Follow Your Bliss

I shut the door behind me shift and smiled seeing the dogs laying in the bay window, basking in the sun's warmth. I think they actually have been depressed since we've gotten home from my parents. They no longer have the big yard to run around in nor the freedom to go in and out of the house as they please.

They both looked up at me before lying back down and going back to sleep.

I yawned, tired from just getting in from working a seven to seven shift; my schedule has been all over the place. I kicked off my sneakers and dropped my bag next to them.

I stripped out of my shirt and pants and dumped them in the hamper. I saw Gerard snoring lightly in my bed. I crawled under the covers and kissed his nose.

He made a face before blinking a few times. "Hey you."

"Hi." I smiled and snuggled up to him. "It's going to be a hot day out today."

"Mm. Great." Gerard said sarcastically and kissed my head. "Jane, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything sugar." I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes.

He chuckled. "How would you like to come work with me?"

"Like sit in the back when you guys do an interview sometime?" I yawned.

He took a deep breath. "No, like be our personal nurse and really work on tour with me?"

I opened my eyes and looked up at him to see that he was being completely serious. "I uh. I don't know what to say."

He kissed my forehead. "Then, just say yes."

I sighed. I knew it wasn't realistic as much as I wanted to. His smile disappeared when I was taking so long to answer. "I don't think it's possible."

"Oh." Gerard said disappointed.

"It's just too short notice." I tried to explain.

"I get it Jane." He forced a smile, breaking my heart that I couldn't give him what he asked of me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Don't worry about it." He kissed my forehead again before slipping out of my arms and getting out of bd. "I got to get dressed and take a shower. Get some sleep; you look tired."

I nodded as my eyes closed against my will. My mind was racing a mile a minute, feeling guilty, but my body just succumbed to sleep.

When I woke up a few hours later, the Gerard was still not there. I sighed and got out of bed striping out of my underwear and socks. I turned on the warm water and took a quick shower. I didn't want to say cooped up inside.

I changed into a light dress I found in my closet along with a pair of flip-flops. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a few snacks tossing them into my bag. I filled up a container of water and grabbed a paper bowel for the bag, putting those in my bag among other things to keep me occupied.

I went back into my bathroom and put in my contacts, not feeling like wearing my glasses. I dried my hair so it was at least damp and just left it to do whatever it felt like. I was in no mood to fight with it today. I put on my sunglasses and my hat feeling in a tres chique mood.

I grabbed the bottle of sunscreen off the counter and rubbed some on. I tossed that in the bag too. I grabbed my wallet and cell phone out of my workbag and tossed into the purse I was using for today. I grabbed my keys out of the bowl and the dogs' leashes. I tucked the blanket under my arm to lie down on.

I laughed seeing there ears perk up as they came to life, hearing their leashes. "Come on guys." I chuckled putting it on them. I balanced their leashes and my stuff as I locked the door behind me.

"Hello Ms. Hack." The doorman held the door open for me.

"Hey, Charles." I smiled and thanked him. I walked down the block and crossed Madison Avenue when the white person was light up over the crosswalk, signaling it was safe enough to cross the street.

I smiled to myself, seeing the families having fun together visiting the Big Apple. It reminded me when my family spent the whole day here during the summer ourselves.

We would see a play, whether it was on Broadway or off, and go out to dinner, usually at Hop Lee in China town or to a pizza parlor where the cops usually hung out. My parents taught me since I was younger, that if a cop ate at a restaurant, you knew that it was safe, good, and usually cheap.

I sighed in relief when I saw the park come into view. I just needed to be away from the steel and cement and near trees and grass.

There were many people in the park today. I don't blame them; it was beautiful out, though slightly humid.

I laid down the blanket in a spot under the sun. I just needed to feel it's warm against my skin.

I rolled my eyes when the dogs took up half the blanket with their small bodies. I took out a few of their toys and tossed it to them. They immediately pounced on them and began to play to their hearts content.

I smoothed out my dress before lying on my back next to them, letting my hat shift forward to cover my face.

I shifted the leashes into my left hand to give them more length. I closed my eyes and let my other senses take over.

I heard the innocent laughter of children in the distance, possibly on their way to the zoo to feed the lamas. My hair stood on end as the sun reached my skin welcoming the vitamin D.

As much damage the sun has the power to cause, I loved the feeling it gave when it washed the cold away. It always has the ability to help me relax enough to fall into a catnap.

"I figured we'd find you here." I heard in the distance. I shrugged, thinking the person was addressing someone else, and shifted into a comfortable position.

The next thing I knew, my hat was yanked off. "Don't think you can ignore me just because I'm pregnant."

I adjusted my sunglasses and looked up to see Christa and Alicia standing over me. "Hey."

"Don't hey me." Christa huffed as she plopped down next to me.

"What's wrong?" I looked at them confused and sat up slightly, onto my elbows.

Alicia pouted. "You're not going to come be on the team with me?"

I looked at her confused, as the gears worked slowly in my head, trying to figure out what she was talking about. My smiled disappeared. "The tour." I muttered.

"No biggie kid." She ruffled my hair.

I sighed and laid back down on the blanket. "I think Gerard and I had our first major fight. I mean we didn't say much, but he just left me." I snapped my fingers. "Like that."

"He's just upset." Alicia ran her fingers through my hair comfortingly.

"No kidding." Christa rolled her eyes chuckling. "He came to our apartment this morning. It was so weird having him there; he practically lives with you. But, we were kicked out when they wanted to talk."

"Talk? About what?" I asked and smiled when Olivia climbed over my legs to get a leaf.

"Jee, I wonder." Alicia laughed, flicking me in the head.

"Ow." I rubbed my forehead.

"So, how are you feeling?" Christa asked.

I sat up and sighed. "Kind of guilty, and weird. I think; I'm not too sure." I laughed at how confused I was over my emotions. I really wasn't sure exactly what it was that I felt at the moment. "Besides, it's not like I could even go with them for fun to England. There's this little book. Now, I don't know if you've heard of it before. But, it's kind of called a passport. You kind of need it to go into another country."

Christa pushed me making me fall back. "No need to be snippy missy."

"No need to be so pushy." I sat back up, pulling my dress back down before it could ride up past my underwear. "You ladies are so violent today."

Alicia rested her head in the palm of her hand and scratched Logan's stomach with her other. "That is a problem though."

"Well, why don't we go back, drop the dogs off, grab you papers that you'll need, and run over to a post office?" Christa shrugged. "It couldn't hurt to have one, even if it's to just visit or go on vacation yourself."

I thought it over and realized that I would need one for July anyway. "Okay."

Alicia grinned standing up. "Come on then." She grabbed my left wrist to look at my watch. "It's only two, we'll have plenty of time."

"Two?" I looked at my watch to confirm it. "I was here for a couple of hours already?"

"Sleeping." She grinned and helped up Christa.

I grabbed the dogs toys and put them in my purse before folding up the blanket, which was a harder task than one can imagine, with the two dogs tugging at the other end constantly.

"What time do you have to work tonight?" Christa asked as she helped me get untangled from the dogs' leashes.

I placed my hat back on and grabbed my schedule out of my bag. "From six to two."

"You're all over this week." Alicia looked at me schedule seeing a few double shifts here and there.

"Yeah, I'm filling in for some people I guess." I smiled tired, probably from lying in the sun for so long.

It was hotter in the apartment than outside. I let the dogs off their leashes and went around the room shutting the blinds. I went to one of the cabinets in the kitchen and grabbed out the small carrying safe, where I kept all my important documents. I grabbed the one of the keys that I kept in the breadbox.

"Hey, Christa." Alicia nodded her head with an amused smile on her lips. "Now we know where to rob Caitlin if we need to."

"You're not supposed to reveal your plans dumbass." She laughed.

I shrugged unlocking the beige safe. "There's no money in here. It's just fire and waterproof so the papers will be safe in here."

"Huh, that's a good idea." Christa shrugged, taking a sip of her water. "I wonder what Ray does."

I grabbed my social security card and birth certificate, figuring to take both documents to be on the safe side. "Ready?"

"I'm going to stay here." Christa put the empty glass in the sink. "I'm too tired to go for a drive. Maybe I can find out some info on Gee for you."

"Alright." Alicia gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Go be a good little spy for us."

I chuckled. "See you later babe."

"Alright, girl; let's get going." Alicia stood up putting Olivia on the ground.

The man in the post office gave me a bunch of papers to fill out. He also informed me that it would take at least a few days for the paperwork to go through to get my passport.

I sighed, thankful that I finally finished filling everything out, when we sat comfortably in the car with the AC on. "That was painful."

"Yeah, but at least you're going to get it within the week since it's the end of summer." Alicia reasoned. "When I renewed mine, it was January, when everyone else was doing the same, so it took at least three weeks, or something like that, to get my new passport."

I smiled for her since she was trying to make light of the treacherous task. "So, where too?"

"Feel like dropping me off at my place?" Alicia gave me the puppy works.

"No need for begging." I laughed. "Where are you and Mikey shacked up?"

She chuckled. "In Park Slope."

I grinned. "Those neighborhoods are so beautiful. I made my friend, Jez, stop by there when we were going to the Botanical Gardens, so I could take some pictures. It was in May too; just perfect."

"Yeah, it's a nice place." Alicia smiled and directed me how to get to their apartment after crossing the Battery Tunnel.

I smiled after I parked the car in front of the building. "You even have flower bed windows."

She laughed at my reaction. "That's Tina's doing. She's on the first floor. Mikey and I are up on the top."

She showed me the floor that they owned, which was just as gorgeous as the outside. I heard my cell phone going off in the kitchen. "Hello?"

"Caitlin, we can't get in touch with Estelle again." My dad sighed. "Grandpa and Janet have been calling all day."

I laughed at the irony. "Well, I happen to be in Brooklyn if you want me to stop by."

My dad paused contemplating before answering. "Call her one more time and then, if you don't mind, that'll calm Grandma down."

"Sure thing, love ya." I smiled.

"Love you too princess." My dad's smooth voice comforted me.

"Everything okay?" Alicia asked handing me a water bottle.

I sighed. "I hope it is. My dad's aunt kind of disappeared on us again."

"Again?" She raised an eyebrow, curious.

"Yup." I dialed her number waiting for it to ring. "She's legally blind and practically deaf. It's kind of hard not to lose her. But, she lives on her on, her choice, so my grandma gets worried sometimes."

I sighed when I heard her answering machine. "Estelle! It's Robbie's daughter, if you get this, give Ray a call."

"Talk louder hun, I don't think Christa heard you." Alicia teased.

"Ha, ha." I rolled my eyes.

Her house phone rang. "Hello?" She looked up at me. "Yeah, but she's on her way out."

I had a good guess who Alicia was talking too. "I got to get going."

"Do you want me to tell him where you're going?" Alicia asked me covering up the phone with her palm.

I shrugged picking up my bag. "You can tell them whatever you'd like. But, I've got to get going if I'm going to find my aunt and make work on time."

"Alright hun." She gave me a hug and walked me to the downstairs giving a little small talk on the phone as we descended.

I waved goodbye in from the car, watching her sit on the front stoop talking to wither Gerard or his brother, would be my best guess.

It took a little while longer to get to Brighton Beach. As you went south in Brooklyn it wasn't as up kept, but it could be worse I suppose. I parked the car on Ocean Parkway, finally finding a spot. I paid the meter for two hours just in case.

The breeze from the ocean blew my hair. I walked up the block to the deli to get some dinner for Estelle and I. The man that served me had a thick Russian accent. The area was known for the Russian Jews as well as the Russian mafia.

That didn't unnerve me though. My dad said that it was probably safer to live in an area with them.

I laughed seeing her on the bus bench below her apartment building. I sat down next to her.

"Hello?" She asked not looking at me, her grip tightening on her white cane.

I smiled putting my hand over hers. "Aunt Estelle. It's Caitlin, Robbie's daughter."

"Sarah's son?" Estelle looked in my general direction.

"Yeah." I said softly. "Everyone's been looking for you."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "They have too much time on their hands."

"Maybe so." I shrugged. "But, you're important to Grandma."

"She's a good sister." Estelle smiled. "Well, you've found me. Leiben ahf dein kop."

"Listen I got dinner for you. I have to go to work in a little while, but first Ray and Robbie want to know you're alright." I helped her stand up.

"Got in himmel." She mumbled as she stood up frustrated with getting old. "I came outside for some fresh air." I noticed her accent as well as she talked. "The cleaning lady finally left. I had to stay to make sure she doesn't use too much bleach." I smiled following her up to her apartment.

I took the knife out of the drying rack and cut our sandwiches in half. "Ouch." I sucked on my finger.

"What happened?" She asked reaching out taking hold of my wrist.

"Just a little nick." I rinsed it under the water.

"Ess vet zich oys-hailen far der chasseneh." She waved off my cut.

I chuckled at the expression. It meant, 'It will heal in time for the wedding.' It's a phrase that's said whenever a child gets hurt. It also implied that marriage was a cure all.

"Let me call Grandpa." I picked up the phone and dialed the his cell phone.

"You know, Caitlin, you've got a good kup on your shoulders." She smiled before taking the phone from me. "I can talk to him just fine. Hello Ray. Yeah, Caitlin's gebentscht with patience."

I laughed talking a bit out of my sandwich. I loved hearing when my relatives spoke German or Yiddish.