Hold up My Heart

The minute I pulled into the lot and turned off the ignition, I froze. I swear I could have exploded and gone into cataclysm, but my mind was too set on my needs and wants, that the only thing I could do was hop out of the car and carelessly walk into the Shack.

The scent of smoke was strong and almost knocked me out as I entered through the back. Surprisingly not a lot of people were here collecting their shit. I saw a few people that I'd run into before, they were currently shooting up some colored liquid. I chewed on my lip and considered trying it, but ignored the curiosity and headed to the back.

“Tristan?” I called as I walked around the messy room. Grimacing at the silence I called again and received no answer. “Dammit, Tristan where the fuck -”

“Hey now, no need to yell,” a voice chuckled. Quickly matching up the voice with the now visible body in front of me, I smirked at Dougie.

“Where is Tristan?” I asked, I was getting jumpy, I needed my fix.

Dougie sighed as he picked up a few boxes and piled them next to each other. “He's out, he hasn't been around for awhile; since the last time you came.”

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath. I wondered if I had possibly been at least part of the reason that he wasn't here.

Dougie sighed, “Ara you really got him good after you left. He got pissed and said he'd be back when he could. He looked awfully pale, but of course, he's always like that when he's overly ticked off.”

I nodded, putting my hands in my pocket while biting my bottom lip. “He hasn't called or anything?”

Dougie only shook his head and plopped down on the couch. I watched as he reached into boxes and pulled out small bags of different drugs – that much I could tell. He took a permanent marker and began to mark things on each individual bag.

Letting out a breath of air I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. “I'll try and call him,” I mumbled as my small fingers dialed his number. I listened as the ringing of the call felt longer and slower. When I got his voice mail I grumbled and waited for the beep. “Uh, hey, Tristan. I came to the Shack and was told that you haven't been around since the last time I saw you. I really hope you're okay, I'm sorry, honestly. So, call me back, or come to La Push and visit me, you're always welcome.”I sighed and grimaced, “Just, please don't be upset about this, we can talk this over - “ The sound of the beeping which signaled that my message was over, pissed me off.

“Yeah, all I've been getting was voice mail...” Dougie trailed as he wrote a name on another plastic baggy.

“Dammit,” I muttered, shutting my phone. “Listen, I just came here to get some stuff, you know where mine is?”

Nodding, Dougie reached into the box and pulled out a brown paper bag that was especially for me, seeing as it had my name on it. I grabbed the bag and looked inside.

“Nice,” I smirked once my eyes met with Dougie's. “Where'd you find this, man? This shit is beyond illegal,” I chuckled while closing the bag.

Shrugging, he leaned back against the couch and pulled out a joint. Lighting it up with ease he stuck it in his mouth and inhaled. “That's for me to know and you to never find out,” He played while blowing out smoke.

I rolled my eyes and found a spot next to Dougie. “Give me that,” I mumbled as I reached for the joint and pulled it to my lips. Just one round of inhaling and I could feel myself becoming more calm and relaxed.

“So what'd you do to Tristan to make him disappear?” Dougie asked with a small chuckle. I smiled at him jokingly, but inside I was unsure what I had exactly done.

I shrugged, “Hell if I would know,” I mumbled. This was my response. To everything. I couldn't let myself crack, I could look vulnerable and weak, it was against all I had built up. But in all honesty, I really was a bit worried about Tristan, I could hardly take in the fact that he'd been gone for almost two weeks, seeing as the last time I came was around then.

Coughing, Dougie sat up, “You should probably be going. I'm shutting down early tonight, seeing as, well, you know, Tristan isn't here.”

I frowned unknowingly, but nodded. Getting up I grabbed my bag and let Dougie walk me out. “If you find him, or get into any contact with him, call me please?” Dougie only nodded along with a yawn before I made my way out of the Shack and quickly over to the car.

Once inside, I took a deep breath, needing to rethink a few things and clear my head. Though when I get home tonight, my head will be in the damn clouds, thanks to Dougie. I smirked at myself and drove out of the ally. Things didn't seem as long, the drive back to La Push was hardly over an hour, as it seemed. And when I found out that Karina wasn't home, a smile instantly flashed across my face. I bounded up the stairs and threw my jacket to the ground. Hopping onto my bed I emptied out the brown bag and grinned.