I'm Over Getting Older

Hannah

Shit! I was so confused. Why did I say that to him? Those words didn’t even register in my head before they slipped out of my mouth. I had no idea where they came from.

I laid on my couch, watching Rain Man, an old favorite of mine. I always liked old movies.

Natalie was asleep, and so was Tyler. He had to wake up at six this morning for work. I, however, couldn’t sleep. So many thoughts were swarming around in my head. Not only that, but I couldn’t stop coughing. I knew I was sick and needed to go to the doctors, I just always put it off. I’m not sure why I did that.

It was twelve o’clock, and I decided to make popcorn. I paused the movie and walked to the kitchen.

I couldn’t like Alex. Could I? But that would be the only thing that would make sense, seeing every time I see him I feel… different. I feel good about myself. I feel like a teenager again.

But Tyler is such a nice guy! He’s good looking, and funny, and very supportive. He didn’t even mind that I had a daughter. When I told him, he couldn’t wait to meet her.

I hate Alex for confusing me.

And speaking of the devil… he’s calling.

“Alex, it’s twelve at night,” I said, sticking the bag of popcorn in the microwave, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“You weren’t asleep. I can tell you’re still wide awake,” He chuckled. I rolled my eyes, setting the cook time to one minute and fifty-five seconds.

“Why are you calling?”

He sighed. “Me and Lisa got in a fight, and she said she wanted me out of the house for the night. I called all the guys, and they’re asleep. Can I please just sleep in Natalie’s room, or the couch tonight?”

I exhaled slowly. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight.

“Sure, come on over,”

“I’m already out front,” I could hear him smile, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I opened the door quietly and watched Alex get out of his car, shutting the door angrily. I could tell he wasn’t joking about him and Lisa getting into a fight, because he seemed seriously pissed off.

He looked at me, and shot me a half smile. “Thanks,” He muttered, shutting the front door. I shrugged and went to grab my popcorn, shaking every last piece out into a big white bowl.

“Rain Man?” He guessed, looking at the screen.

I nodded, grinning. “If you wanna go to bed now, I can just go upstairs,” I told him.

“Neither you or I look tired, so I’ll just watch it with you,” He smiled.

Oh Lordy. This should blow over well. He sat down next to me, and dug his hands into my popcorn.

“You bitch,” I mumbled, slapping his chest.

“Whatever,” He rolled his eyes, shaving popcorn into his mouth.

"What was the fight with you and Lisa about?" I questioned.

He flicked his wrist at me. "Nothing. She was just, uh, being a bitch," He muttered.

We sat in silence; I was totally mesmerized by the movie, until I felt Alex’s arm snake its way around my shoulders.

“What are you doing?” I sighed. Inside, my heart was going crazy.

“You still have feelings for me, I know it,” He looked straight at me,, holding my gaze.

“My boyfriend is sleeping upstairs-”

“Admit it,” He interrupted me.

“We’re in Tyler’s house an-”

“Admit it,” He interrupted me again, more stern this time.

I shook my head, even though my heart was agreeing with him. He peered behind him, making sure nobody was coming down the stairs, and then roughly pressed his lips to mine. I couldn’t fight him. I didn’t want to.

“Alex,” I moaned quietly and he sucked on my soft spot.

He nodded against my neck, smiling, bringing his lips back up to mine. I wound my arms around his neck, my fingers in his mess of hair.

“I told you,” He said in between kisses. “You still love me,” He sounded happy.

I shook my head. “I can’t, Alex,” I murmured. “I can’t,”

“You do, though.” He slid his tongue into my mouth, fighting for dominance. I couldn’t deny the butterflies swarming around in my stomach; my heart was doing flips.

“I can’t cheat on Tyler, no,” I refused, pushing Alex off of me. I didn’t want Tyler to feel the pain I felt when I found out Alex was cheating on me, and I didn’t want Lisa to have to feel it either, even though she’s a bitch.

“Han-”

“No Alex, I’m gonna go to bed,” I said shakily.

“You felt that!” He whisper yelled.

“Yeah Alex, I did.” I admitted. “I did. You were my first love, I’m always going to feel something with you.” I shot, walking up the stairs, my knees getting ready to give out.

As I slid into bed with Tyler, he rolled over and draped his arm around my waist, breathing onto my neck.

There was no way I was getting more than two hours of sleep tonight.