Follow Your Bliss

The first thing Gerard saw when he opened the door was that every surface of the apartment was covered in flowers and 'Get well' cards. His stomach churned in nervousness, afraid of the type of condition I would be in when he saw me.

He looked over and saw both his and my mother on the couch drinking coffee, or tea in Christine's case, out of black ceramic mugs. "The place is covered."

Christine smiled warmly at him. "From family, friends, and even fans of yours and Josh's."

"We have boxes full from them." Donna added, chuckling.

"How is she?" His voice cracked so he cleared his throat.

"She's tired." Donna smiled, giving her son a hug to welcome him home and to comfort him. "Rob and your father passed out as well."

"You just missed yet another round of visitors for her that's why she so tired." Christine rubbed his arm to reassure him as well. "She's been recovering well though. Go on in there."

"She misses you." His mom smiled.

That was all that Gerard needed to hear before going down the hallway to their room. He chuckled seeing Logan and Olivia snuggled at the bottom of the bed. He quickly unlaced his boots and kicked them off, as well as his jeans.

Walking over quietly, he frowned wanting to lie next to me, but not wake me up. He sighed and took his chances lifting up the covers. He saw how a pillow laid on top of my side, probably over where the stitches were. He froze feeling me stir next to him.

I sniffled and groaned, turning onto my back. I rubbed my eyes before opening them and smiled seeing Gerard and ran my fingers through his black locks. "Hey, your hairs not blond anymore." Gerard swallowed, not able to form any words at the moment and stayed silent. My smiled faltered seeing a few tears gather in the corner of his eyes. "It's okay Gerard. I'm okay." I saw that my words didn't help. "Go on, cry if you have to," I said softly. And, he did for a few moments.

"When Ray told me what happened, Caitlin," he shook his head. "I couldn't breath. We all thought it was just some sick joke. But, then there were reports on the news later that night as well."

"Damn, I made it across the country." I teased, trying to lighten the tension, wiping away his tears.

Gerard glared at me, not finding any humor in the situation. "It's not funny."

"What else am I supposed to do?" I shrugged. "It sucks what happened to me Gerard, but I'm still here; that's what counts."

He nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck. "But, I don't know what I would do without you."

"You would mourn and then eventually move on." I ran my fingers through his hair, now fuller than the buzzed blond hair he had when I last saw him during Thanksgiving.

"No I wouldn't. I would have become an old bitter man." He chuckled.

I smiled, relieved that the heavy mood had been lifted. "Well, I'm glad we don't have to think about that."

"Me too," he murmured, kissing my neck. "I have to be honest, I don't think I would have handled seeing you all wired up in the hospital."

"I didn't handle it too well myself." I laughed softly. "They had to sedate me slightly when I woke up because I kept choking on the tube and couldn't calm down enough for them to remove it."

Gerard grimaced not liking to think of me in a vulnerable position and bit his lip. "Can I see it?"

I nodded and pulled the pillow back. My skin was covered in goose bumps under his touch as he rolled up my t-shirt. "How many?" He asked referring to the amount of stitches I received on my abdomen. He trailed his thumb adjacent to the long injury.

"I never counted, and didn't care to ask." I yawned.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told the guys to stop by." He chuckled seeing my tired state.

"No, it's fine." I smiled through half lidded eyes. "I'll just pass out later."

"They were really scared too." Gerard kissed my cheek and just held me. "I love you, Jane."

I sighed and melted in his arms. "I love you too, babe. You'll be happy to know after my sick days run out, I quit my job."

"You what?" Gerard looked at me surprised.

"Not for good," I assured him. "But, I need a break. Just some time to recover from all this, especially mentally."

"You'll need it." He nodded, understanding and happy with my decision. He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back until I fell back asleep.

"She's still alive right?" I moaned hearing a gruff voice wake me up.

"No shit." Gerard rolled his eyes and frowned when he saw I was awake. "Good going, Bob."

"Shut up." I mumbled, clinging onto Gerard's shirt. "You all are really annoying you know that?" I gazed around the bed, amazed that they all managed to fit in the queen size bed.

"Hey, we just were curious." Bob put his hands up defensively.

"What's for dinner?" I asked feeling hungry.

"No, hi how are you?" Frank pouted.

"Really," Ray huffed, playing along. "I mean I was the one that got the phone call and had to play messenger boy."

"What was I thinking? Where are my manners?" I said sarcastically as I grinned, really glad to see them. "How have you been? I've missed you guys harassing me."

"What happened to the guy that did this?" Mikey asked quietly.

I kicked my feet out from under the covers, ignoring Franks cry of surprise as I kicked him. "He's locked up. I pressed charges and gave a statement when I woke up. The police had enough without it, but it helped. I went to court the other day to testify."

"So what's the recovery like?" Bob asked.

"Well, it's not so bad. The liver regenerates pretty quickly enough so I'm lucky in that sense that that's what was stabbed. But, like you, I got an infection. Between that and loosing so much blood, I've been weak and tire easily. I have to watch what I drink, no alcohol for a while anyway." I joked. "I get the stitches out soon, though."

"There's pizza out there; I'll get it for you." Ray offered, remembering that I was hungry.

"Nah, I need to stretch out." I smiled, getting out of bed.

Christa rubbed her stomach as she sat with me in the small room, waiting. We were in a doctor's office in the building next to the hospital. "He needs to come out soon."

"You never found out the gender, how do you know it's a boy." I teased. "For all we know, Ray might be right and he'll get a daughter to spoil."

"Nah, I'm going to be right." She smiled. "He keeps saying the baby will be a girl because he wants a boy and doesn't want to hurt my feelings."

"So sweet." I chuckled and sighed impatiently. "Where is the doctor?"

"Right here." A woman, wearing a white lab coat over her work clothes entered the room. "I'm Dr. Ronstem," she introduced herself as she washed her hands and began to go through the cabinets for the supplies she would need. "Lay down for me."

They had to do an ultra sound to see what kind of healing was happening underneath to determine if the stitches would come out today. I closed my eyes, shivering slightly, as she put squeezed some cold jell out onto my upper right side.

I did as she told me, letting her lift up my shirt higher to get at the stitches. She smiled and looked at the screen, rubbing the Doppler gently along the stitches. "Seems like you're a fast healer. You'll be able to get the stitches out as planned."

"That's the best news I've heard in a while." I let out a breath of relief and smiled at Christa.

"We've needed good news after your incident," she returned my smile, never wanting to relive an event like that ever again. Those kinds of moments should stay in shows, like Law and Order.

Dr. Ronstem washed her hands again, only putting on a pair of gloves after drying them. She grabbed a bottle of iodine and rubbed it over my stitches to disinfect the area. Taking the stainless steel scissors off of the sterile area on the table, she began to undo the procedure that saved my life no more than a week ago.

I winced when she began to cut the knots and pull the pieces out of the healed skin. I concentrated on my breathing and the popcorn ceiling above me, trying to ignore the uncomfortable tugging at my skin.

She wiped off the extra iodine leaving my stomach an orange-brown for a few days, rubbing vitamin E on the skin to reduce scarring, and bandaged it up once more. "You can start taking showers again, but careful bending the skin is still fairly new there and can easily break open. I'll go get the papers for you to sign."

"Oh! My back, my back; it hurts." Christa winced, gripping the armrests of the chair.

"Where on your back?" I asked as my instincts kicked in.

She moaned slightly, still in pain. "My lower."

"Christa?" I smiled, looking her over slowly. "Isn't your due date soon?"

She laughed. "That's really not funny, Caitlin."

I looked at my watch and started timing the contraction anyway.

"Alright, I'll need you to sign right at the- is she okay?" Dr. Ronstem looked at Christa's pained face, as her muscles clenched up again, in complete concern.

I grinned at the unhappy, pregnant woman and glanced at my watch. "That was four minutes apart and changing your position did nothing to help."

In a whirlwind of slight commotion, mostly on Christa's behalf, I managed to sign the form and help get her transferred into the hospital, getting her emitted, since it was earlier than her registration date. I helped her with the necessary paper work having had helped explain it dozens of times for expecting mothers.

They guided her to an examination room, not seeing any reason to bring her to a birthing room just yet. It was odd standing on the other end with Christa as her nurse asked for urine and blood sample, checked her vitals, as well as ask the million questions that I had been trained to ask.

I called Ray's cell phone as well as the others, only to get their answering machines. I groaned, cursing them, remembering that they were in a middle of an interview being filmed for an upcoming episode of Steven's Untitled Rock Show.

"Everything's okay, right Caitlin?" Christa looked at me chewing on some ice chips.

"It will be; their phone's must be off or on silent. Give me yours and I'll start calling family and I'm sure Brian can get a hold of them so I'll try him." I smiled, speaking calmly so she wouldn't get worked up.

"Thanks, Caitlin." She handed me her purse that sat on the end table.

I smiled and kissed her cheek before the nurse came back to start an IV. "Think nothing of it, sweetie. And, I can promise you that they'll take good care of you; especially since you’re a first timer." I winked at the nurse and stepped outside to start making phone calls.

"Hello?" A male's voice finally answered.

"Oh, thank God. Brian, it's Caitlin. I have a slight problem." I looked out the window at the end of the hall in the waiting room to see the soft coating of snow on the streets.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned, thinking the worst after what I've been through.

"I can't get a hold of Ray and I'm at Lenox with Christa. She just started labor-"

"Is she alright? I'll get him. They should be done soon anyway. Ending an interview a little early shouldn't be a big deal-"

I cut him off, returning the favor. "He'll have plenty of time. She's doing fine so don't rush anywhere in this weather and do something stupid." I sighed and rolled my eyes after getting off the phone with him and went back to calling the essential relatives and friends for Christa.

"Where is she!" I heard Ray's panicked voice, making me chuckle. I have seen many men fall to their knees, faint, and cry in their wife's time of need.

I walked down the hall and laughed with the nurse at the station. "Always good entertainment." She nodded her head and agreed.

He shook my arms, frantically trying to get my attention. "Where's Christa?"

I resisted laughing when Gerard pried his arms off of me. "Just calm down, Ray. She's fine. Don't go in there all crazy, you'll scare her." I grabbed a bucket off of the counter and filled it with ice chips for Christa. I handed him the bucket and pointed to her room. I laughed, shaking my head, and sat on Gerard's lap.

He kissed me briefly and leaned his forehead against mine. "How'd it go today?"

"Not bad. It kind of hurt when they took the stitches out." I leaned my head on his shoulder. He rolled up the shirt and frowned seeing another bandage. I smiled running my hand through his black hair. "It's just to prevent infection. The stitches are all gone," I assured him.

"Good." He mumbled, kissing my lips.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, noticing the lack of noise.

"When to grab something to eat and take care of the pets first. They're covering for us too." He moved, putting his feet up on the next chair so we sat comfortably across the seat.

I drew swirls on his stomach under his t-shirt as he rubbed my back. "That's like my number one weakness." I muttered shutting my eyes.

He grinned and kissed my forehead. "Got to sleep, sugar."

I groaned sitting up and noticing not much light seeped through the closed blinds. "What time is it?" I stole Gerard's coffee, not caring that it was black.

"Almost four." Gerard pushed some hair out of my face.

"In the morning?" I looked at him shocked that I had slept that long. "Is she still in labor?"

He shook his head smiling. "Nope."

I smacked him in the chest and pouted. "And, you thought you shouldn't wake me?"

"Lucas was born only 20 minutes ago, you haven't missed much." He gave a short laugh as I pulled him quickly to his feet.

"Come on, I want to see him." I said childishly and giggled. "I can't believe she had a boy."

We stopped in the door frame and watched as Ray fawn over Christa and their newborn. The guys were already making big future plans for him fighting over what instrument he would learn. "Soon, Jane," Gerard whispered and kissed my neck. "I want that to be us."