Follow Your Bliss

"Be happy," was the last thing Matt told me before he got on his flight to Texas.

He was right I wasn't happy with myself. Well, that's not true. I am happy with the person I am; I just never take care of myself I guess. Getting this apartment was a huge thing I did for me. And how everything was new. I have never spent so much on myself ever!

Matt was happy for me that I could accomplish this, but he knew it was easy for me to go back to my old ways. I always put school first in order to get where I am. And now that I have my career he knows that I'll just focus on that totally forgetting to take care of myself and have fun.

And I'm in Manhattan of all places. The city is always alive so it's not like can make up excuses.

But, reconnecting with my art had helped find my soul once more. That was always that kept me going.

I love fine art, but I didn't have enough patience for it so I decide that the gallery would feature more of my photography side given the time span I was limited to. I was always told that I had the eye for lighting and I almost went into that business too.

It seems like I almost did a lot of things, which is true. It is a hard decision to decide what you are going to do for the rest of your life. I think it was a highly unfair question to ask a teenager or even an adult. Why do you have to make that decision? But, I went with nursing because it paid the bills and I did enjoy my work.

Harvey came over and kissed my cheek hello. "Everything looks absolutely marvelous. I sincerely mean that Caitlin."

"He's not coming tonight is he." I smiled sadly.

"I can't rearrange all the dates Caitlin. But, Josh will be able to see the gallery before it's over." He grinned hoping to get my spirits up.

So far most of my friends couldn't make it. Seeing how this was meant to be next Friday, they all had made plans already for this weekend. My parents and youngest brother were in the same dilemma. They were in San Francisco on vacation. My mom had always wanted to go there and now she finally was able to. She was ready to come home right away, but I wouldn't allow it.

And my grandparents were up in Connecticut at their cottage with no one to drive them to the ferry and pick them up. I wouldn't dare ask any of my other relatives.

At least my friend Jez was coming, well stopping by. She'd come for a drink with me and calm my nerves before going to her parents for dinner.

Logan was lying in the sun in front of the door, watching people walk by.

"I invited some names that are always interested in new artists to come. And don't worry about the silent market. A small sticker will be placed next to the title plate when it's bought." Harvey reassured me. "Just leave it all to me. I'll have you mingle with certain people, but don't worry I'll keep the sharks at bay. So don't stress over anything."

I slowly let out a deep breath and let everything sink in. "Okay, I can handle this."

"Of course you can." He looked at his watch, "You need to leave now to make your hair and nail appointment. I already dropped off your dress off at your apartment."

"Wait, what?" I blinked.

"I told you I took care of everything." He looked at me not understanding why I was still confused. "Just enjoy it Princess."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for everything."

He pushed back some hair behind my ear. "No problem. Now go get that hair layered. Since you've grown it out again, it's taken your face down with it. You're just as bad as Josh."

I glared. "No one is as bad as Josh. He rather have a mullet growing his hair out than let someone inexperienced touch it with scissors."

Harvey laughed. "Yet, he'd be the one to start a new trend from laziness."

"Goes to show how plastic teenage minds really are." I rolled my eyes.

I put the leash on Logan and followed the directions Harvey wrote down. It led me to some fancy salon, figures.

One thing for sure Josh and Harvey had in common was their expensive tastes. Nothing but the best they say because if you are going to do something get it done right the first time.

I stood out in my tank top and scrubs-pants. I sighed and walked to the desk were a girl with platinum blond hair snapped her gum. "Harvey made an appointment I believe."

She looked me over before looking at the appointment catalog. The girl nodded popping her gum. She directed me to get my nails done. They painted a summer red/orange with black and gold swirls on the sides.

She looked up from her magazine seeing I was done with my nails, "Mia will be with you in a moment."

I saw a girl wipe her hands on her apron and approach me. She had brown hair with blond and purple streaks through it. And a confident aura around her, but one seemed that she'd rather be somewhere else. I stood up and met her halfway. "Mia?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes glancing at the girl at the front desk, "It's Mirah. Don't worry about it. We . . .just rub each other the wrong way."

I glanced over the girl at the desk flipping through a magazine still chewing like a cow. "Don't blame you."

She laughed and draped the smock over me. She turned the water on and played with the temperature, "That good?" I nodded my head. "So what am I doing for you today?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. You can do whatever you want; just don't make me bald." I shrugged making her laugh.

Mirah grinned. "Alright then, your hair is in good hands." She rinsed my hair and just started up a friendly conversation. "So what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a nurse practitioner, but tonight I'm an artist I guess?" I said unsure what I am tonight.

"Well, why only tonight?" She laughed.

"I have this art gallery my brother's manager set up for me." I rolled my eyes. "It was all thrown together last minute."

"Sounds good enough for me. You have a gallery so it's not really a one-night stand artist thing. Here, hold this." She wrapped a towel gently around my hair.

"No," I laughed. "Guess not."

I sat in the chair and she adjusted it for her height. She began chopping my hair away, giving me layers I'm assuming. "So what does your brother do in order to get those connections to throw some gallery together?"

I bit my lip, I've always felt weird talking to him about this. "Well he's a guitarist for a band."

"Oh yeah?" She looked up in the mirror and smiled at me before concentrating again. "Is it like some underground band?"

"Well, they were, up until last year so they're still fairly fresh." I answered vaguely.

"Hmm, I'm trying to think of new bands." Mirah stood in front and began to cut some lengthy choppy bangs. She laughed, but didn't get all giggly like some teen fan. "Would this brother have adorable dimples and shaggy dark blond hair?"

I smiled, "He might."

"Would they be in the top three on fuse at the moment?" She narrowed down her list.

"It's a possibility." I laughed. "I think you know who it is."

"Yeah, I knew I liked you." She smiled teasing me. "I must say you have a pretty awesome brother for doing this for you."

"Yeah, only he can't show up for it." My smile softened. "Eh, work is work."

"Sadly only too true." She took the hair dryer and blew it dry. "So how do you like it?"

I ran my fingers threw it and grinned. "Gorgeous."

She began to pull it back. "How about I do something with it for tonight?"

"Really?" She nodded. "That would be great."

"So how did you end up in this place?" I asked and gestured my hands to around the salon.

"Natural talent and you go where the money is." She smiled weaving my hair in and out. "But one day, I would love to open my own salon that way I don't have to deal with the sweetest secretary." She said in a sarcastic sugar coated voice.

I laughed. "That's a good goal though."

She spun the chair around still holding onto my hair and pulled something out of her drawer before working on my hair. "I've been working my ass off since I got out of high school. Almost reached it too. I just have to find a good location."

She tied a clear rubber band at the end on each side. She braided two fishtail braids on either side, "There you go. How do you like?

"It looks amazing; I love fishtail braids, but I can never do them myself." I smiled it really did looked awesome.

"Well you're all set. Harvey, I think it was, paid earlier or something. And if you see him, thank him cause he gave me a good tip." Mirah grinned.

I smiled. "No problem. I'll see you around maybe."

"Yeah, that would be cool." She smiled and said goodbye before getting to work on cleaning her station.

"Poor Logan." I cooed untying from the meter. When we got home sure enough there was a beautiful dress draped across the couch. I rolled my eyes when I saw the shoes. There were gorgeous, but stilettos and me don't exactly go together, especially since I was so used to wearing flatter shoes all the time at work. "You've got to be kidding me."

Carefully I pulled everything on with out angering my hair. Yes, hair has feelings and can be extremely emotional. I put on a coat of mascara, some clear lip-gloss and a little blush. I kept it light and simple seeing how by the end of the night it would just melt off anyway.

I put food out for Logan, not knowing what time I would be back. I grabbed an evening clutch and took a cab to where the gallery was being held.

"Were you able to hold up the fort?" I asked when I spotted Harvey talking to a server.

"You look stunning." He twirled me around.

His wife Anita came over and hugged me. "You could be a model sweetie. I see my husband did something right for once."

Harvey huffed and rolled his eyes. I laughed when he didn't give her a smart-ass comment knowing it would get him into trouble.

"Except for the date mix up, yes he did." I gave him a cheeky grin knowing I couldn't get into trouble with Anita around.

She sighed smiled knowing she was getting a silent reaction out of her husband. "Yes, well I've come to accept he will always make a mistake on something; can't depend on him for everything I suppose."

I laughed when I heard some of The Helminth's, Josh's other more underground band, in the background. "Advertising?"

"Hey, you never know." Harvey laughed and directed his wife to meet and greet. He looked over his shoulder. "I'll be back to make you mingle."

I rolled my eyes. I was so close to getting away. I'm not one for the spotlight.

I grabbed a champagne glass as a tray passed by. The waiter smiled and nodded his head. I bit my lip and smiled back blushing. What? He was cute. Liking my response he grinned and walked away. I laughed and began to walk around admiring how much I was able to get done in a few weeks.

I laughed at myself thinking my AP art class in high school. The portfolio was due on a Tuesday or something like that and I still had like six left to do. So on the weekend I painted six acrylics and had to get my mom help me because I had a huge paper for my AP literature class due that week too.

It was utter chaos. My eyes were so bloodshot the next morning I looked like I had a major hang over or I was high.

I looked over the photos; the theme for the gallery was 'The Moment's We Look Over.' Damn good title if you ask me. Well, that's because I'm biased since I came up with it.

Like Harvey warned me I had empty conversations with many people and surprisingly stickers were going on one by one.

Like Jez promised, she stopped by. But, was late and I didn't even get to have a drink with her.

I still sipped my champagne from earlier. I'm not much of a drinker since alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. I was always careful because I did not want to end up like them. I've also have seen how it's affected my brother.

But, it didn't mean I couldn't enjoy wine or a beer. I just had to be careful I didn't over do it. I never had to worry about that though, I was too afraid to go too far past my limits.

I sighed feeling alone. I knew my family and friends supported my to the end and beyond and they were upset that they couldn't make it, but it still didn't take the loneliness away.

I went to where the few paintings were held. One of my favorite ones that I almost didn't hang up was hidden in the back. I wanted it that way because it was a special painting and if you were meant to find it then, you were meant to see it.

It looked childish with all the swirls, like in Tim Burton movies. I always admired his work and the details he used. This was a cliff with the grass swirling and crawling up a leafless tree. The sky was a midnight blue lit with stars and a crescent moon with light swirling clouds in the background. And if you looked up close you, etched in the grass were-

"I'm surprised that the artist etched in their secrets, though you have to look really close." A voice startled me from behind.

I visibly jumped and slightly screamed. I bit my lip and blushed.

The man laughed and apologized, "Sorry, I didn't think you were that deep in thought."

"That's alright." I smiled and opened my eyes to star into two russet eyes that were absolutely captivating. I tore my gaze away and brought my attention back to painting.

Mystery man had seen my secrets.

It seemed to be a good idea at the time, but right now I felt so vulnerable. No one was supposed to see this painting that's why I hid it.

His would have been the first other pair of eyes to see it. I don't even think Harvey had.

"I think we are the only two that have spotted it." He said quietly over my shoulder as if he knew this secret.

"It does seem to be the case." I smiled and spoke just as softly. No one else was around.

"Mmm, I would love for that to be my thinking spot." He smiled.

"What makes you say that it is a thinking spot?" I asked wondering how he could understand so much without having met me before. Was he meant to see this picture?

I smiled to myself; he didn't even know that this gallery was mine.

"How could it not?" His eyes were so intent as he took everything in about the piece. "Her most private secrets are here and the stars. The stars protect you when you are vulnerable and guide the way. And it is the only one not named. You can't name your thoughts."

"Gerard!" Frank bounced over pulling someone with him. "Have you seen- holy shit I almost didn't recognized you without scrubs."

I laughed and looked at my dress. "Yeah, I almost didn't recognize myself either."

The girl elbowed Frank in the ribs. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks." I blushed not used to the attention.

"This is my fiance Jamia." Frank introduced the poor woman that he dragged.

"I have a cousin Jamie? But, never heard of Jamia before, pretty." I said smiling.

"Yeah, it's a unique one." She returned the smile.

"I think the weirdest name I've ever heard was Pascale. She was a friend of mine in college from Lebanon." I laughed and shrugged. "Yeah, random thought for the moment."

"So was you're brother able to come?" Frank asked me.

My smile fell. "No, Harvey couldn't rearrange their tour dates. And then my parents and Devin are in San Francisco. And Harvey had all my friends thinking that this was next weekend. So it's just little o' me."

"Caitlin!" Anita waved me over.

I sighed. I didn't think that this would be this much work. "I talk to you guys in a bit. There's an open bar and some appetizers somewhere." I turned to Gerard and bit the corner of my lip, "Oh, and I'd appreciate if you'd keep my secrets just that."

I smiled to myself and went to share some more empty conversations. I waved to Ray, Christa and Bob, who had just walked in, before carrying on with a Ms. Roberts.

I would tilt my head in the opposite direction every so often leading the person to believe that I was interested in their conversation, meanwhile I was debating how sincere they were or if their wrinkles would swallow them whole.

I blinked out of my daze when I saw Bob and Mikey making faces at me from across the room. I smiled and slightly waved before turning back to Mr. Wrinkle face. Harvey was naming off my success in the medical field and how Josh did this for me, and so on. It was the same thing over and over, just with different people and variation of words.

"This is her show?" Gerard asked feeling like a complete idiot.

"Well, yeah. That is the neighbor we talked about. Sister of that guitarist from the band Toro and Bryar like so much." Frank gave him a 'duh' look. "So what secrets were you let in on about? I mean we have known her longer."

"Frank." Jamia laughed and pinched him.

Gerard smiled at them and watched to where I was mingling. There was just something about that woman that gave him goose bumps.

Frank noticed the look; it was the same one he had for Jamia. He puffed his chest as his ingenious only to be deflated by Jamia poking him. He laughed when he saw Bob and Mikey making faces at Caitlin.

Gerard was still watching her ever move. Frank smirked; he could so ruin Gee's moment and call him a stalker, but he had a brighter idea.

"Hey Gee?" Frank asked getting his attention formulating an idea that Christa would love. "Are you staying at Ray's tonight?"

Gerard pulled his gaze away and shrugged. "Yeah, why?"

"No reason. We'll uh, be back later." Frank grinned and grabbed Jamia's and went to find Christa, leaving Gerard to continue through the gallery alone. "Let's head out."

"Why?" Christa asked.

"What if we all left Gerard here?" Frank smirked.

Christa debated this in her head and smiled. "You know, I used to think you were the stupid one of the group. Sounds fault proof enough."

Ray rolled his eyes still not too sure of this whole thing because the timing seemed so wrong, but he sighed as his girlfriend and Frank made other plans. He and Jamia ended up being dragged out by their significant others while Mikey and Bob followed.

I saw them leave and so wanted to be right along with them, but people still remained.

Harvey came up to me and saved me from the latest person I was talking to. "There's still someone in the back that you haven't mingled with."

I gave him a curious look, but he just nudged me in that direction.

"Hey, stealing my thinking spot again." I laughed lightly letting my presence be known.

"Yeah, if I had known." He scratched his neck trailing off. He then stuck out his hand. "Gerard. I thought you might have known already, but you didn't say anything earlier."

"Caitlin." I shook his hand and swear sparks went threw me. "The hair kind of threw me off."

He smiled and ran his fingers threw his short blond locks and nodded. "Yeah, it's a bit different than black."

I laughed; at least he had a sense of humor. "So it seems that we've been ditched."

Gerard cracked a grin. "It would seem that way."

Harvey came over and interrupted us. "Caitlin, you're free to go. I close everything up and finish with the last few people. It's getting late anyway." He nodded his head at Gerard and gave me a quick hug.

"Say bye to Anita for me." I smiled. "So are you going to stay on my cliff?"

"I think I'm done for now." He smiled and walked with me. "It's close to three in the morning so I'm guessing tonight has been a success?"

I looked up at him, "I guess so. I have no idea about these sorts of things. I basically just hung up my stuff and showed up."

He laughed at this. "Nice how it was handed to you like that."

"Yeah it is. That's never happened for me before." I laughed realizing at how easy tonight really was.

Gerard smiled, but didn't say anything. He couldn't get over the fact that he felt something awaken inside him when he saw me standing under the nameless painting.

"So do you want to catch a cab?" He asked me breaking the silence.

My breath still caught every time I looked in his eyes. "Can we walk, well that is if you are heading in the same direction?"

He smiled, "I'm staying at Ray's at the moment so yes we will be walking in the same direction."

Several blocks later, I began to lag behind due to the numbing of my feet from the stilettos. Gerard chuckled at me realizing I wasn't in sync with his pace anymore and waited for me to catch up.

"Here lean on me." He wrapped his arm around my waist giving me access to his chest and shoulder. I wrapped my arm around his and took advantage of my human pillow.

"Thanks." I stifled a yawn.

Passerby's smiled at us as they passed as if they knew a secret. I sighed content and looked up at Gerard only to be caught staring. He laughed lightly, but didn't say anything.

"It funny, how you're treating me like you know me." I said breaking the silence. "Not that that is necessarily bad."

He leaned down and whispered, "But you forget Caitlin; I do know you. I know your innermost thoughts and secrets."

"Hmm, so you do. I didn't expect anyone to go back there." I admitted.

He shrugged, "Eh, just an urge I followed. It was very good you know; the whole show."

The street lamps highlighted the pink tint on my cheeks making him laugh a bit. "Thanks."

"It's only the truth."

"So Gerard," I bit my lip from letting a yawn escape. "Are you apart of a nomadic tribe?"

"Sometimes." He smiled. "I go where ever until my stay is outlived."

He still kept his arm around my waist as we road up in the elevator and followed me to my door as I unlocked it.

"Thanks for walking with me and being my pillow." I yawned. "Excuse me."

Gerard chuckled and brushed my bangs out of my eyes. "My pleasure."

"You know for a Jersey boy you're not an asshole." My eyes widened slightly as I realized what I had just said. But, he laughed so that was a good sign.

"Well, for a suburbs girl, you're not a stuck-up bitch." He smiled and leaned in giving me a quick tender kiss. "Night suburbs."

I laughed, "Good night Jersey boy." I slipped into my apartment and leaned on the closed door. I placed a cold hand on my cheek; it felt like it was on fire.