Follow Your Bliss

A few photo albums were open across the coffee table. One was open to a large picture of Gerard and I on our wedding day out on the pier with the sun setting behind us. The same picture was blown up and hanging in our bedroom in black and white.

The other album was full of pictures from our honeymoon. We spent the trip being complete tourists. It was currently opened to St. Peters with Gerard and I standing in front of it. Gerard was determined to convince me that I would enjoy the masterpiece that was painted inside. He did eventually get me to admit that the Sistine Chapel was a massive creation. It was pretty impressive.

He was very proud of himself.

"Damn it." I groaned as my foot throbbed. I looked on the floor to see the array of colorful blocks still left out. I huffed and kicked the stray block back to its pile and continued to make my way down the hallway. I plopped on the end of our bed and looked at my feet. "Gerard?" I whined. Logan lifted his head up giving me an odd look before rolling over onto his other side. I chuckled and scratched his back.

"What?" He asked with a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Can you rub my feet?" I pouted laying back and lifting up a foot, wiggling my toes.

He spit out the toothpaste and leaned in the doorway. "We have to leave soon, Jane." He reminded me and sighed when I jutted out my bottom lip. "Amelia does it better. But, when we get back, I promise I will give you a nice foot massage."

I thought over his offer and agreed. "I won't forget, you know." Gerard rolled his eyes knowing I wouldn't, though he really never minded.

He walked back into the bathroom and checked his hair over. I have to admit, he did look nice tonight. He did his usual black skinny jeans and boots, but the white button down shirt was a nice touch.

“Gerard,” I smiled feeling a flutter almost like gas bubbles. Though it wasn't from the chili we had for dinner earlier, it was more familiar to me this time around. "Guess what, babe?"

"What?" He wiped off the remaining of the shaving cream on his face.

"The baby's moving." I grinned sitting up.

"Already?" He tossed the towel on the counter and came over, putting his hand on my belly.

"It's not kicking so you can feel it yet," I giggled at his excitement. "Just quickening."

"Oh, well Miss Know-It-All." He teased giving me a quick, tender kiss.

"Mama," I heard from the hallway along with the soft padding of little feet.

I looked at the doorway to see Amelia waddling in just her diaper. I loved how she just wanted to run around naked. I was lucky enough when she kept her diaper on.

"Come here, boo." I scooped her up and put her on my lap. "What baby?" I kissed her head, cuddling her close to my body.

Amelia had my dark blond hair and blue eyes, but the lips and cheeks and other features were all Gerard. She just contently leaned her head on my shoulder and rubbed my belly.

Gerard grinned rubbing Amelia's little potbelly. "Where's Oma?" He asked, tickling her sides to make her laugh. There was nothing more beautiful that a child's laugh, especially when it was ours.

"Kit." Amelia giggled and began one of her long stories that only she understood.

Gerard laughed as she became very animated. "Are you done getting ready?"

"Don't I look ready?" I glared making him sigh. I stood up and placed Amelia on my hip as she continued to talk. I slipped on my black flats and grinned. "Now, I'm ready."

Amelia pulled the string on my dress and giggled when it began to come undone. "That's my job, Nugget." Gerard chuckled and retied the dress for me. I was wearing a simple asparagus colored wrap dress over black leggings. I like how it showed my small bump that had formed over the past sixteen weeks.

Tonight was the New York premiere for Watchmen. Gerard had already seen the movie though, at the premiere in L.A. last week. He almost didn't want to go tonight and just wanted to stay home and spend his time with his family, especially since he had been away for a while.

I, on the other hand, needed to get out and wanted to see the movie so he was going to suck it up for one night.

"I hate when you do that," he added making me grin wider.

"I know." I smiled cheekily.

Gerard was always on his toes when I was pregnant with Amelia. I honestly couldn't control my hormones and didn't know when my moods were going to fluctuate. The poor guy was so stressed out and tired from me. This time around I have a better idea of what to expect, but it was still fun to tease him and toy with his nerves.

"Don't let her mess with you, Gerard." My dad chuckled, shaking his head at me. My parents were going to watch Amelia for us and probably stay the night instead of driving all the way home.

"He knows I'm only kidding, Daddy." I smiled innocently at Gerard. "Right, babe?"

"Of course, sweetheart," he said sarcastically as he took Amelia from my arms. He really was a good father. I loved how his eyes lit up, fascinated with every little movement she made. And, Amelia was definitely a daddy’s girl. Gerard sung a children’s song softly in her ear as he danced with her, following me into the kitchen.

I grabbed a Flying Saucer out of the pack in the freezer. My mom laughed as Amelia opened her arms for me as she eyed my ice cream goodie. “You’re horrible, baby.” I shook my head taking a bite and turning it to give her better access. She didn’t hesitate to throw her entire face into the ice cream. I scrunched up my nose when she giggle and placed a sticky kiss on my cheek. “Amelia, baby, you are gross.”

“That’s what every child wants to hear their mother call them.” My mom teased, handing me a wet washcloth.

“Well, then my job’s done.” I grinned cheekily, grabbing a washcloth and running it under the water. I wiped the remains of my daughter’s sloppy kiss and cleaned up her face and tiny, grubby fingers as well.

Gerard finished tying his tie and slid on his leather jacket. “You ready, Jane? The car’s waiting downstairs.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, looking reluctantly at Amelia as I ran my fingers through her hair.

“She’s in good hands you know.” My mom teased.

“I know.” I chuckled kissing her all over her face, smiling at her innocent laughter. “Be good for Oma and Grandpa.” I gave her one more kiss on her lips before handing her to my mom. I saw her bottom lip quiver and the crocodile tears begin to form. It broke my heart seeing her get upset. “Mommy loves you, Amelia. I’ll see you later, boo.”

“Love ya, Nugget.” Gerard grinned blowing a raspberry on her belly. Her smile only lasted a second before the full blown tears broke out.

“You two get going, we’ll take care of it. A few tears are nothing compared to how you were, Caitlin.” Christine chuckled, bouncing on her feet, hoping the steady rocking would help calm her down before she resorted to disratction.

“Okay, right.” I nodded to myself, knowing that staying would just confuse Amelia and upset her further. “Don’t stay up for us.” I reminded my parents, knowing that they will wait up for us to come home to make sure we were safe. I sighed once the apartment door was shut behind us. “I hate hearing her cry like that.”

Gerard helped me into my coat while we waited for the elevator. “I know,” he agreed. He pulled me close as the elevator lowered down to the lobby. “Makes my heart stop every time.”

I nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He smiled, rubbing my back, leading me out the front doors.

We rode to the cinema in a comfortable silence. The city lights lightly shown through the tinted windows, illuminated the inside of the car. I leaned against his chest smiling as he slid his hand inside my coat, rubbing our baby bump.

The car slowed in front of the building, crowds behind the ropes hoping to catch a glimpse of someone famous. Gerard kissed the hand he was holding before leaning over and kissing my temple. “Ready?”

“Never,” I smiled softly, kissing his lips briefly.

“You’ll have Jamia to suffer with.” He chuckled.

I nodding, knowing how it helps to have someone to keep you company while they go have to answer questions for the press and take snapshots. Gerard slid out of the car first and leaned in the car, holding his hand out for me.

“Don’t let me fall,” I teased. I was definitely not one to be graceful when getting out of a car, let alone with a small belly to throw off my balance.

“Never.” He chuckled, helping me out of the car and kept me steady on my feet as promised.

I wrapped my arm around his wast as he secured his around my shoulder. “So, who’s going to be here to suffer with you?” I teased, kissing his cheek.

“My brother and Frank, obviously if I told you Jamia’s going to be there,” He returned the kiss. Bob was off traveling around and Ray and Christa were on their honeymoon. “It’s freezing.” Gerard whined quietly to me as we walked down the walkway.

“Suck it up. It’s actually not too bad out.” I rolled my eyes. “Not everyone can be spoiled by the L.A. weather during the worst winter months.”

He glared teasingly before walking over to the fans. I smirked knowing that the glare was actually because I refused to tag along for his last trip. I walked up behind him sliding my cold fingers up his jacket making him jump. “You suck.”

I giggled and said hello to a few kids that were waving at me. Gerard and I posed together upon several requests. I smiled to myself as his hand always found a way to slither across my stomach, placing it in my coat pocket so he could rub my belly.

“About time you losers got here.” Jamia pouted, pulling me away from Gerard as Frank and Mikey went over to take some group shots together. “So, how is my mama doing?” She grinned, tucking her arm under mine.

“I’m doing well,” I chuckled.

“And, how’s my Amelia.” Jamia asked proud of the little girl who quickly won over everyone’s hearts.

“She’s good. Definitely knows how to tug on her parent’s heart strings only too well.” I sighed. “She was using those crocodile tears and that pitch that she knows that will get our attention when we were leaving.”

“Eh, the grandparents are there to spoil her now. You know they will.” She assured me as we walked behind the guys down the line.

Frank came over and gave me a hug before rubbing his beard on my face. “I hate you so much right now.” I scrunched up my nose, hating that feeling. Everyone with a beard always does that to me too knowing that they’ll get a reaction out of me. “I don’t know how you put up with it, Jamia.”

“Hey now, this is the latest fad I’m setting,” Frank grinned as he stroked his beard.

“Now, this is better.” I squeezed Mikey’s narrow face. “That clean-cut look.” I grimaced as he licked my hand. “I hate you too.” I wiped my hand on his jacket.

Gerard just laughed at me and linked his hand with mine as we made our way to where the journalists were. Gerard squeezed my hand harder, always nervous about what questions they would throw at him, mostly the ones inquiring about his personal life. I squeezed his hand, silently reminding him that I would be there every step of the way like I have been since we’ve entered each other’s lives.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder protectively, wanting me close beside him. I leaned into him smelling the cologne he put on earlier. I smiled when I didn’t smell the lingering scent of nicotine and smoke like I used to. He kept his promise, quickly nipping the nasty habit in the butt when I had became pregnant.

I amused myself watching my breath linger in the cold night air as he stood in the back answering questions here and there when needed. “Come, let’s get the special ladies in the picture too.” I looked over at the man with the microphone, recognizing Steven Smith from Fuse that I had met on several occasions before, on and off camera.

“You sure?” Gerard asked, ignoring everyone else around him.

“It’s only Steve, not so scary.” I smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Alright, lets ask the sappy couple in the back.” He directed everyone’s attention to us, holding out the microphone to catch our response.

I felt my cheeks flush as I looked up innocently, not sure what the conversation was actually about.

Steve saved me from floundering in front of the camera for long and reworded the question for me to make it look like I had been listening all along. “How excited are you to see the band’s rendition of Dylan’s Desolation Row on the silver screen?”

“Super excited of course.” I giggled and shot him a smile of thanks. “I’m always proud of their work and can’t wait to see the final product.”

“Wait a minute,” he said dramatically. “Another one?” I looked at Gerard confused to what he could be referring to only to see him shrug. “And, you didn’t see the need to inform me, Caitlin? I’m highly disappointed.”

“Inform you?” I laughed, completely confused. “What?”

He ignored me and grinned. “I have to rub your belly for good luck.”

I laughed and unbuttoned my coat. “I thought I seriously did something wrong.” I leaned forward so he could get a good rub in.

“So cute.” He gushed, making me blush lightly. “Alright, I’m going to interrogate you on break, missy. But, back to business at hand.” I bit my lip and hid slightly behind Gerard as they finished up the last interview before the preview.

“I can’t believe that you’re pregnant again.” Steve teased as we waited on the guys taking promotional pictures for various publications as well as catching up with several acquaintances. We opted to wait inside and I gladly welcomed the heat.

“16 weeks last weekend.” I smiled, rubbing my belly.

“What do you think you’re going to have?” He asked excited for his friends.

Jamia leaned on my shoulder. “They need a boy now to watch out for his big sister and someone to hang out with Lucas.”

I grinned. “Yeah, a boy sounds good.”

“What sounds good?” Gerard asked as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, slipping his hands into my coat pocket so he could discretely hold our baby belly.

“A boy this time around.” I leaned back into his embrace.

“I could go for either. Amelia has me read comic books to her and we color together so I’m covered either way.” Gerard shrugged, rolling his eyes at the small jabs made at his masculinity. “Hey, this belly proves how much of a man I am.” He grinned proudly, ending their debate.

I snuggled into Gerard as we sat in our reserved seats. He opened the bag of Peanut M&M’s for me and we began to munch on them through the previews. I yawned and tried to cover it up by popping in another M&M when the lights dimmed low, preparing for the movie to start.

“Don’t go to sleep on me,” he chuckled. “We could’ve done this at home. At least we would already be in bed.”

“You’re old,” I teased and pouted. “What kind of thing is that to say? I want to be out with my hubby and have some fun. Not in bed like some old person.”

“I’m not old,” he said defensively making me laugh. “I blame the time zone difference.”

“Old man.” I whispered huskily into his ear, nibbling on the lobe.

I watched as his breath hitched and his grip on the armrest tighten. “So not cool.” He shuddered as I licked to shell of his ear before blowing softly on it. “Jane,” Gerard whined.

“Yes?” I giggled and rested my head on his shoulder, draping one leg over his as I crossed them.

“You’re not playing fair,” he pouted, wrapping his arm casually around my shoulder. He took a few breaths trying to calm his body. “I missed you so much, Jane.”

“Me too.” I mumbled, settling in the chair further as the movie officially started.

“I’m old,” I sniffled as my body felt like lead while I waited for Gerard to unlock the door. We had gone out afterwards to celebrate the movie opening in New York and my second wind had long left me during the ride back home.

“Jane, you’re not even 30 yet.” He laughed, rolling his eyes.

“I feel old then,” I pouted, following him into the apartment. The light over the kitchen sink was left on. I saw that the door to the Amelia’s room was closed with the light off, signaling that my parents had listened to me and not waited up.

Gerard hung up our coats as I locked the door for the night. Logan, Will, and Olivia came running over to us. Gerard gave them a look, making sure that they wouldn’t bark, waking everyone up. I laughed as they always listened to him. They accepted their greeting with a few scratches behind the ears before settling on the recliner that they claimed. You should see how Bob has to argue with them for his spot when he comes over.

“Don’t forget my foot massage.” I sighed kicking my flats off and plopping down on the chaise lounge.

Gerard moved my over and made room for him. “Don’t worry, I know it was part of the fine print in our vows,” he teased.

“As long as you know.” I giggled as he ran his thumb over a sensitive spot. I picked up the photo album, the one with our pictures from our honeymoon. “It looks so nice and warm there.” I sighed contently. “I miss Italy.”

Gerard chuckled and agreed, putting that one aside after we flipped through it and picked up the one of Amelia. I would often catch him looking through it, especially when he would have to leave to work on his projects.

As if she knew she was going to be talked about I heard her start to cry. I immediately got to my feet and rushed to go to her room before she fully woke my parents up. I chuckled seeing her standing in her crib, holding onto the railing. I looked over to see my mom stirring. “I’ve got it covered. Go back to sleep.” I told her softly as I lifted Amelia out of her bed, taking her blanket with me and shutting the door behind us.

“What happened nugget?” Gerard cooed as we walked over to him.

“Daddy!” She squealed, bouncing in my arms, anxious over to get to him.

“Hey, baby,” he grinned, excited at how his daughter was always happy to see him.

“I think it might have been a nightmare.” I pouted, running my fingers through her hair as we settled next to him.

“Poor, baby.” He kissed her head. “We were just gong to look at pictures of you, Amemlia.”

“Amelia,” she repeated her name rubbing her eyes and adjusting herself to fit comfortably around my stomach.

“Yup, you.” He grinned as she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Loves you.” She sighed contently, closing her eyes.

Gerard let out a sigh of content himself as the people that mattered most to him were snuggled close. His heart swelled and he had never felt more complete. “Jane, babe, we did good.” He looked over and chuckled seeing me with my head tilted back against the chair, completely conked out. “We did good.”