Don't Stop Now

I found myself in the place where I belonged. The familiar faces surrounded me with smiles and hugs. The comfortable feeling of sleeping on a moving vehicle and spending millions of nights in the back lounge, having countless conversations with the people I grew up with and the fresh air that entered the bus whenever we opened a window. Having the best views when we drove into the big cities and looking back once we drove away. The best part was just being in my comfort zone 100% of the time; I didn’t have to worry about being weird because we were all weird here. This was where I belong.

The day we settled into the bus for the final Warped date, I was curled up in the corner seat in the back lounge, figuring out what to do with the display. It was 8 o’clock pm and the guys were in the front of the bus, discussing super important band business. I ignored their shrieks of excitement and groans of suspense as I jot down what I wanted to do. Instead, I found myself doodling on the notepad. There was Garrett’s name next to mine with a heart surrounding them together. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

I love him.

Looking back on the summer I spent with the guys, I couldn’t believe how much fun it was. I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to manage bands, be a merch girl, anything that dealt with living and working with a band. Music is my life and just be around it 24/7 speeds up my heart till I can’t breath.

I was remembering the first Warped date. Happy memories and fun times with my best friends. Having those bonfires in the middle of the parking lot, stopping by the beach because we had every right to, and staying up all night on the days when the guys had no show next. This was the summer I dreamed about for a long while and it finally happened. With my best friends by my side, it made my summer the best.

Along with remembering and doodling, I found myself laughing at all the hilarious times that happened too. One time on the bus, everyone was asleep except John and I. We decided it would be funny to pull a prank and ended up melting marshmallows and painting it on the guys’ faces with Nutella on top. The next morning, they all woke up to sticky faces.

Another time was when we were all at Chipotle and we were ordering to go. I was in line, in front of Kennedy and behind Pat. Jared had gotten his order and walked over to the tables to wait for the rest of us. He didn’t see the wet spot on the floor and ended up slipping, throwing his food in the air and once he fell to the ground, his food fell on top of him. We couldn’t stop laughing.

But then there were the times when I also felt like crying. Most of them included Garrett, my best friend, my rock, my savior. One thing I was hoping to find this summer was love, and hell, I found it. It was always right there, right in front of me. Garrett Daniel Nickelsen.

This guy has been with me since I was a pre-teen. He’s helped me grow, understand, love… I’ve learned a lot from him and in exchange, I gave him a lollipop when he sliced his finger from playing too much guitar, I helped him up off the wet floor when he slipped in front of everyone at the roller rink, and I gave him my heart when I realized I had feelings for him.

Never in a million years would I have imagined myself with him. Sure, I’d get in serious shit if Tim found out, but love has no barriers, no walls, and my brother was definitely not going to get in between Garrett and I. He had to learn and let his little sister be happy and love. Of course he knew Garrett was a good, wait – great guy, but he was always sketchy about me being with a band guy.

I wasn’t going to let anyone stop me from being with Garrett. Thoughts came rushing into my head once I thought about “relationships”. When was he going to ask me? Did he love me enough to actually have the guts to ask me to be his girlfriend? This was what was toying with my thoughts.

“Norah?” I looked up and there he was, like he always has been. His smile brightened up the darkened lounge area and instantly, my face lit up as well. I motioned him over and he did. He plopped down on the seat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. “I love you.”

My lips curved upward and stayed there. Whenever he was around, it was like frowning was impossible to do. Whenever he was around, smiling was all I could do. I held his hand and rested my head on his shoulder as I shut my eyes.

“I love you too.” I whispered and finally drifted off into sleep.

The moment I woke up, I woke up to the faces that made life worth living. All their smiles immediately made my day. They were kneeling down with their elbows resting on the couch as I looked at them sideways. I stretched out of legs, my arms and sat up.

“Morning darling,” they all said. I laughed and rested my hand over my face, yawning. They guys stood up and leaned forward, kissing the top of my head before leaving towards the front lounge. Tim came in afterward and sat down next to me.

“So Garrett told me everything?”

I turned to him, “Yeah?”

He nodded and rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. “I just want you to know that I approve of him, and only him. Garrett’s a good kid and if I were to ever match you with anyone in the world, and he was up against the most chivalrous guy in America, I’d still match him with you. Want to know why?”

I sat there, wondering. “Why?”

“Because I saw it from the start. I remember when you two first starting talking. It was made to be and I just didn’t want you to rush into anything so I always made you stay away from those kind of things, you know?” He scooted closer and wrapped his arm over my shoulders.

“You’re my younger sister and I love you to fucking pieces. It’s sad to see you growing up and living your own life. I mean, I did help you tie your shoes, ride a bike, tell time…”

“I get it Tim.” I laughed, placing my hand over his.

As I looked at him, I could tell he wanted to cry. He turned away and looked at the ground, biting down on his bottom lip. From what I saw, his lips were trembling and the corners of his eyes were tearing up.

“I love him, Tim. But you’re my brother and of course, I’ll love you 10x more. You and Pat both.”

He turned to me and cracked a smile. “I know, Nor… I just want you to be in good hands.”

I smiled. “I am in good hands. Garrett’s wonderful. He’s caring, understanding, fun, and loving. You know that. You’ve known him for years.”

Tim nodded, leaning towards me and kissing my temple. “Alright, I’m glad we talked about this.” As he stood up, he looked at me, “I still have every right to kick his ass if he ever does you wrong.” And then he walked back to the guys, laughing.

Finally hearing those words come out of Tim’s mouth made my heart relieved. His opinions were always like weights, but getting his good side and good comments on Garrett, lifted them away.

For the rest of the day, we made it to the venue. The guys got down and hauled themselves to the main stage to meet up with Gary and the techs. They checked their equipment and started tuning their guitars and fixing their drums. I, on the other hand, had to go set up the merch tent. I was alone, but luckily Jac was there. She saw me as soon as I walked in, finding the tent and ran and hugged me. “NORAH!”

She helped me set up the t-shirts and haul in the rest of the boxes. We set up the table and made the ‘Leave Change Here’ can. I took out the posters and set them to the side since the guys were doing the signing later. The shirts hung from the sides and it looked pretty damn good. Hats were placed on the sides and booty shorts as well. Jac and I decided to walk around and check out the rest of the tents and also to meet up with some friends.

By the time the kids came rushing in, the tent was already forming lines. I was a little stressed but luckily got surprised by Vito coming in from the back. He took half the line and I was taking a breather. As time went on, the sun was now beating down on us. It was 100+ degree weather in Texas and everywhere I saw was people in shorts and tank tops. What I was wearing were my favorite pair of denim shorts and my Sorry for Partying tank top.

It was already 2:30 and that was the time The Maine would play. I really wanted to go see their set but the tent was always being bombarded by crazy fans, but I never argued. I loved the fans; they were the nicest people in the world.

I got a text from Garrett saying to ditch the tent and head over to the Hurley stage, where they were playing. I informed Vito of the text and left him working with Dirk. I made my way to the stage. I held onto the lanyard that hung around my neck as I headed to the crowd. The Maine’s crowd was large and I didn’t think I could make it to the front, so I just stood where I was, in the back.

“WHAT’S UP DALLAS!!!!” John shouted into the mic. The kids screamed at the top of their lungs and raised their arms in the air. Even in hot weather, that never stopped these people. Music was their lives and they would obviously go through sleet and thunderstorms to see their favorite bands. “Before we start this, Garrett would like to make an announcement.”

The crowd cheered and my eyes moved onto Garrett. From how far back I was, I couldn’t really see him, or the rest of the guys, clearly. I squinted as I stood on my tippy-toes, trying to get a good glance.

“Alright. There’s this girl… and I kind of love her… a lot. A lot of you may know her…” he started and soon, I felt myself blush.

“Her name is Norah… Pat’s sister. I love her and I know you all should love her too. Oh fuck, I really hope she’s in the crowd,” I saw Garrett lean forward and scan the front of the crowd, but sadly I wasn’t there. He lifted his hand to shield the sun to get another look, but nothing. But I had an idea; I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. Giving it a few seconds, Garrett took his phone out and held it to the mic.

“Norah? Where are you?”

“I’m in the back, but don’t worry, just finish what you were going to say…” my voice echoed through the large speakers in the front. The rest of the guys on stage where walking towards Garrett and rested their hands on their hips.

“I’m in love with you.” He said into the mic.

The crowd awed and again, I felt myself blush. I held my phone to my ear and with my other hand I held it to my cheek, feeling how hot it was. “Oh my gosh… Garrett, I love you too.”

I looked up and could see Garrett still scanning the crowd. I was too far back for him to see, but I really wanted to be in the front. So I ditched the back and walked on the side of the crowd, making it to the side stage and got into the part where the photographers were. When the guys saw me, they started shouting into the mics “She’s here!” and “Garrett, look!” I smiled as I tilted my head to look up at them. Garrett’s eyes connected with mine and walked closer to the edge of the stage, still holding his phone to the mic, he said, “I want to ask you something…”

This time the crowd got really excited and started chanting “Ask her, ask her…” over and over again. It was cute and I really loved their support. I could see it all again and I just wanted him to ask so I could jump on stage and kiss him front of everyone.

I walked closer to him and reached my arm out to him. Garrett got down on his knees and leaned forward and took my hand, holding it tight. I looked to the side to see Jared, Kenny, John, and Pat standing next to each other, smiling while biting down on their bottom lips. They looked twice as excited as I was.

“Would you do the honor… of being my wonderful lady… my beautiful girl… just, my girlfriend?”

And that was it. I felt my stomach explode with butterflies and with the crowds cheering, awing, and everything else in between… I was the happiest girl in the world. I looked up at Garrett and smiled. I said into my phone, “Of course. I would love to be your girlfriend.”

Then I reached for his arms and jumped up, getting on stage and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms snaked around my waist and our foreheads pressed against each other. Our eyes were connected and I don’t think anything in the world could make me look away. His eyes were what I wanted to look at forever and his arms were where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

“You’re my life Garrett,” I whispered.

“You’re everything to me.” He said and finally, closing that little space between our faces, our lips collided and nothing felt as amazing as that. This kiss definitely beat our first and I was happy. I felt him smile as his lips were pressed to mine and behind me, I could the guys squealing and giggling.

Everything in this moment was perfect. I had the perfect setting, the (im)perfect best friends, the perfect music, and of course the perfect boyfriend to match.

This is my life and with all of them standing beside me, nothing can stop me. Nobody can stop me. Like I said before,

“Don’t stop now…”