Where I Lay My Head

Five days of nothing but beer, fast food, and Pong went by, all isolated in the walls of Cecil's apartment. Sebastian's excessive fondling didn't get any worse but didn't get any better, either. I couldn't force myself to directly turn him down, only give him the cold shoulder now and then. He only took that as an invitation to be more hasty. From this was born an entire world of self-loathing I had never known before. I drowned all of my awful feelings with alcohol and Pong like a real English teen should.

Rachel cooled off the day after our brief confrontation but we only bounced back to being acquaintances, friends at best. A bleak contrast to our social situation, my hormones still cantered wild whenever I was around him. I knew what I had to do to win back his affection-- defy Cecil's wishes and turn Sebastian away-- but unfortunately that was the single thing I couldn't do. It's not that I didn't want to, because believe me I did, but I didn't have the courage and was still convinced that what Cecil says, goes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the second time that day when our supply of beer flat-lined and it was Sebastian's turn to go for more. He let out a tormented groan and pushed himself off of the couch to wobble on his stilt-like legs. The awful grimace on his face quickly dwindled when he noticed me on the ground before him, my legs folded Indian style as I blandly stared to the six-foot-something towering above.

"Come on, babe. Come to the store with me."

That soon escalated into a argument, but the minute Cecil decided to step in I was hushed.

"Addie, go to the store with Baz." he spoke firmly, in the way that my father spoke when I was doing things wrong and being stubborn. "You haven't been out of the house for five days. Now go. "

Sebastian knew that whatever Cecil said to me would stick, and that just made things worse. He took advantage of Cecil's approval as much as possible. I gave off a whimper of defeat as Sebastian firmly grabbed me by the arm and brought me to my feet. There was no way that would've gotten by if Cecil had acted half the cousin he used to be. But at the time he wasn't acting right, and somehow figured that being man-handled was in my best interest.