Little Words Can Hold So Much

This week has been hard.

In some ways it's been fantastic. I haven't had work since last week so I've been able to catch up on some tv. I've been able to talk to people. Organise stuff.

But it also means I've been all up in my head. So many hours alone. People on the other end of my phone, but not one I can really talk to. Not like I used to.

Way back in high school I had a friend I could talk to about anything. She was my go to. She was the one to get me out of my head. She knew my secrets and my stresses, she knew me.

She moved away. I tried to keep in touch. I must've failed her in some way, or she failed me. Whichever. She went to hanging out with friends I'd stopped hanging out with because I knew they weren't healthy for me. I lost her.

I don't have someone I can articulate my thoughts to anymore. I can barely write them here. My head is somewhere else.

It's not healthy. I know that.

I need to find someone again. I'm not sure where to look though. Do you look into a romantic partner to help? Or do I open up to another friend?

I don't know.