Hold up My Heart

Read author's note when finished.♥

I began to believe that it was the end for me, for my transparent existence. It certainly felt like it; I could faintly see it. In the most simplest way of an explanation, it was like I was watching myself – like I was outside of my living, breathing, body. It was such a hideous sight, though, but I knew that I couldn't turn away.

Tubes and machines hooked all around Jacob's small figure, while I numbly stood in the door way, frozen dead in my spot. My eyes began to glaze over with tears as I slowly walked over to his bedside, where I sat down in the chair right next to him. Instinctively I flinched when Jacob's heart monitor began to beep faster. In reaction to that I whined quietly at the pain in my ribs, those only being healed hours before. Scared, I grabbed his big hand in my own and squeezed it. Right away, to my surprise, his heart rate subsided and continued into it's regular pattern.

“We'll leave you two alone,” I heard Sam's deep voice say from behind me. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see all of the pack slowly leave the room, and soon the door was shut and it was just him and I. I couldn't bare to look deep into what had happened and what Jacob had endured, all for my safety. I felt like a cheat, a spared life not meant to be saved, and yet, Jacob went against fate and risked his life by saving mine.

It was after thinking that, that I began to feel the warm liquid fill again in my eyes. My vision began to blur, and after I blinked hard, I could feel the tears run down my face. “Jake?” I could hear my voice just barely make it out, my voice had only just broken as I spoke. “Come on, Jacob, wake up...” This being the first time that I had seen Jacob since the fight, and though we won – I hated saying that, that condition that Jacob seemed to be in, killed me deep inside, clawing at my heart, ripping at the organs with fatal thoughts on what to tear about next. And it was all because with every jagged breath that he took, I couldn't help but to think that it would be his last.

My eyes began to flood with tears, effortlessly they fell from my pores and down my face, so much more, with less control than before. The aching pain never subsided, nor did it get worse; it stayed in one specific spot, directly stabbing at my chest, making easy internal marks that only I would know about for how ever long I was to live.

“You need to wake up,” I cried, my quiet voice made me sound so weak, and at this point, I couldn't really care. “Jacob, I – I can't lose you,” The sobs came quick and without warning, “I, I love you,” and I'd only hoped that saying those three words would wake him up, like in those stupid fairy tales – and this time, I was lucky. “Jake...”

His eyes slowly opened with much effort to my dismay. “Wipe those tears away, beautiful, happy looks a lot better on you,” He hoarsely whispered, his voice coming off roughly with so much tension.

Without thought, I leaned over and gently kiss his lips. “Only for you,” I whispered as I leaned my forehead against his. He smiled and gestured me with little effort and a lot of pain, to get into the bed and lay with him.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Jacob said with gentle force. “I love you, too, Arabella,”