Follow Your Bliss

I smiled at the two-week-old infant; so tiny compared to a full termed baby. I pulled my hand from out of the opening hole of the incubator and closed it. I went over to the sink and washed my hands, while humming the entire song of Happy Birthday. A tune to remind one how long was a suitable length of time to scrub the germs off.

It was such a tedious process to wash one's hands, but so important. It had been engrained in our heads, since day one of the nursing program, of how vital it was to your hands in order to prevent a nonsacomial infection. Another term, that made myself and other students want to bash your head against the wall every time you heard it.

I tossed the paper towels in the trash bin. I sat at a free computer, logging in, and began to make sure all my documentation for all of my patients for my shift was done correctly.

An unfortunate time the world has come to, where everyone has become so sue-happy.

You have to be two steps ahead, all the time, to make sure that you're protected. It is an exhausting process that every nurse has to go through before they can end their shift.

Even if you finish up early with the patients, the paper work will keep you behind. And I find the electronic documentation to be so much more of a hassle than the 'old fashion' way, with paper and ink. Though, accessing old information on a patient is easier. Like, everything, there are pros and cons.

I logged off before I went down the hall to the employees' corridors. I turned the dial to my correct combination and sighed as I made yet another mistake, making me begin the process again. I never get those locks on the first try.

I grabbed my backpack and made sure I had everything inside before going back up to the main desk and clocking out for the night.

"Have a good night, Caitlin." Gina smiled.

"Thanks." I pulled my coat closer. "You too."

Although the city has been having a freak of weather lately, with the temperatures in the 50's and sometimes higher lately, I am just too tired to warm up.

Blame it on my diurnal rhythm. My pressure was always lower in the early, early morning instead, making me freezing around then.

I sighed in relief as the elevator doors closed.

I had about five patients to look after carefully, especially considering the unit I worked, and I was tired. It's almost as bad as having nine needy patients in rehab, something I would never wish for upon someone.

However, I would not be seeing my bed any time soon. I made a promise to Jez to come by and bring coffee to help wake her up. I groaned thinking about driving all the way to the Bronx.

But, a promise is a promise.

I took my keys out of my bag so I had them handy and walked out the side entrance of the hospital.

The wind blew my hair in my face. I took my sidekick out and saw I had a few messages in my inbox. I placed it back in my pocket, figuring that I'd wait until I was safe inside to check them.

I parked a couple of blocks away from the hospital in a designated spot of medical employees. I headed in the opposite direction to the 24-hour Starbucks on the corner.

There was a line of people waiting for their orders. I stepped up to the cashier and smiled. "Grande Iced Black Tea and uh," My eyes scanned the board for something Jez would like. "A Caramel Mocchiato, same size." I ordered for her, figuring I'd go with something easy.

I paid the woman and sat in a chair seeing I had a bit to wait. I took out my sidekick again and smiled in anticipation, hoping that the uncheck message would be from Gerard. I couldn't wait any longer. I sighed seeing the message was from Jez, but had to laugh at her text.

I need my caffeine woman!

I was ready to look at the other message, but my order was called out before I got the chance. I slide the screen down back in place and placed it back in my coat pocket.

It always amazed me, how the people that work in Starbucks just popped up and disappeared before you had the chance to thank them. It was a bit freaky, actually.

I took the two drinks over to the side and slide on the cardboard protectors. I took the lid off of Jez's drinks and added the honey and cream to how she likes it.

I smiled to myself as I left Starbucks. I've always liked coffee since I was two years old, drinking the black coffee out of my grandparents' mugs. But, never would I have figured that I needed my coffee to survive the days sometimes.

I sighed happily as I walked to my car under the trees lit with white Christmas lights. I was excited for this holiday; it was my favorite one too and I couldn't wait to spend it with Gerard.

I pressed the button once on the key chain, starting the car and unlocking the driver's door. I opened the door and slide in the driver's seat and locked to door behind me first then, sticking the key into the ignition.

I turned the music on low and let my bag plop on the passenger's seat not caring much about its contents.

Don't have to go on for a bit. Call me, sugar! I love you!!!

I smiled and scrolled down to Gerard's name. I put in the bluetooth earpiece and clicked the highlighted name. I set the Sidekick in the small cubby when I heard the first ring and took the car out of park.

"Hello my sexy Jane." He answered his phone happily.

"Why, hello my noble dragon." I laughed remembering that day in the park with the silly string.

He chuckled. "How was work?"

"Tiring, but fulfilling as always." I smiled, just happy to hear his voice. "I'm going to visit Jez at Montefiore. So, you have the pleasure of keeping me company as I drive to the Bronx. If you have the time."

"For you?" Gerard paused teasing me. "I have the time. Did you end up going out last night?"

I smiled, "Yeah, with a few of the girls I work with and the security guards. It was nice to get out for a bit, even if it was just for drinks."

"So what time is she working until?" He asked referring to Jez.

I looked over my shoulder before merging onto the Henry Hudson. "She did the seven to seven shift."

"You're not going to stay there long, are you?" He asked concerned, knowing that I was tired, which just made me melt.

"Nope." I laughed softly. "I'm just delivering her caffeine boost."

I heard him sigh. "I just worry about you when you're out late on your own. And, taking another late shift instead of the regular shift you promised me."

"I know you do, but I make sure I take extra precaution to make sure I'm safe." I chuckled. "And, I won't stay long because the dogs have to be run out one more time for the night."

"And when you do make sure-"

I smiled and interrupted him. "That I have a doorman go with me. They know the drill Gee. I'm sure you lectured them enough before you left."

Gerard laughed. "I love you, Jane."

I smiled wider. "I love you too. So, how was the drive from Seattle?" I asked knowing they had to be in Sacramento last night.

"Long." He yawned, stretching out his answer. "But, relaxing." I listened to him tell me stories from last night's show and the bus ride to California and what San Diego looked like at the moment, which helped keep me awake. "You almost there Jane?"

"Yeah," I said squinting my eyes looking for a parking spot off of E210th Street in front of the cemetery. "Score!" I grinned seeing a spot. "I just hit the jackpot, babe. A spot and no meter."

Gerard laughed. I turned the car off and gathered the coffee and my bag, sticking my sidekick in my pocket. "I hate saying goodbye." I heard him whisper.

"So, we say, talk to you later." I chuckled, trying to cheer him up. "Besides it's an almost an hour to your show, you should be pacing the room and shaking your hands." I heard someone laugh in the background. "Who was that?"

"Frank." Gerard laughed. "He says you have me down to a T."

"Of course I do." I giggled. "Is Frank chewing on his nails with a cig hanging out his mouth?"

"What do you think?" Gee laughed.

"I know." I sighed, grining. "I am amazing."

"That you are Jane." He breathed.

"Go pace." I smiled.

He chuckled. "I love you Jane."

"I love you too Gerard." I listened to hear when he hung up, before doing so as well, feeling better that I knew their long ride went okay.

I always swore that nursing wouldn't make me a worrywart. But, in some ways it definitely had that affect on me.

I took the earpiece out and placed it back in my glove compartment. I looked around briefly to make sure I had everything before stepping out of my car.

I pressed the other tiny button on my keychain to lock the car, setting its alarm. I walked down the two blocks to the emergency room entrance.

I smiled at the woman behind the desk, giving the potential patient a brief assessment. "Hey Ava."

She returned my smile kindly. "Jez is around back, Caitlin." Ava pushed the button to allow me around back.

"Thanks Ava." I said quickly so she could return back to the patient at hand.

"Took you long enough." Jez teased giving me a hug as she simultaneously grabbed her coffee, taking a greedy sip not caring if she would burn her tongue in the process.

"Good to see you too." I stuck my tongue out. I hung my coat over the chair and put my bag on the floor next to it. "Be happy; I got a spot only a couple of blocks down so it's still hot."

She rolled her eyes at me and sipped her coffee happily. "So how's the boyfriend?"

I smiled still on a rush from having just talked to him. "I actually got off the phone with him right before coming in. He's good though; getting ready for his show in a little while."

Jez smiled. "You look so happy right now."

I felt my cheeks heat up and smiled bashfully. "Well, I am happy right now." I rubbed my temples. "Uh, I have such a migraine."

"Did you take anything for it?" She asked concerned.

"Yeah, some Advil when I was at work. Which, might not have been wise since I had a few drinks last night." I sighed wishing some of the tension would go away.

"Ladies." An officer came over discretely, as to not attract any unnecessary attention to the patients already emitted behind the curtains no more than six feet away. "They're preparing to shut down the ER; stay by the desk until I know more." We nodded before he went back out to the front, probably to clear out the extra bodies.

I looked over at Jez, leaning on the counter of the nurses' station. "Do you know what's going on?"

She shook her head and looked over my shoulder. "Can I help you?"

In a matter of seconds, my life changed.

In a matter of seconds, I had never been so scared in my life as to what the next moment would bring.

A filthy arm wrapped quickly around my neck. My hands automatically went to the arm to pry it away from me, causing me to drop my iced tea.

The golden liquid went flying and the ice cubes slide across the stained linoleum floor.

But, the next sound was the last sound that I remembered and don't think that would ever forget.

The simple swoosh and click stopped my heart.

I saw Jez's fear stricken face and closed my eyes briefly hoping this was a dream.

But the feeling of a blade pressed against my side quickly brought me back to reality.

The man's hands were shaking, though, that didn't prevent him from holding me in his tight grasp. I vaguely heard him mumble a bunch of nonsense, not being able to comprehend anything at the moment.

I saw Jez slowly lower her coffee onto the counter and raised her hands as she tried to reason with the man.