Therapy for the Lost

The knock on the door came far too soon for Sarah's taste. She was content to sit and enjoy Mikey's arms around her, even though she had long since stopped crying. Sighing heavily, she stood up and opened it. She wasn't sure what she was going to say; she only knew that she had to say something. The look on Gerard's face told her he was clearly upset she had been ignoring them; Frank looked at the carpet when he walked in.
"Um, hi guys..." she said softly. Her stomach was really making her feel ill.
"Here, on me. I want the truth, though, or I'll tackle you." Gerard handed her a brown paper bag, and Frank followed her into the kitchen with the plastic one.
"You really shouldn't have ignored Gerard...he easily takes things the wrong way sometimes. He thought you guys were friends." Frank did not yell, in fact, he spoke in barely a whisper, but the accusation in his voice told Sarah he was mad at her.
Sarah turned to face him, and he looked a bit shocked at the look in her eyes. "I wanted to be his friend...I want to be friends with all of you, but...you guys just don't know...I guess you'll find out. Please don't hate me..." She muttered making herself a very strong drink and taking it down in one gulp.
She saw Frank give her a look. He looked nervous. Maybe swallowing a drink that size in one gulp wasn't the way to relax them...Ignoring him, she made another drink and then went into the living room. Mikey was on the floor with his back against the wall. Gerard and Jamia were sitting on the couch. Not looking anyone in the eye, Sarah sat down next to Mikey. Frank walked in and handed Jamia a drink. She stared at the carpet, ignoring the tears that slid silently down her cheeks as she started to talk.
"I'm going to warn you right now, what I'm going to say is sad. It's depressing, and some of it will probably piss you off. I'll tell you that this is the sole reason why I have been avoiding you all for so long," she looked Gerard right in the eye, "It wasn't that I wanted to...I just didn't want to be dragging any of you down with me." She took a heavy sigh and a drink. "Right before I came here, I was staying with my mother. Fuckin' angry midgets...anyway, I was basically her only source of income, because she's too lazy to work, and she was pissed I was leaving. Well, she's been known to start fights for absolutely no reason, and that day it was with my sister for God knows what reason." Sarah took a deep breath, thinking about this was pissing her off and she couldn't afford to be angry right now... "I was packing my stuff into my car and she started with Jenny. Well Jenny's dealt with too much fighting already, so she tries to ignore her. She went into her room and shut herself away like she always does. I could only get her to open a little, but I let her know how close I was to her before I left...anyway, so my mom was yelling at her, and I was mad she would risk me having an attack; I didn't have an inhaler at that point. So I started yelling at her for Jenny cause she was making me mad. Well, she completely ignored me and slammed in Jenny's door, breaking something of hers. Her and Jenny started screaming, and I went in to referee. My mom's very irritating; she doesn't know when to quit, she is always right, and she doesn't care who she hurts. Well, I try not to get involved, but if she swings on Jenny, it's over. She knows this, but she never cares. Well, she was screaming in Jenny's face and Jenny tried to push her back. She fell and then she lunged at my sister and punched her hard as fuck in the face. I lost it; all my life she's fought me, she's chased away any chances of friends, kicked me out at three am, I was done. I freaked out; I grabbed her up, she is only four eleven, and flung her into the other room. I started hitting her and screaming myself; I must have screamed every reason I ever hated her at her right then. I remember her boyfriend trying to pull me away, but I wouldn't stop. In the end I was in the hospital, and when I came here, they made me sign a form saying I would see Dr. Corin."
Sarah still wouldn't look at them; she could feel Mikey's arm around her shoulder, though, and she took comfort in it. "When I came here, I had a fiancee. I never told him I was coming here because I knew if I told him I was seeing a therapist, he would leave me anyway. I was right; he found out and the phone call that followed was some of the most hurtful shit I ever had said to me. And that's including when I was in junior high with no friends. We were together for five years and known each other since we were ten. I never thought he could even think those things, but he did, and I had that to think about. I didn’t take it well. I had no friends out here, I can't work in my field I was seriously depressed. So...well, now I won’t say it was the brightest idea, but I seriously did not want to live another day. So I kinda took matters into my own hands..." She drained her glass and took off her jacket. She heard Jamia gasp, Frank was openly staring, and Gerard looked like he was really going to cry. Sarah stood up and walked into the kitchen; she didn't want to look at them just yet. She stood there for some time, just staring at the fridge while she finished off another drink. After making a new one, she re-entered the room. It felt good to not wear her coat for once. Usually, she never took it off. She sat back down, a little distance away from Mikey. She was sure he wouldn’t sit by her anymore now, anyway.
No one spoke for a while. They listened to the radio, and Sarah eventually wished she had kept the last part to her self. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, and Sarah felt like she had the plague. “If…you guys want to go now, I won’t be offended. We can pretend like I never told you anything,” she said after a bit.
“Do you seriously think we could walk away after that?” Gerard asked. “You obviously need to realize that having no friends is only going to make this worse. There’s no way in hell I could just get up now and act like I never knew you.”
His words made her feel weird; no one had ever declared their friendship quite like that before. “But-“
“No, Sarah, Gerard’s right. I would find myself worrying later that something had happened to you. I mean, I already had, and we hadn’t even known this yet. How did you really think you could make it on your own? I mean, eventually you might want to try, but I would hate to think of where Gerard would have been if he had tried it alone. You’ll eventually need somebody who understands.”
More silence. Sarah was no longer crying, but there was an uncomfortable lump in her throat that she couldn’t place with this feeling. It didn’t go away until Mikey scooted back to her side, and then she understood. She had been waiting for him to accept this the same as every one else. He put his arm back around her and said; “We would want to be here for you. Frankie is the one who harps on about how My Chem’s going to save lives, or something.”
Sarah gave an involuntary laugh, and Jamia finally spoke up, “Well, now I’ll feel bad if I beat you at Tony Hawk.”
Sarah scoffed and said, “You may beat me at Tony Hawk, but I’ll own you at Halo.”
“Whatever!” Jamia said, “I seriously doubt that.”
“I’ll take you right now, slightly drunk, and kick your ass.”
“You think so? Bring it on!” she replied, scooting down so she was in front of the TV. Sarah moved over also, and they duked it out for God knows how long. At some point they quit; they were both too drunk to remember which trigger fired which gun. They wound up just talking and listening to the radio, however, at around three a.m., Sarah realized everyone was sleeping but her and Mikey. Frank and Jamia were on the couch, and Gerard was passed out right next to her on the floor. Mikey was still leaning against the wall, looking at her.
“What?” she asked. Under normal circumstances she would have felt nervous, but right then she didn’t get it.
“Nothing, are you feeling better now?”
“Yes, actually, I am. You tired? I think you’ll find my bed comfortable. If I sleep out here Gerard’s not going to kick me, is he?” She asked.
“I’m not taking your bed, let me sleep on the floor.”
“No way, I can’t do that, it’s bad enough Gerard is on the floor.”
“It’s not the first time he’s passed out on someone’s floor. And really, I can’t do that.”
“Mikey, don’t be stupid…” she said. She got up and retrieved a few blankets and a pillow for Frank, Jamia and Gerard, and then went back to get her favorite pillow off the bed. She took the pink blanket and left Mikey the Harry Potter one. (Yes, dork, she was well aware.) When she turned around, however, to walk back out, Mikey was standing behind her with a very hard to read look on his face, though his arms were crossed.
“Here, I didn’t think you’d want the pink one, so I took it. I don’t have the best pillows, though, sorry.” She tried to walk past him, but he refused to let her by. “Fine, I’ll sleep on the floor in here, then.”
“Now you’re being stupid,” he said, pushing her back onto the bed. As a reflex, she dropped what she was holding and reached out to grab him so she wouldn’t fall. Bad idea. Next thing she knew, Mikey was lying on top of her on the bed, and she was a deep red color in the face.
“Well, now, I can’t argue with that, but how would you really feel in the morning?” he asked softly. “Though if I do say so myself, I rather favor sleeping in my jeans.”
Even though her brain was a little cloudy, she was suddenly feeling wide-awake. She caught his meaning clearly, and was frozen there, unsure of what to do. She had always been bad at things like this. “Well, I suppose you could sleep here too, but your brother’s going to make mad fun of you if he finds you with your clothes on in the morning.”
“Yea, well, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
That was good enough for her, and they did indeed sleep in the same bed. The only part Sarah got wrong was the part about Gerard. He looked rather smug in the morning, but he did not poke fun. Not in front of Sarah, anyway.

The next few weeks were mainly the same. Sarah tried so hard to alienate everybody, and after another three weeks, Lily was threatening the key again. Sarah threatened to change the locks. Jamia and Gerard called her regularly, begging her to come see them. She ignored her house and cell phone, didn't answer her email, and refused to answer the door. It all came down to how she felt, and they way she felt was making her think that everyone was just trying to be nice.
It was looking good shortly after her talk with everyone, but then Sarah recieved a call from her best friend, who told her her ex was trying to find her. Suddenly, everything made Sarah cry. The thought of seeing her friends, the thought of what she lost to 'get better', she could not stop thinking about all the bad things in her life. No matter how much she talked to Dr. Corin, it didn't make her feel better. She had been avoiding medication (she had refused to be put on Zoloft or Prozac), but everytime she went to see the Doctor now, he hinted that she might need it. She kept forcing herself to say she could handle it. She really thought she could. To her, the constant crying was nothing new, why should she worry about it? She lied, telling him that she was just adjusting, but really when she went home, she was drinking. It had always helped her relax before, but now she couldn't sit at home without a bottle. She was really avoiding everyone because she didn't want them to know what she was really going through. She was kind of paranoid that they were just pitying her, or she was scared of what they thought. The thought of that made her cry too. It was four weeks to the day that everyone had been at her house, when Mikey called her house number.
"Sarah? Sarah, please answer the phone. I'm worried about you, I really mean it. Gerard's scared you're going to do something uneccessary, and I really just want to see you. I know you're home...I also know Lily has a key...please don't make me use it, Sarah."
Scared, she snatched the phone off the hook. "She told you she has a key? What the fuck?" she cried into the phone. Mikey was the worst source of pain for her. She liked him so much, it hurt her to think he would never like her back. Her biggest psycosis at the moment was the fact that she knew he would never like someone he would have to take care of. Someone like her. Why would he want to suffer through a repeat of what he went through with his brother? She was convinced that guys like him would never have any stronger feeling than friendship for a girl like her.
"Yes, she told me she has a key. I'm worried about you, and we're all scared of what you're doing there by yourself. We haven't seen you in four weeks."
"Mikey, I can't put this any other way. I'm fine. I'm just getting myself ready for the next step. Things are going great and I'm okay."
"You're a worse liar than Gerard was. And I can hear you stuttering. Are you drinking? You really shouldn't be," Mikey said.
The conversation was getting out of her control, and she could feel another episode coming on. There was a heavy lump in her throat and her vision was getting blurry. She could feel her heart beating in her chest. She blurted out what she was thinking before she could stop herself. "Mikey, I can't talk to you, it hurts too much. I-I gotta go, why don't you call Lily back, she can explain better than me. AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T COME TO MY HOUSE."
She hung up and started bawling. It was all too much. Talking about everything only made it harder to get over it. To deal with it was out of the question. Her phone rang again. It was Lily. "Sarah, why did you hang up on Mikey?"
"Why the hell do you think, huh? I can't even hear his name without bursting into tears. I was a fucking retard to think he would like me back, Lily! Are you such an idiot that you can't see that? Why the fuck would he want to be bothered with all my probelms? They're my probelms."
Lily didn't say anything for a minute. "Sarah, I'm worried about you. Why won't you let dad put you on Zoloft? I really think it will help you?"
"NO FUCKING WAY, LILY!" Sarah barked. "That's like admiting I'm a fucking basket case! I already know I am, no drug's going to make me better!"
She was beyond bawling now. She didn't even know how she was articulating proper English. She didn't care. Somehow, she had to make Lily realize that no one was going to want her like this. She didn't want anyone to want her. She was drowning in depression and pain. It was like a never ending ocean of emotion that she had to control. It was about control with her, she had always done it, she still needed to do it.
"Sarah, darling, listen to me. I know what you're dealing with, but sometimes, you can't do it alone. You need a support group, Sarah. You can't control what's happening to you, Sarah, and just because you take Zoloft doesn't mean your a basket case. There are hundreds of people in the world who have learned to cope with their depression because of it."
"I have to control it, Lily, I'm strong, I can do it," Sarah cried.
"Sarah, you can't, and I'm sorry, I know how much it means for you to be on top of this, but...please, let us help you."
"I don't want help, Lily, I just don't. I want to be alone..." Lies. It was all lies. All she desperately wanted was love. Someone she knew loved her anyway. Someone she could trust with how she was really feeling. She had almost had that before, but then... the thought of other, normal people who were happy. That was yet another thing that made her cry...She was embarrassed to be seen with people like that, people like Mikey and his friends...
"Sarah, I want you to go see dad tomorrow. I know you're not supposed to, but go in as an emergency, he'll see you." Sarah just cried. Talking to Lily had broken the floodgate. It had been a good few hours since she last cried.
"Fine, whatever."
"You said you would, you told me you never go back on your word."
"I said I'd go, okay? Leave me alone!" and she hung up on her too.
An hour later, Sarah was lying on the couch, drinking the last of the jack. This made the third bottle in four days. She had last seen Dr. Corin four days ago, in the morning. As she was thinking about seeing him tomorrow, she heard a key in her lock, and then Jamia was standing in her living room.
"What fucking part of I want to be miserable ALONE DON'T YOU FUCKING PEOPLE GET!!??" she screamed. She tried to push J out of the door, but Jamia was sober and had her balance. As if she were completely expecting this, Jamia stood her ground and shoved her back twice as hard. She did not look angry; merely determined. She pinned her down; Sarah knew now that she was stuck no matter what. She cussed as Frank, Gerard and Mikey followed her in.
"It's around here somewhere, find it. Dump it down the sink. Look EVERYWHERE," Mikey ordered.
"FUCK YOU GUYS! I HATE ALL OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!" she screamed, fighting J harder than ever.
"Nice try," Gerard said, kneeling next to her. "I tried all of that shit when my brother tried to take my stash away. I know you don't mean it."
"Fuck you!" she yelled. Despite the fact that she was drunk, she didn't lose steam for awhile. She screamed at them as she watched Mikey and Frank dump a twelve pack of Smirnoff, another fifth of Jack and a liter of Captain Morgan's down the drain. She had been stocked; she hated going out when she didn't have to. She cried when it was over. She refused to talk to them, and she just lay on the floor after J got up. She stared at the ceiling, already plotting how to get more. She was feeling panicked already about not having any.
"Sarah, talk to us. At least yell at us," Mikey said.
A lot of anger that had nothing to do with him was suddenly reaching boiling point. I forgot to mention how guilty she felt after she had any of her normal thoughts. And then angry because she didn't have 'normal' feelings or thoughts. "You FUCKING TRAITOR!" She screamed. "How could you just come in here and do that to me? I thought WE WERE FRIENDS!" She sat up as she said the last three words.
Mikey did not look the least perturbed by her behavior. "You know, Gerard said the same thing to me when I flushed a 300 dollar bag of coke down the toilet."
Sarah had no reply to this. "And if I had a dollar for every time he locked himself in his room and screamed obscenities at me, I could retire."
"You could retire anyway," she snapped.
"You know what I mean. He also tried everything else you tried. He said it was great when it wasn't, he hid from us, he hit us, kicked us, every thing. You know where he ended up. He only started dealing with it when he accepted it and let someone help him. And even then he didn't say we were helping him. He just started opening up, finally."
She flopped onto the couch, and crossed her arms. This lasted for about ten seconds as she started to think about what Mikey said. The she started to cry again, and Mikey kneeled down in front of her. "You don't have to start tonight, but if you don't try, it will never go away..." he whispered. Sarah threw her arms around him and didn't let go for a long time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I just...I can't ignore the truth any more. I was trying to do it myself; the depression was making me paranoid. I was scared of what you all really thought of me. I didn't want to force myself on you guys...there was so much...I really am so sorry..." she mumbled.
"We know you didn't mean it. We wanted to be here for you, Sarah, and when you're ready for us, we will be here." Frank sat down next to Mikey and looked at her. "Promise you won't hide anymore. It's not helping you."
She sniffled. "You guys have to make me. I'll tell you right now, I've always hid. I can't..."
Gerard looked over his brother's shoulder, "You remember you said that, because if there's anyone who won't back down, it's me. I understand better than any of them what you need. And I'll do it, Sarah. So you all are my witness, she said we could make her."
Sarah was suddenly scared. She had admitted something deep to them, said it out loud. She felt horrified.
"Why do you look so scared of us?" J asked softly.
"She just told us something." Gerard looked her in the eye, "Something I think I can safely say she has yet to admit to the Doctor."
Sarah covered her face with her hands. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she would betray herself again. Someone brushed a finger across her cheek, wiping away her tears. She lost it again. It was all happening too fast. She wanted to admit everything to them right there, throw it all out and have them lay judgment already. And then she was blurting out every feeling and thought she had felt guilty about these last four weeks. J sat behind her on the couch and wrapped her arms around her from behind. The guys sat there, listened to everything; there was no fidgeting, no sighing. Gerard looked sad, Mikey looked interested (maybe he liked taking care of people) and Frank looked impassive.
"Do you really think that you're the only one who's ever felt like that? I argued for three hours with Brian about killing myself. I really wanted to do it...I gave him hundreds of reasons to let me. He fought me tooth and nail, and I'm glad he won. I finally realized that someone would have missed me. Even if I am related to him."
Frank reached over and punched Gerard as hard as he could. "Fuck you, then."
"See? I made my point. Frank would have missed me, and behind you, J is giving me the hangman."
Sarah turned around, and sure enough, J was giving Gerard a very dirty look.
"You guys...I...require a lot of attention. I annoy myself sometimes. There's nothing that won't set me off now days. Other people happy? I cry. Other people sad? I cry. Things that remind me of Jason or Mikey? I cry. Seeing the Doctor...you get the idea. And the things we talk about just make it worse. I stopped thinking about those things years ago..."
Mikey wrapped his arms around her and said; "I've wanted to cry thinking about you lately too. We were scared, Sarah," he whispered in her ear.
"I spent the last four weeks convincing myself you guys were just pitying me..."
Frank reached around Mikey and playfully hit Sarah in the head. "Even you can't be that foolish. Who would spend time with someone they didn't want to?"
She didn't reply. She would have shrugged, but Mikey was holding onto her too tightly.
"I know I can't tell you what to do, but I don't think you should drink for awhile. It's only making things worse," Mikey said.
Sarah shrugged. "It used to calm me down..."
"And now?" J asked.
"Now I panic at the thought of not having any in the house."
Gerard gave her a knowing look. "I was the same way. I couldn't play a show or go to bed without drinking. A lot. I know you read Spin, I'm sure you know how I ended up. You don't need it. You feel less guilty about anything that might happen afterwards."
She nodded. Franks' cell phone rang. "Hello?"
"You should come over tomorrow night. We'll hang out," Gerard said.
"If you want..."
"I asked, didn't I? No, you know what? You are coming; I'm not asking you, I'm telling you."
She grinned and went a bit red. "Okay, Gerard, you win. I'll come over."
"Good, and you better have been reading the book I gave you, or I swear, I'll kick your ass."
"Yea, I'm pretty small, you probably could."
"It's no fun if you don't fight back." he grinned. Mikey hit him.
"You guys, that was Bob, we're late." Frank interrupted them.
"Alright, Mikey, are you coming?"
He shook his head and Sarah felt her stomach give a nervous jolt. "You don't have to stay..." she said.
"Are you kidding? I'm staying. I'll see you later, Gerard," he replied, letting her go finally and standing up.
They all left, making Sarah promise to call, and then she and Mikey were alone. She sat on the couch, staring at the carpet. He locked the door behind them and sat down next to her. "What?"
"You sure you're not mad about what I said?"
"I promise. You're not mad we wasted, like, sixty dollars worth of liquor and beer?"
"No, you guys had a good reason. I just...thank you. No one has ever...I mean, ya know, done anything like that. Only real friends would be bold enough to do something like that."
"We were really worried about you. And Lily's not allowed to tell us anything because you see her dad. She was afraid of violating confidentiality laws."
Sarah shrugged, "You'd be better off if she did tell you. At least then everything would make sense."
"It's your business, not ours. But it doesn't make us worry any less knowing it all anyway. It just means you're going to need us more than before."
They sat there in silence for a minute, and then suddenly it was like the last four weeks never happened. She leaned against him, and he held onto her for a long time. They talked minimally, but it wasn't uncomfortable. They watched the Family Guy and it was the first enjoyable night she'd had in ages.

The next day at the office, they discussed Junior High. "What is there to say about it? I had no friends and that's when my desire to write came out. I always had pen and paper."
"You mean to tell me that you didn't have one person you could talk to at all?"
"Not unless they were making fun of me. I had a girl who was my friend for half of eighth grade, but she doesn't count."
"Why not?"
"Because it was like, two months. We didn't really have time to develop a relationship."
"No, I suppose that's true. You can't tell me anything else significant about Junior High?"
"I cut school for the first time, and that's when the fights with my mother started. She started drinking heavily again and I stood up to her more."
"Like how?"
"We argued all the time, she was paranoid I was doing drugs and having sex."
"Were you?"
"No, I didn't have sex until I was sixteen."
"What convinced you to do it then?"
"We're not that far into my lifeline yet, Doctor," Sarah said darkly.
"Fine," he said, "what about the drugs? Were you doing that?"
"No, I never tried anything until I was graduated."
"Did you drink?"
"No."
"How often did you and your mother fight?"
"At least a few times a week. By high school it was guaranteed I would come in every Monday with another story."
He grimaced. "That often?"
"Yes, and by tenth grade I would come to school at least three times a month with marks or wounds."
"Wounds?"
"Yes, in Eleventh Grade, she bit me."
"She bit you?"
"Yes, stop repeating me. That mark lasted for three months. I had like, a verbal waiver with my friends. They all knew what they were risking witnessing when spending the night."
"But you had friends?"
"Oh, yes. There was a girl who went to my Junior High. We never had class together but we knew each other by sight. We had Study Hall together in Freshman year, and that was it. I never had so much fun, or got into so much harmless trouble."
"Harm-what do you mean?"
"Like the day this boy brought frosting to school. I beat him up and took it, and we ate the whole can in about fifteen minutes. We had to stand for the rest of the period. But it was SO funny. I was dancing, and singing, and everyone was laughing at me-it was great."
“You made yourself the center of attention a lot then, I take it?”
“Yea, I was never quiet again. I never took any shit from people again, either. I bullied the bullies, made fun of the popular people and threatened anyone who crossed me. But I was dead loyal to the friends I did have. It was never a lot, really, but I was close to them all the same."
“So was High School mostly comprised of fighting with your mom and going to school?”
“Yea. I got kicked out for the first time in eleventh grade too. Around three am.”
“What did you do?”
“Called my sister a useless piece of shit. So we argued and she threw me out,” Sarah shrugged.
“Why did you say that to your sister?”
“Cause she was. My mother favored her because she had to see so much fighting between her and her father. We argued about that all the time too.”
“What about your father?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Obviously you do.”
“Yea, well, I never asked who he was, and she never told me. So, I don’t have one.”
This meeting was not nearly as hurtful as the others; Sarah found it much easier to talk about High School that any other part of her life. They were almost caught up; she wondered what they would talk about after that.

That day she called Mikey on the way home; he was at Frank’s, so Sarah just stopped on the way. “How are you?” he asked when she sat down.
“Good, actually. High School’s not nearly as bad as Middle School or Junior High was.”
They didn’t reply, but Gerard came out of the bathroom and demanded she show him what she learned at D&D. “Gerard, I-“
“You didn’t even bother reading it, did you?” He sounded hurt.
“Um, I read a little bit. I was finding it hard to focus on anything right then,” she said, feeling guilty.
“Fine, but I swear, you better be ready by next week, or I’ll make my brother kick your ass.”
“Ooo, Mikey, I’m scared!” she said jokingly.
“I could beat you up,” Mikey said.
She laughed. "Um, Mikey, you weigh as much as I do, that's impossible."
He raised an eyebrow. For two reasons. One, she was laughing. Two, she was making fun of him. "Oh, really? I'll take you right now, and win."
"Mikey, I'm not Gerard. I can kick your ass."
"What are you trying to say about me?" Gerard demanded.
"Um..." she grinned. "Nothing..." she added in a sing-songy voice.
Her behavior was offsetting. Everyone exchanged a look before deciding to go with it.
"Talkin shit...Mikey, take care of my light work."
"Pshh, what, you can't?"
Gerard shoved Mikey over. "Fine, I'll kick her ass myself."
Sarah stood up and raised her fists. She was smiling and she said; "If I should break anything, it's Gee's fault."
J laughed too. "Yea, well, it's Frank's house. I'm sure he'll punish him appropriately." She nodded and Sarah laughed really hard.
"I KNEW you were GAY!" she said, letting her guard down. Gerard turned deep red and pushed her over. "Asshole!" She cried, laughing harder as she held her stomach.
"I am NOT gay!" he said. "I-"
"So you're bi. Who gives a shit, I'm gay too."
Silence greeted her words.
"Oh, don't tell me you never noticed? Rainbow shoelaces, rainbow sticker on my car..." she rolled her eyes at Gerard and took Mikey's offered hand.
"Well, um..." J just kind of looked at the floor.
"J, rest assured, I'm not going to hit on you."
"Why not?" Frank asked.
"Because guys always get jealous when their girlfriends start paying me attention. Other guys girls are off limits."
"Well, uh, thanks. I think."
She shrugged and flopped down on the couch. "You didn't exactly kick my ass. We'll rematch later."
Gerard nodded and took the empty armchair. "Tomorrow," he promised.