Hold up My Heart

I was drowsy, the inexplicable feelings overcame me as soon as I tried to lift my head up. I fell back, my body felt like a large stone, I was weak. I blinked profusely and wiped at my eyes as I looked around to try and figure where the hell I was. Pushing my hands on the ground I tried to lift myself, and with much effort and slight pain, I hobbled to me feet. I felt a sharp pain in my leg, I came to the conclusion that I'd been tossed or something. Not too much damage otherwise.

Looking around, I found myself recognizing this place with great ease, I almost smiled. It was the warehouse that Tristan and I would come to every time we'd hang out. The DVD player and television was still in set, the comfortable beige couch was still sitting where it always sat.

“You remember,” I heard a deep voice. Gasping, I turned around – wincing at the sharp aching in my leg, and widened my eyes at the sight of Tristan.

I couldn't breathe, and yet I hadn't a clue why. I was shocked, he was alive, he looked okay – better than okay. He was a lot more attractive than when I had seen him before, it was almost impossible. “Tristan?” I said with small sound in my voice.

Tristan smiled, never daring to take his eyes off of me. “Bella,”

I glared, “Hey, what did I say about -”

His hands were up as if defending himself. “I was only kidding, damn, Ara,” he chuckled as he grabbed his red bottle. I squinted, and then held back the urge to barf. Tristan looked down at me with a knowing look in his eyes. Without blinking, he pulled out a small bag of white powder and two straw-like tubes. I began to sweat as I watched him set himself up, lining up the coke in perfect rows on a small table nearest him.

“Wow, you're resisting,” He said after a minute of letting himself get used to the feeling. I said nothing but shrugged and leaned more towards the wall. “What, did that wolf of yours turn you back into a goody goody?” I winced at Tristan's sick laughter.

“You know nothing,” I muttered, as I sent him a glare.

Tristan again, took another sniff, and wiped his nose. “Oh, come on, Arabella! That kid turned you around, and you know that,”

“It was for the better,” I argued while I chewed on my bottom lip. I watched him chuckle and shake his head. My heart was pounding, my mind was telling me that it was okay. My body told me that I needed this drug, I needed it in my body, I needed to be free, just this once. But I held back, and it took so much of me to even think of holding back.

“You know you want it,”

“What the hell happened to you?” I demanded as I tried to limp closer. It seemed odd to me that I had asked what happened when a normal person would ask why they are here.

“Wow, first time you see me in awhile and I get that?” Tristan's eyes gleamed as he chuckled again and began to shake his head. With a quick snap of his wrist and elevation of his arms, Tristan took another sniff, and snorted the drug into his nose. I swallowed as I watched him look up at me and smirk. He turned away slowly, leaving me with surprise at his retrieval. “I'm a hybrid now, that's what happened to me,” He almost spat it out as he looked back at me, before turning back around and heading into another room; it was almost as if he was trying to leaving me questioning.

“Wait,” I yelled out. Tristan turned around slowly with a gleam in his eye. “What do you mean you're a hybrid?” My voice was shaky as I asked him, I backed up against the wall as he walked closer.

Tristan grimaced, pain taking over his face. It appeared that he didn't like this anymore than I did. “A hybrid, Ara,” Tristan said through his teeth. “You know those Quileute legends that your boyfriend told you, about wolves and all of that glory,” He stopped in his tracks and snickered, obviously being sarcastic over the 'glory' of being a wolf. “It's the same for my tribe; the Taki legends that had been told for so many years. I didn't want to believe them, so I ignored all that I could. I didn't believe in the legends until my brother, Chris, had transformed for the first time. I began to freak out and soon just ran away to Port Angeles to live with Dougie.” Tristan's hands were now in fists, I let him continue without interruptions in fear of him losing control. “I have that wolf gene in me, and sooner or later I was going to transform into this – this monster,” Tristan began to shake, the sweat beads dripping down his face as he clenched his teeth together.

“So you're a wolf,” I whispered with hopes of the conclusion. Tristan chuckled deeply and shook his head.

“One night – the night that you came for your supplies, the night you ran out on me and said we'd only be friends, I began to boil over after you ran out. So I quickly left and wandered around town to cool off, and some how I ended up near an alley – how cliché, am I right?” Tristan smiled, but it wasn't his smile. “Then all that I remember was getting shoved into the darkness onto the cold cement, then a pinching feel in my neck...and then there was fire,” His eyes had slowly looked up to meet mine, and I could definitely see the pain decisively making it harder on him. He sighed, closing his eyes, “Three days I was writhing in pain, and obviously no one had come to get me. And when I realized what I was – after going back through my mind, the memories of the legends; I began to teach myself how to be normal again – and of course, that was not possible.”

“You taught yourself to keep control,” I said with much sick interest.

Tristan nodded, grabbing his red bottle, “And so I began to steal blood bags from the hospital, it was pretty easy, but I know that I can't keep going back there – being what I am, plus the wolf gene still developing inside of me; I can't run from this,”

I quickly put two and two together, easily figuring out the rest on my own. “You're part wolf, part vampire,” I concluded, shock released throughout my nerves and entering and exiting my veins. Tristan only nodded slowly, he was ashamed. “But how can you become both of you were already a wolf?” I asked as I slowly walked over to Tristan.

He sighed, cracking his knuckles absently. “What I'd concluded – and after I regrettably talked to my father about, is that my wolf gene had yet to be triggered, therefore, the venom had somehow been strong enough to take over my system and speed things up. It was only two days after being turned, that I had transformed as well – and it was the worst feeling I'd ever felt.” I couldn't help but to feel such sympathy for Tristan, the pain in his eyes, the shallowness in his voice only made me fall weaker to his presence.

“But you're controlling it,” I said, “You look like you've been doing so good,” I tried to subtly compliment. But what came out next from my mouth would only be the beginning of my regrets. “Then why am I here? Why did you take me, Tristan?” And it's like all that I began to see was a shaking figure that had only taken minimum seconds to transform into a new monster that would forever be the death of me – quite literally.