I'm Over Getting Older

Alex

“Come on baby, Nat is asleep,” Lisa whined and I rolled my eyes secretly so she didn’t see. Only Hannah and me called her Nat. Lisa always tries to act like Natalie’s biological mother.

Lisa was currently straddling me, trying to get me to have sex with her while my daughter was in the room next door.

“No Lisa, she could wake up at any time and I’m not going to risk that!” I said, getting fed up. I knew she was just trying to make me love her again. I knew that she knew I was being distant with her. And I’m pretty sure she knows I still love Hannah.

It was sad, pathetic, really, that almost three years later I’m still in love with her. It was my entire fault it ended, and I knew it.

I was just scared then! I was seventeen, and my band was getting pretty popular. I didn’t know how to be a parent. I didn’t want to screw up the kid’s life.

But that didn’t give me an excuse to hurt Hannah in the process of my fear. Four months into her pregnancy, I was begging her for the privilege of letting me help with Natalie. Of course she said yes. She was Hannah, she always did what others wanted.
“We could be quiet,” She said, trying to be cute.

I lightly pushed Lisa off of me and rolled on my side, clicking the lamp off.

She huffed, turning her own lamp off as well.

- - -

When Hannah came in the morning, Lisa was gone. She worked today, thank God.
“How was your date last night?” I asked, curious.

“It was great,” She replied. She wasn’t being sarcastic or smug. She was just giving me a real, true, straight answer.

“That’s good,” She nodded.

Natalie ran into the room, almost tripping over he feet a few times. “Mom!” She squealed, raising her arms up into the air so that Hannah would pick her up, which she did.

A slow song came on the radio, and Natalie gasped. “Dance!” She smiled.

She put Natalie into my arms and Natalie immediately refused, kicking her legs. “You, mom!” She pointed to me and Hannah.

I looked over at Hannah and she shrugged, and I could tell she was fighting a smile. I set Natalie down and took Hannah into my arms, her hands resting lightly on my shoulders as Natalie watched us dance around my kitchen. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to freeze this moment forever.

“Hannah, I-”

“HEY BOYS AND GIRLS, BARNEY IS HERE!” Jack busted through my door and in my mind, I was killing him for ruining my moment.

I was forced to release Hannah as she walked over to Jack to hug him tightly.

“Untle Jack!” Natalie cried out.

“NAAAAAAAAAATALIE!” Jack picked her up and held her over his head, making her laugh like crazy.

“Oh my nerves,” Hannah said, placing a hand on the side of her face, rubbing her temple and shaking her head as I rubbed her shoulders from behind her.

He finally set her on the ground.

“So, you guys were getting your groove on while Alex’s bitch is gone?” Jack asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I slapped the back of his head.

“Our daughter wanted us to,” Hannah explained.

“Dey was dancing wike a pince and pincess would! Daddy is mom’s pince!” She smiled up at us.

Jack looked at me, and I just shrugged helplessly.

I wish I were still her prince.