Don't Stop Now

Early the next day, I got up and made a quick stop to Walmart to pick up some road food for the guys. I figured they needed more Cheese Its since they finished those like crazy. I also decided to pick up some popcorn, Ramen noodles, and Sour Patch Kids. Being alone in the store really made me miss the company of the guys and then I smiled to myself knowing that in less than 8 hours they were coming back home.

On the drive back home, Into Your Arms came on the radio. I turned up the volume and rolled down the windows as it played throughout the whole car. I tapped my fingers on the wheel and sang along as soon as John’s voice was audible.

There was a new girl in town
She had it all figured out (had it all figured out)
Well I’ll state something rash
She had the most amazing smile

I remember when the guys all rushed into the practice room back at the house, screaming and exclaiming they needed to work on this song. They ran passed my room as they rushed in and out of Pat’s grabbing their instruments and bringing them to the sound proof room.

“What’s this song about now?” I asked them.

John smiled and said, “This girl who went away and all I really want is for her to come back. Want to listen?”

I shook my head and walked away, leaving them alone to work on it.

The song was still a hit in Tempe. It played at least 5 times a day and I always texted the guys whenever I heard it. However, that did stop. I kind of stopped caring because I mean, the guys didn’t need an update every single day on how many times their songs played in Arizona.

I’m falling in love, but it’s falling apart
I need to find my way back to the start
When we were in love and things were better than they are
Let me back into, into your arms...

Finally I made it home to find my parents gone. They left a note saying they were driving down to Tucson to visit the grandparents. I walked to my room and grabbed my bags, then brought them back into the living room. Checking to see if everything was set, I decided to lie down on the sofa and take a nap.

Four hours later, my phone starting ringing. I quickly ran to my room and answered.

“Hello?” I answered, tucking pieces of my hair behind my ear.

“Norah? Hey…”

I crinkled my eyebrows and asked, “Uh… who’s this?”

“Oh sorry, it’s probably under private right?” She asked and I checked. The number was under Private. I told her it was and she said, “Well, it’s Rachael.”

“Rachael? Rachael Roberts… Garrett’s Rachael?” I asked, sitting down on my bed.

She giggled on the other end, “Yeah. Long time, no talk right?”

“Totally,” I replied.

Even though I had always secretly loved Garrett, it was hard to not like Rachael. She was the sweetest girl you could ever meet. However, I managed to push her out of my life when she purposely tried to make me jealous. She knew I liked Garrett, and she always went out of her way to show me that he was all hers.

The last time I had talked to her was when she and I confronted each other a little over a year ago. I remember Rachael saying she was going to drive to Garrett’s, just because I was already there. We argued loudly and in front of him too. He tried stopping us, but we told him to back off.

“Just back the fuck up, Norah? He’s my boyfriend. Not yours!” She screamed.

I walked up to her and said in a low tone. “Don’t tell me what to fucking do, alright. I don’t even like Garrett.” Lie. “So I don’t know where this is coming from.”

Rachael raised her arms in the air. “You, Norah Kirch, are a fucking liar! You told me you loved Garrett. You told me you were jealous and you wanted to break us up.”

“That is bullshit Rachael.” Another lie.

Garrett came in between us and held my elbow. “Rachael, I think you should go.”

She looked at him and then back at me. Her face was glowing red from all the anger she was holding inside. She screamed at Garrett before shoving him on his side and then before I knew it, she punched me so hard… I couldn’t remember anything after that.

“Why are you calling me?” I asked, twirling a piece of hair around my finger. I could hear her mumble something and then replying loudly to somebody.

“I just wanted to tell you to back off.”

My eyes widened. “Are you fucking kidding me? Not again Rachael, not again. I’m done with this. You always twist my words around and make me look like an idiot. It’s bullshit, you’re bullshit and I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

She laughed, “Please Norah. Just so you know, I’m on the bus again. We’re currently on our way back to Tempe and the first and last face you’re going to see is mine. We’re going to finish where we left off a year ago…”

I knew what she meant. She was talking about the fight that was supposed to happen between the two of us a year ago. We were close to doing it, but Garrett and Tim stopped us.

“Why? What are you trying to tell me Rachael? To stay away from Garrett? Is this still about Garrett? Because I’ll back off. I will.” I paused, “I’m done arguing with you okay? I’m tired of this. We’ve been going at it for 2 years already. Garrett and I are never going to happen and guess what, I finally told Garrett I loved him and now our relationship is fucked up.” By now, I felt my eyes tear up. My tone of voice had become softer. “You win Rachael.”

Before I could let her say something, I hung up. I tossed my phone aside and cried. For the first time in my life, I gave up on something I knew was worth fighting for: Garrett.

Never have I felt so broken and vulnerable. I knew I could have defeated Rachael, but somehow, during that conversation I felt like giving up. Like my mind was telling me that it was time to give up. I felt like I had lost everything important to me and that was my best friend, Garrett. Rachael had him.

I shut my eyes to stop the crying. They were stinging like crazy, but I ignored it. I wrapped myself in a light blanket and fell to my side. How was I supposed to start a relationship with Garrett if Rachael was always trying to get in between? I was now dreading the expectation of the guys and possibly Rachael.

My ringtone was now playing again. I didn’t even want to reach for it. I dug my face into my pillow and sobbed. I was sad and my stomach turned and the one person I wanted by my side was the last person I wanted to see right now, besides Rachael.

After my cell stopped ringing, the house phone began. And as I let that one go too, the answering machine picked it up and a voice came on. Luckily, I could hear it from my room and it said, “Hey, this is Garrett. I don’t know why you’re not answering your phone… well, I do. I do know why. Can I just say I’m sorry for everything? Starting with what happened that night on the bathroom floor on the tour bus… Norah, you are my best friend and I don’t want to lose you. I lo-”

I quickly sat up. He didn’t finish. I waited a few minutes for him to call back and he did, but I still let it ring through. I wanted to hear him through the answering machine.

“Fuck, it cut me off didn’t it? Okay well what I was trying to say is that I know what Rachael told you. I was listening to her yell at you the whole time. I should have stopped her but I had a plan. Guess what Norah? We kicked her off the bus at the border of Arizona and Utah.” He laughed, “You should have seen her face Nor. We threw her bags out too; it was hilar-”

I laughed quietly to myself due to what he said and also because he had gotten cut off again. Again, I waited for him to call in and he did. I waited for his message with a smile on my face.

“What I’m trying to say here, is that I should have let Rachael go a long time ago. The night you told me how you felt, a million things were running through my mind and to be honest, Rachael was one of them. I should have known from the start that you really did love me. If you had just told me and been honest with me Norah, things would have happened. Believe me. Now, let me tell you one more thing Norah… I lo-”

My face fell. Garrett had never been that honest with me. That was one thing I did not know about him and how he felt. I gave him another minute to call back, but nothing. The phone didn’t ring. I frowned as I fell back down on my bed.

A second later, my phone vibrated. It was a text message.

Garrett Nickelsen
I love you.

And after all, you’re my wonderwall…