Well It's Love, Make It Hurt

Gerard’s POV

I walked inside the house, Mikey right behind me. He closed the door as I made my way to the kitchen, and down to my room. No one was home yet, and I was thankful for that. I wasn’t looking forward to dinner time though. Mom would no doubt ask about our day, Mikey would tell her about Frank, and then she’d ask me about it.

There’s nothing wrong with that really, except every time I speak and my father is present, he either yells some sort of insult at me and leaves the room suddenly.

My mom has no idea why he does this. She has no idea why my father ignores me most of the time, and when he doesn’t he’s insulting me. She's also oblivious to the fact that he hits me whenever there's no one else home. I wonder how she would react if she knew.

*Flashback*
‘I’ll tell him, he’s always said I could tell him anything, right?’ I thought to myself. I was sitting on my bed in the basement. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. ‘Mikey found out for himself, and was okay with it.’ I kept trying to make myself believe that he’d understand.

I’ve never spoken much with my father to tell the truth, so I had no idea why I was coming out to him first. I got up from my bed and up the steps to the door. I sighed as I opened it. I went straight for the living room, knowing my dad was watching the news as he did everyday.

I sat down next to him, and he looked at me briefly. His way of acknowledgement. I took another deep breath and looked at him.

“Um, dad… I have something really important to tell you” I said, waiting for him to look at me again. When he did I continued “I-I” Fuck, this is way harder than I thought. “I’m… I’m gay, dad.”

Wow, the look on his face told me everything I had to know. He wasn’t pleased, to make the understatement of the century. I got up from the couch, and was about to run to my room when he yelled something at me. I didn’t quite heard what he said, but I heard the tone he spoke with. It was deep disgust, and hatred.

He raised his hand…

*end of flashback*

I shut my eyes tightly, hoping for the memories to go away. Obviously that didn’t work.

I decided I’d skip dinner, avoid the whole issue. But mom would come and get me if I didn’t come up quickly.

But she can’t do anything if I’m already asleep. I thought. I went to the bathroom and took from the cabinet some sleeping pills. I smiled. These pills have been my escape for so long.

I took about twice the recommended dosage. This would knock out anyone for at least a day, but it was barely enough for me. I’d grown used to taking them, so normal dosage doesn’t work anymore.

I went back to my bed and took a sip of whatever drink I had there. Probably not the best idea, mixing sleeping pills with alcohol, but right now, I don’t care.