Where I Lay My Head
Maybe You're Just a Slut
Once I was outside it wasn't difficult to locate Rachel. Instead of going for a proper walk he had settled with erratically pacing the face of the building.
"Rachel, I'm sorry..." It seemed like a good thing to start with.
At the sound of my voice, he whipped around and stomped to the area of sand-colored sidewalk before me.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he yelped. "Why can't you just say no?!"
I started at the ground, letting his anger towards me manipulate my emotions into being even more ashamed.
"I dunno..." What I meant by that was, I didn't know how to explain it to him.
"I'm starting to think that you're not as innocent as you let off! If you can't say no to a guy then how'n the hell am I gonna believe you're even a virgin?! Or, maybe it's just Baz... Maybe you can't say no to him because you really do want to fuck him! Or maybe you're just a slut!"
I stayed silent beyond that; There wasn't much I could say that wouldn't be accompanied by bursting into tears. The fact that I had enraged and hurt Rachel enough for him to act this way only made me feel more disgusting. I was a terrible, worthless person.
There was a minute before he yanked the iron pan of solidified grease from my arms and disappeared behind the building. He quickly returned with the emptied pan and shoved it towards me.
"Go inside, Addie." he demanded, shaking the pan for me to take.
Slowly, I took it and trudged into the building again, feeling worse about myself than ever. As if I didn't deserve it...
"Rachel, I'm sorry..." It seemed like a good thing to start with.
At the sound of my voice, he whipped around and stomped to the area of sand-colored sidewalk before me.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he yelped. "Why can't you just say no?!"
I started at the ground, letting his anger towards me manipulate my emotions into being even more ashamed.
"I dunno..." What I meant by that was, I didn't know how to explain it to him.
"I'm starting to think that you're not as innocent as you let off! If you can't say no to a guy then how'n the hell am I gonna believe you're even a virgin?! Or, maybe it's just Baz... Maybe you can't say no to him because you really do want to fuck him! Or maybe you're just a slut!"
I stayed silent beyond that; There wasn't much I could say that wouldn't be accompanied by bursting into tears. The fact that I had enraged and hurt Rachel enough for him to act this way only made me feel more disgusting. I was a terrible, worthless person.
There was a minute before he yanked the iron pan of solidified grease from my arms and disappeared behind the building. He quickly returned with the emptied pan and shoved it towards me.
"Go inside, Addie." he demanded, shaking the pan for me to take.
Slowly, I took it and trudged into the building again, feeling worse about myself than ever. As if I didn't deserve it...
