I'm Over Getting Older

Alex

I woke up to the scent of Hannah’s perfume lingering on my pillow. I looked at the clock and it read 10:35. She had let me sleep in.

I arose from the bed, stretching out my arms. I didn’t bother putting a shirt on, I just walked out of the room, knowing Hannah was probably tired and wanted to relax for a minute.

“Dad!” Natalie squealed, stumbling over to me as quickly as possible. She jumped a few times, and I picked her up, throwing her lightly into the air and catching her as she laughed loudly in my ear.

“Goodmorning my two favorite girls, what have you been up to?” I asked, yawning.

“Nat, go get daddy the picture we colored, it’s in your room!” Hannah encouraged and our daughter ran off.

I let out a random groan, groggy with sleep still and Hannah rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee and took my hand, pulling me into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” She asked me and I nodded, hugging her from behind and laying my chin on her shoulder.

“Mom?” Natalie called out frantically when she came back to the living room to find that Hannah and I had changed locations.

“In here, Nat! Kitchen!” She said back, and the giggling of our daughter and her footsteps slamming on the tile floor greeted our ears, and she ran to us. I’m wondering when she’ll start walking, instead of running everywhere, and stumbling all the time.

“Wook dad!” She waved the picture around and I took it from her, looking at the scribbles of purple, yellow and orange crayon all over a picture of Nemo and Dory that was ripped out of a coloring book.

“Wow, that’s so pretty,” I grinned, and she clapped, throwing her arms up into the air so that I would lift her. Hannah’s phone rang, and she flipped it open, leaving the kitchen.

“Hey, Ty,” I heard her say, and jealousy boiled inside of me. Why was he calling her?

Natalie began babbling random nonsense into my ear, and I put a finger up to my lips and she nodded, knowing that we needed to be quiet, although she didn’t know the reason why.

“No we haven’t heard from him yet,” She said, a hint of sadness clear in her voice. “In a few weeks.” Silence filled the room as he talked on the other end of the line. “Yeah that would be great, I’ll call you then.” I growled. “Thanks, Ty, you’re wonderful.” She laughed, and hung up the phone, walking back into the kitchen.

“What the fuck was that?” I asked, setting Natalie down.

She looked taken aback. “What are you talking about?” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh Ty, you’re so great, I’ll call you after Alex leaves.” I repeated her words bitterly.

She balled her hands up into fists at her sides. “What are you implying?”

“I’m implying your going to get back together with him while I’m gone!” I yelled without thinking, immediately regretting it.

Her jaw dropped. “You are an ASS. Fuck you. Tyler offered to watch Natalie for a weekend so that I could go see you on tour.” She told me, and ran my fingers through my hair. Goddammit why don’t I think before I talk?

“Babe, I’m-”

“No.” She interrupted me, her voice beginning to get shaky, making me hate myself. I never stopped fucking up. “I don’t want to hear it. Fuck you. You really were going to accuse me of cheating on you? Hell, we’re not even officially together, if I wanted to get back together with him I could.” Tears began sliding down her face.

“I’m so sorry, I just don’t want to lose you to him again. I don’t want to lose you to anybody.” I told her honestly.

“Well you’re doing a bad job of keeping me around,” She muttered, trying to wipe away the tears.

My eyes flashed to her wrists and fear overtook me. I couldn’t let her do anything like that again, and I especially couldn’t be the cause.

I grabbed her, burying my face in her hair. “I love you so much, Hannah and I just got jealous and I’m sorry,” I rambled. Her arms slowly reacted and wrapped loosely around my torso.

“Why don’t you trust me?” She whispered.

“I do,” I reassured her quickly. I was the biggest douche bag to walk this green Earth.

She shook her head. “Obviously you don’t.”

“Mom, up!” Natalie tugged on Hannah’s hand, pulling her up the staircase, making me groan.