I'm Over Getting Older

Hannah

Five days have passed, I think. I lost track. The only thing I know is it hasn’t been a week, because they would have been home by now. He calls me every day but I don’t answer. Every time I see something that remind me of him, I cut. It almost hurts me to look at my own daughter.

I haven’t eaten since Jack called me; I also haven’t slept. Natalie is fine; I know how to take care of her, even though Alex thinks I can’t, apparently. I wear long sleeves so she can’t see the cuts.

I didn’t know what I would do when the boys got home.

- - -

Alex

“Fuck, Alex, calm down!” Matt yelled as I began to get frustrated during sound check.

“I need to get back to her.” I repeated for the millionth time in an hour.

“Tomorrow. We’re fucking leaving, tomorrow. Okay? We’ll leave at 4 in the fucking morning if you want. This is the last show, come on, enjoy it.” Matt said. I didn’t blame them all for being aggravated with me. The guys really didn’t even talk to me that much this past week.

“How do you expect me to enjoy it?”

“The way you enjoyed that girl you cheated on Hannah with, I guess.” Zack snapped. They all protected Hannah like brothers, since we first met her in high school.

“Shut the fuck up Zack! I made a mistake, I know, stop reminding me!” I growled.

“Come on, guys. Cut it out. Just practice.” Matt sighed.

And so we did. And we did our concert, And I sang through every song, just staring out into the crowd hoping that I would see Hannah, even though I knew I wouldn’t. There was no way she was coming out to see us.
- - -

I hopped in the bus as fast as possible, just wanting to get home.

“We’ll leave in two hours, get ready to go.” Matt announced. I balled up my fists. Couldn’t we just leave now? I didn’t say anything though. I had caused enough trouble, I couldn’t whine anymore.

The two hours passed so slowly. I sat, staring at my phone in silence. None of the guys really said anything to me. Finally the bus started moving. I fell asleep for a few hours, but woke up and became more alert when I began seeing the familiar sights of my neighborhood.

I hopped off the bus, grabbed my suitcases and unlocked the door. I’d call all of the guys tomorrow and apologize; right now I just needed to see the mess I created.