick said.

“Uh oh what might that be?” I asked him.

“Nothing bad, it is more so with the baby planning thing.” he said.

“Oh okay.” I said feeling better.

“What do you think about us moving?” Patrick asked me.

“Us...moving?” I said thrown off.

“yeah US, I was thinking because of the baby and all we won’t be able to live in either of our condos they are small for a family. So I can buy a house somewhere with a yard they can play in, and you know enjoy being a little kid. Let’s face it Lizzie a condo in the ritzy part of town is no place to have a family. We can move up to the north side some more where we can raise a family of our own.” Patrick said holding my hand. I knew how much family meant to him. I knew how much he wanted this baby to live a normal life, like Patrick did when he was little. I knew Patrick meant well with all of this, but it was kind of scary to me. I never wanted to doubt my relationship with my boyfriend. In fact, if I had it my way I’d marry Patrick given the chance, but that isn’t now. Right now I was twenty. I was almost five months pregnant. I was in love with person that got me pregnant, and felt safe were I was at right now. I didn’t know if I could take the plunge on this one. It was almost like a forever thing...

“A family...” I said looking down at my stomach. I never really has something that felt like a family before.

“Yeah, a family. The one where we all live together, and don’t fight like yours did. We won’t make the same mistakes your family did.”Patrick said. I just looked at him, and I felt the baby kicking up a storm out of nowhere. Maybe that was sign, that I needed to do this.

“We can move.” I said putting one of my hands on my stomach feeling the little movements. It was kind of hurting my back all this movement.

After our lunch and talking about moving, we went the doctor to go find out what the baby was. It was kind of exciting. I knew Patrick was excited. Then again Patrick was always amused by ultrasounds in general or their heartbeat. From the way Patrick is about everything you kind of gave the vibe that he was gonna be an awesome dad. I thanked god for that.

“And the is your baby.” The person said doing the ultrasound. She pointed to the baby moving around a lot. “It looks like we woke them up or something.” She joked. She moved the thing around my stomach and pressed some buttons. “Did you want to find out what they finally are Miss Czech?” The woman asked me.

“Yeah. I think it has been killing the both of us to know.” I said looking at screen. She let out a laugh and started to move the thing around a little more. It took her good five minutes.

“There you go.” She said. “There is their leg, then the other leg, and the well...” She said smiling.

It was a boy. I looked over to my boyfriend who had that Patrick Kane smile that just made you melt to the ground. I knew he was doing a happy dance in his head, and then when we got into the safety to his car and/or one of our condos he was gonna do a happy dance and all fuck yeah.

Let’s face it a boy I huge deal to Patrick. He was surrounded by sisters his whole life.

When we left the office we went to my condo, and that is when the excitement came in. Katey and Brent were waiting for us to get home.

“Well?” Katey said.

“I GET A SON!” Patrick said throwing up his arms in the air.

“YAY!” Katey said clapping. I smiled and looked at everyone that was beyond happy. It was amazing how one little baby could change the mood for everyone.

We all went out to dinner that night. Everyone was drinking wine, and I was drinking some water. It was very uneventful for me. When I went back to Patrick’s condo that night, finally changed into an old shit of his and pair of sweat pants, I snuggled next to him to go to bed. I learned I wasn’t as energetic as I use to be, but it was just something I was gonna have to get use too.

I never in the world thought five months ago I would be anywhere in here. You asked me five months what I would be doing right now, I would have said qualifying for some huge skating competition. I realised I did fuck up my one dream I had my whole life by keeping this baby. I realised that Iet a lot of people down when this all happened. However, my dreams now weren’t of a gold medal in the Sochi 2014 Olympics or anything to do with ice skates.

I think my dreams shifted to I wanted a real family. One that didn’t go away after eighteen years. Ones where someone wasn’t locked away in a rink when I should have been having fun being a little kid. One where everyone loved each other, and didn’t blame problems on the kids.

That was the dream I wanted now. I think I could live without a gold medal in my life.