Saving Grace

I twiddled my thumbs as I sat in the uncomfortable chair supplied by the hospital. Bree looked weak as she was propped up in the bed. Her blond hair looked dark compared to her skin tone and her breathing seemed ragged. She looked exhausted yet peaceful all at once.

I had to tell her today about everything. If I didn't soon, I knew I never would.

A tube ringed around her head, beneath her nose as it fed her oxygen. Her eyes looked tired with dark circles beneath them despite the extra effort she was putting in her voice to sound cheerful.

Tears were blurring my eyes though I fought against them. I barely knew this woman and yet she had made an impression in my life that I'm sure I would never forget. I knew that this was quite possibly one of the last times I could ever talk to her; I could tell by somber expression that spread across Jay's face when he thought no one was looking at him.

I barely paid attention to what she was saying to her children as I chewed on my lower lip and thought over the things I desperately needed to tell her.

"Amelia, dear? What are you thinking about?"

I looked up from the floor and for the first time in a while and I realized that the boys of the O'Callaghan family had moseyed out of the room. "I have to speak with you," I said, my voice ready to break.

She smiled, her lips only a twinge of pink against her ghostly white skin. She patted the bed beside her, signaling for me to go sit by her. I pulled myself up and sat on the mattress cross-legged to face her.

I sucked in a deep breath as I looked into her dark brown eyes. "I-I, uh. I'm sorry, I don't know how to- to say t-this." I tucked a wave of my hair behind my ear. "Me, I- John and I aren't really dating."

I watched her facial expression, waiting for some sort of emotion: confusion, concern, sadness, just something- but I found nothing.

"Nicholas- Nick- is m-my boyfriend. John said you wanted to see him happy before you..." I trailed off, looking to my hands as they fidgeted in my lap. "I- I don't mean to upset you or anything by doing thi-"

"Amelia, do I look upset?" Bree asked, her voice sounding as it would usually.

I looked to her and found a small smile upon her lips. "I... No," I sighed. "I'm sorry for lying to you, to your family. It was immoral and I feel terrible for doing it."

"No one here is judging you, Amelia. I forgive you completely but you have to promise me to forgive yourself and forget."

I studied her. How could she make everything so simple? So easy? It was impossible for me to understand that.

"I promise," I whispered.

She studied me for a moment and I surprisingly didn't feel paranoid under her observation. "You are a good person," she said suddenly. I wanted to scoff at her but I stopped myself from doing so. "You'll figure everything out eventually. I'm sure of it."

I gave her a curious look and she sighed. "I'm a mother, I know when someone has something on their mind," she explained with a small laugh. "Just give it some time."

Before I had a chance to respond, the four O'Callaghan guys walked back into the room. I smiled weakly at her and rested my hand over hers for a brief moment, telling her 'thank you for everything' through a simple touch. With that, I climbed off of the hospital bed and sauntered back to the chair I had been sitting in.

I turned my eyes back down to the floor, still unable to look at John.

-----

Ross, Shane, John and I piled into the car.

There was a tense silence filling the small space, like there had been on our way to the hospital. Ross and Shane shifted uncomfortably in the backseat just before John cleared his throat behind the wheel. "So... This morning... I thi-"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, interrupting him. I crossed my arms over my stomach.

"But-"

"John! I don't want to talk about it!" My cell phone rang in my pocket. Angrily, I pulled it out and accepted the call. "What!?"

"Whoa! Did I do something wrong?" Nick asked.

I felt myself pale and grow nauseous at the sound of his voice. "No."

"Oh... How have you been? Sorry I haven't called in a few days..."

It had been a few days but I never would have noticed if he hadn't brought it up. "Oh, that's okay. I've been," I glanced out the window, searching for an appropriate word, "busy," I finally settled on. "Busy but fine. How have you been?"

"Good. Justin and Halvo are high on sugar right now. They're running around outside chasing birds. Andrew is sleeping... again."

I smiled a little but this morning's events ran through my mind and it slowly faded. "Sounds... interesting. I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Oh... Okay, I love you, Beautiful."

"Y-Yeah. I- uh- love you too. Bye." I hung up only to face two sets of curious eyes. "It was my dad," I lied, glancing between Shane and Ross. I turned to the window after that and pressed my forehead to the cool glass, sighing lightly.

When the house came into view, I noticed the familiar van that had writing from fans all over it and I knew instantly that Linnely and the guys were over. I climbed out after John rolled the car to a stop. I watched as Kennedy peeked around the curtains before disappearing once again.

Ross held open the door for the three of us to walk in and I was immediately greeted with an embrace from Jared. "I haven't talked to you in forever!" he cried as he pulled away.

I smiled a little before Linnely's curious expression caught my attention. I discreetly nodded toward the stairs. She immediately caught my drift and swooped between Jared and me. She let out a sigh as all eyes turned curiously to her. Her hands rested on her small hips as she looked at each face. "I'm stealing Amelia for a while," she said with a smile.

"What the fuck?" Kennedy asked. "We finally have some time to chill and you're dragging her away?" He pushed out his lower lip in a pout as Garrett looped his arm through mine.

"You'll have to kill me or take me with," he said.

Linnely blinked at the boy, trying to think of an excuse. "Alright, you can come with us to search for a tampon for me."

The copper haired boy's face turned fearful and disgusted. "You can take her," he said, shoving me lightly in her direction.

Linnely smiled in satisfaction before pulling me upstairs.