Saving Grace

Thinking; constantly thinking, that's what I was doing. That and over-analyzing...

It was easy to get entangled within my own head. At times I zoned, my mind flickering back and forth, to and fro, between the million thoughts invading my mind.

My father use to get mad at me for wandering off into my own little world. Then again, my father was often mad regardless of me and my deep-thinking sessions.

I slowly came back to reality, a hushed breath escaping my lips. I stared out the kitchen window, the sun sending hues of lavender, red, orange and pink across the sky as it rose in the distance. Almost mechanically, I brought my ceramic coffee cup to my lips and took a sip of the hazelnut-flavored coffee contained within the white mug.

I wrapped my sweater around me, searching for a little more warmth, never pulling my eyes from the window. It wasn't until I felt two arms snake around me that I looked away. Tilting my head back, I saw Nick standing behind the chair I was seated in, clad in a ratty tee-shirt and a pair of loose boxers that barely clung to his narrow hips. "Morning, Beautiful," he said, a sloppy smile placed on his lips, his eyes portraying just how tired he really was.

"'Morning," I said, my voice gentle in comparison to his echoing voice. I tilted my head so my chin was parallel to the kitchen floor once again, my eyes flickering back to the rising sun.

Nick was silent for a moment before he took the seat beside me at the shorter edge of the rectangular table. "I'm sorry about last night, Amelia."

I didn't respond.

"I got caught up in everything..." The same excuse he had used last time this happened...

Usually, we weren't the kind of couple that was joined at the hip but when we went to parties Nick usually stayed nearby. He knew that I didn't particularly enjoy those types of social events and up until recently, he'd been really good at keeping his promises about hanging around.

"Amelia?"

I took another sip of my coffee, glancing at him before staring at the intricate designs the wood of the kitchen table held. I didn't know what to say to him.

Yes, I was upset. Yes, I was worried where this relationship was suddenly heading but I didn't know how to tell him; I didn't know to voice my thoughts at the moment.

Nick reached over and placed his hand over my own, telling me to look at him through touch. His eyes were serious, worried and apologetic all in one. "I'm sorry, Beautiful," he said, his hand lifted from mine but only to cradle the side of my face gently. "John said you didn't look well when he dropped you off. Feeling better today?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm really sorry for ditching like that..." he said before leaning over a pressing his lips lightly against mine. “I'm an idiot."

Yes, Nick. On occasion you are...

At least you admit it.

A glint caught my attention from the window. "John's here," I said, nodding to the silver rental car being parked at the curb. Nick's eyes turned to the window.

It wasn't uncommon to have John stop in everyday while he was visiting. He was only here for a matter of days - on special occasions a couple of weeks.

Nick and I had offered him the spare bedroom but he had declined, claiming that he didn't want to bother us, to intrude on our personal space.

I looked to my boyfriend, studying his face before he turned to me. "What?" he asked his eyes curious.

I shrugged, smiling a little. "Nothing. Y-Y," I sighed, agitated with my speech impediment before starting over. "You're lucky I love you," I said, letting him know that he was once again forgiven without actually saying the words.

He smiled and brushed his lips against mine once again before the doorbell sounded.

Too lazy to get up, Nick shouted through the house, his voice bouncing off the hard surfaces lining the kitchen. "Come on in!"

I rolled my eyes at the red-headed boy sitting beside me. "Nice, Nicholas. Nice."

"What? John knows he doesn't have to ring the doorbell. He just chooses to."

I sighed, a light smile playing on my lips as I got up to refill my coffee cup.

As I pulled the glass coffee pot from the burner it was brewing on, John entered the room. "Good morning," he said cheerfully, as though he did this every morning – as if he fit perfectly into this routine with us.

"Morning," Nick and I greeted.

"Would you two like some coffee?" I asked as John pulled a chair from its place and sat.

"Nope, I'm good," the two boys said in perfect unison. They looked at each other before a wide grin spread across their faces. "JINX!"

I rolled my eyes at their immaturity. When those two got together, they suddenly transformed into immature twelve year-olds.

"What are you boys planning to do today?" I asked before taking another sip of my fresh coffee.

The males looked across the table to one another before shrugging. "No idea," Nick said, turning his eyes back to me.

"I see. How many more days are you staying?" I asked, looking to John.

"Three."

I looked between the two of them, leaning against the counter. "You'll find something entertaining to do," I stated knowingly.

They nodded before looking to one another, staring blankly as they thought. I shook my head at them, pushing myself from the edge of the counter. Without another word, I walked from the kitchen to change from my pajamas.

Nick entered our bedroom just as I pulled on one of my many bracelets. "We decided to go drive around- find something to do that way... Want to come with us?"

I turned my head to look upon my boyfriend who was searching the closet for something a little more suitable to wear out in public. "No, I'm good. You two can hang out today."

"You sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah, go spend some time with John. You two barely talk anymore."

"We talk all the time, Amelia," Nick said.

"Not as often as you use to."

He shrugged it off, knowing it was true. "Alright, if you insist."

"I do insist." I smirked as he pulled a pair of jeans over his boxers. "G-Give me a kiss before you leave."

Nick smirked now. "I think I can handle that," he said before wrapping his long arms around my waist and pulling me to him.

I smiled against his lips when they collided with mine. I brushed my fingers through his hair, pulling away before he could deepen the kiss. "John's waiting on you, Love."

He sighed and nodded. "Love you, baby," he said quickly before snagging a tee-shirt from a hanger.

"Love you too," I called as he walked toward the bedroom door, discarding his wrinkled shirt on the floor. I sighed at his actions as he pulled his fresh shirt on and disappeared through the doorway.

I ran my fingers through my brown hair, thinking once again.

Everything seemed okay in our relationship at times. Like today, but I was still having my doubts.

I forced myself to stop and decided to busy myself, commanding my mind to stop thinking about my relationship for once in nearly three months.