Paper Dolls

Jesse was a girl who found life a difficult burden to bear. Always being told that what she'd wanted to do with her life would not be possible, that she simply wasn't capable of it when there were so many others in the world who could. Things like this brought her down one step at a time, the feeling of failure and unaccomplished acts thawing their way deeper and deeper into her mind.

Jesse was just sick of being thought of as an idiot.

The past, she had always been distant about it. Even to those closest to her, a group that I hoped would include myself. It seemed superficial to be desperate for her friendship, from a young age I had been trying to make her see me, to see that I would make the pain of life lift itself little by little. It was only when she had no one to turn to that she let me into her life, a dark time of unwanted pity and despair. When I look back I believe that the reason she'd come to me was because I was the only one who didn't attempt to feign support; I didn't mock her with fake emotions. I just tried to take the burden from her hands.

Relationships built up and fell apart around us, but we remained close. It could be said that we became best friends, but I'm sure that Jesse wouldn't want to call it that. She was never one to put someone she cared about higher than another, despite how well we knew each other I didn't have a special relationship with her. However much I'd wanted to.

The problem's happened between us when she began to change, trying to impress those around her by acts and deeds that would normally mean nothing to her. She was changing who she was for people who didn't matter, and it hurt me when I discovered this. If she was changing who she was then she wouldn't want me in her life, that much was clear after the many ignored phone calls and growing distance between her and I. The feeling of abandonment tore me down from the deteriorating pedestal I had tried to put myself on.

Knowing that we were apart made life seem mundane, it was as if there was nothing left that was worth living for. I was stuck in this endless circle of despair and I couldn't find my way out. When I heard that Jesse had gone over the edge I'd gone as fast as I could to her aid, the forgotten pain of the past rushing back to her in a moment's notice. She hadn't wanted me there with her but she couldn't stop me from taking care of her, not when she was so weak and lost in her thoughts.

To Jesse life no longer mattered, it was a time she felt was wasted on herself and she wanted to free herself from it's tantalising hold. Jesse wanted to touch the heavens and be free from the stereotyping and hate that was felt towards her. What she didn't realise was that she wasn't hated, at least not by me. When she had come back to her senses she returned to her life of masked interest in the lives of the elite, once doing so she also returned to ignoring me.

One thing I didn't understand was why I always went back to her when she so clearly didn't want me around her. She just drew me to her like a moth to light, it was instinct to come to her aid. I just wished she would feel the same way about me.

The phone I received today brought me back down from my world of misguided loyalties. Jesse was in town. Some would say I was desperate by getting friend's of hers to inform me of her return in advance, but others didn't understand how much the girl meant to me. Not even Jesse herself knew that information, and that's what drew me in so much. Arriving at the celebration of the city's most elite was very intimidating at first, I felt that I should have turned around and submitted to Jesse's clear signs of distaste.

Posing as a news reporter I walked into the room of bustling bodies, looking around in wonder for the grey eyes I had grown accustomed to over the years of friendship. Several of the elite looked at me disdainfully, unaware of a reporter being on their list of desired guests. As long as the host of the gathering held for this hoard of people didn't realise I was around then I was safe, I just needed to find Jesse.

When my eyes met hers I could sense the surprise she felt, she turned instantly and attempted to find a hiding place or means to escape. I quickly walked through the guests, their disgust at my presence written all over their faces. I refused to let that slow me down as I continued to slide my way past them, following Jesse until she could no longer find an escape route. Her plan brought down by the terrace she was now stuck on, here she had to listen to me, here there were no elite to judge her as I brought my hand up to her sweet face.

She recoiled from my touch and I sighed in defeat.

"Why won't you just let me in any more Jesse? You know, like we used to?" She shook her head and avoided eye contact as she held her frail torso in desired comfort.

"I wish you'd accept yourself for who you are, Jesse. Instead of posing as one of these fake paper dolls that are meant to make up the elite of this city. You're better than them Jesse, you're so much better than them and all of this."

"Oh and you would know? You and your perfect life spent in squalor."

"Jesse, what happened? We used to be so close."

"I moved on," she sighed and turned away from me. I walked closer to her as she questioned her response, looking down at the fast paced world around her as I saw her eyes become blood shot. The silent tears that she'd been hiding from the world were finally beginning to fall. I brought her shaking form towards my chest, softly telling her that it would all be okay. Jesse Looked at me with her glass-eyed expression and smiled, her grey eyes showing her true feelings towards me as I wrapped my arms around her. Losing myself in the moment I brought my lips to hers, a feeling of bliss rendering me speechless as we parted.

"I love you, Jesse. I always have and I always will," I admitted, allowing the weight of my feelings be lifted as she smiled brightly through her tears.

"Tonight we'll dance amongst the angels, Will. Tonight we'll be able to be together forever."