Follow Your Bliss

My parents and friends were excited and proud of me when they got to see my gallery. Even more so when they found out people actually brought my photo prints.

My mom was the proudest out of everyone. I got my talent from her. Secretly I think she always wanted to do this herself, but she never had the guts to go through with it. I always admired her work, but her insecurity got the best of her. It's funny how much my mom and I are alike.

I was really happy to see my parents and my brother Devin though. We went to my gallery, I showed them my apartment, and we went to our favorite restaurant Hop Lee in China Town.

My family has yet to know about my relationship with Gerard. Josh promised not to tell them yet. But, I had until he finished his tour or he would call them up. That would be in at least three days. And that leads me to now arguing on the phone with Josh once again.

"Do you not know what kind of past he's had!?" Josh yelled getting frustrated with me. "Fuck Caitlin, he's everything you told me not to be since middle school."

That stung. Josh wasn't the type of brother that wouldn't let a guy come near me, but he did get extremely protective if he thought I would get hurt. And so far he doesn't exactly approve of Gerard. And what makes things harder is how much my entire family loved Matt.

"He's not like that now." I said timidly. I was extremely relieved that I wasn't having this conversation in person. We definitely would have ended up in a fistfight. Well nails against fists really. I suck at punching and it doesn't help that he is practically all muscle.

"Damn it Caitlin." Josh growled. "What makes you think he will stay that way? What makes you think that he won't let his ugly side come out again? And from I've heard it's not pretty. Do you really want to be with someone like Aunt Irene? Or what about all those stories mom told us about Grandpa John. Or what dad has told you about Grandma."

Don't forget about you, is what I felt like adding. But, that would not only add fuel to the fire, it would open the gates to hell all together. "Why can't you just trust me? I've always been able to judge people pretty accurately."

"Not this time." Josh sighed. "This time things are different. Caitlin it would be better if you just ended things with him now before it gets to serious."

"No," I whispered. "He treats me so well Josh. You just don't understand. He gets me."

Josh rubbed his face knowing there was nothing more he could say to change my mind. He didn't like the idea that his older sister was dating a recovering alcoholic and an ex-user. "Just don't let me have to say I told you so."

"Really?" I smiled.

"Yeah," He sighed really hoping I knew what I was doing. "But, you have to tell Mom soon. Like, now soon."

"No, I know." I sighed laying down on my bed. It's kind of funny hearing him lecture me; it's always been the other way around.

"You know shit'll hit the fan when Mom finds out about him." He warned me.

"Yeah, that's why I have yet to tell her. She's going to be disappointed I know. I will be all she talks about to Anna." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, you definitely will." He chuckled.

"Josh?" I said softly.

"Yes?"

"Gerard really is good to me." I smiled trying to reassure him. "He understood that weird tree painting I did; completely. I mean he was able to break it down and figure out every detail. I didn't even know who he was and vise versa at the time."

"Really?" Josh was surprised. He knew that no one really understood that painting. It was always thought of as a knock off from one of Tim Burton's designs. Maybe that was a good sign. "That will help your argument with Mom."

"Do you think they'll understand?" I chewed on a nail.

"Nope." He said flat out. "Well, not in the beginning at least. You'll have to use that patience of yours."

"Thanks Joshy." I looked over at my clock and panicked. "Shit, Josh I gotta run. I should have left for work already."

"Alright butt I love ya." Josh said softly.

"Love you too." I grinned. He hardly ever tells you that he loves ya so I was extremely touched when he said this.

I threw on my scrubs and sneakers, grabbed my bag and stethoscope, said goodbye to Logan and locked the door behind me.

It's been a couple of hours since I clocked in and tonight wasn't as busy. I glanced at the clock and let Nancy, another nurse, take over the baby I was bathing.

Finally it was my dinner break and I was starving. I had run out of my apartment without a snack like usual and my stomach was really missing that food.

Sadly as well, I did not have time to pack a dinner so I was left with getting cafeteria food.

"Don't you know that shit can kill?" A pair of arms wrapped around me as I waited in line.

I turned around and ginned at Gerard. It was a nice surprise he would do once in a while and show up during my breaks at work. It was really cute how he knew my schedule too. "Don't remind me. I'll have to ignore the gag reflex muscle to survive it."

"That is why I brought you actual food." He smiled pulling me away from the line.

"Mmm," I walked with him and kissed his lips. "My hero."

Gerard took my hand and lead me to a table with a brown paper bag on it. "And as a bonus I helped make it."

"Are you sure I won't be better off with the hospital food." I teased giving his hand a squeeze.

He laughed sarcastically and sat me on his lap. "Don't you trust me?" He took out some tupperware and handed me a fork.

I rested my forehead against his. "Most of the time. So what did you bring me?"

He kissed my lips and opened the first one, "Lemon chicken, which I know you like, and cut it already for you and some garlic bread."

"Aww thank you." I kissed his cheek and looked over at the other container. "What's in that one?"

"Dessert." Gerard grinned. "That I took from your fridge."

"Oh so then I know it's good." I laughed and began to eat the lemon chicken. "It's actually good."

He had been rubbing my back. "You sound surprised."

"Can't say that I'm not." I took another bite full and fed some to him as we finished it up.

"So how much longer is your break?" He asked opening the dessert, apple crumb cake, which we made the other night.

I looked at my watch, "I still have ten minutes."

Gerard nodded and fed me the pie. We laughed as some of the apple dribbled down my chin. He leaned over and kissed it licking off the sweet syrup.

Gerard watched as I laughed and whipped the rest off with the napkin. He was still unnerved a month later. It was just so surreal how everything came together.

"Gerard?" I rolled up the napkin and closed the containers.

He shook his head coming back down to reality. "Yeah Jane?"

I smiled and shook my head as he still called me my middle name. "Are you doing anything this weekend?"

"Not that I know of?" He shook his head and pulled me closer to him making sure that this was all real; that I was real. That he wouldn't be waking up alone in some hotel room, like he had been when he couldn't stay with friends. A nomadic traveler was it how I put it? He smiled; that sounded so much better than a lazy bum. "Why? What do you have planned?"

"Well Josh is playing in Madison Square for his first time and invited me to come. I figured maybe you would come with me and meet him?" I played with the hem of his t-shirt.

"And get on his good side?" He smirked. I looked up at him surprised. "I've heard you arguing on the phone one or twice before."

"It's just that," I sighed trailing off.

Gerard placed a hand on my cheek, "I would be the same way if I were in his position; I get it. So sure, I would love to go if it means that much to you."

I kissed his lips and rested my head in the crook of his neck. "Thank you."

"So you have to go save lives now huh?" He held up my hand looking at the watch and kissed my wrist.

"Not tonight," I sighed. "Tonight I'm on the maternity ward."

He packed up the dinner and walked me to the elevator. "So then change those shity diapers the best you can."

I laughed and hugged him, "Thank you for dinner."

"My pleasure." He kissed me and pressed the down button and the up one for me.

He just held me in his arms as we waited for our elevators to arrive. My body ached to go home with him and just rest in his arms, but I still had five hours left my shift. During the night there really wasn't much to do.

It was me and two other nurses because really all you end up doing is reassuring the new mothers. Maybe only one or two babies actually stay in the nursery. So usually it's a quiet at night here.

When I went to unlock my apartment the door wouldn't budge more than a few inches because of the chain.

Logan barked happily and I heard some familiar voices inside. I laughed and shook my head. "Josh open up this fucking door."

"Temper, temper." He taunted me through the crack.

"I hate you." I pouted.

"Ha," Dave laughed behind the veil of his hair. "You know that look doesn't work with us."

"Jay, you love me don't you?" I saw him in the back. He had replaced Ben, their old bassist, thankfully. That kid never cared about the band. He really just wanted to settle down and teach, which I guess good for him, but he caused a lot of unnecessary shit at the time.

"Caitlin, baby, you know me better than that." He laughed and went away somewhere.

I groaned frustrated. "I swear to God that if my apartment is a mess-"

"We will be licking every crumb off the floor." The four of them recited behind the door, knowing the phrase I suppose I have yelled at them a few times before.

There were four of them in the band. My brother Josh, of course, played the guitar. Dave is the drummer. Originally it was those two and Ben, who started Cornucopia, but Ben couldn't sing, and he was vocals since Josh didn't want to, and he just wasn't serious enough to take things outside of the garage and the occasional local performance.

So right about when they were becoming known across the nation and outside the tri-state area, he bailed and went back to school. Thus they found Jay and Chris. Jay they found upstate New York where they would hang out on holidays since high school. But, he lived in Brewster, where Dave is from, which is how they knew him. He wasn't the greatest bass player right away, but they were desperate and he's amazing now.

And Chris, the new lead singer. They found him through my ex, Matt. He's from Danbury, which made things easier for when they had to practice. They started off getting known for jazz and they did that for a while during college and then expanded into what they really wanted to do rock and metal.

They wanted to change the band name actually, but they were already in too deep to be able to switch it. So that's basically the short version of how Cornucopia came together.

"Joshy please." I sighed. "I'm tired and I just want to sleep.

The door shut and I heard shuffling before it reopened. There, Josh smirked leaning in the frame. Some of his hair fell in his bright blue eyes. "Fine, but we have to do the thing."

I threw my head backwards. "Ugh, do we have to?"

"Yeah, yeah!" He giggled and stepped out into the hallway taking my stuff from my arms and threw it on the floor. "Okay, go stand on that end of the hallway."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. Even though I complained, this was just something my brothers and me did.

Some people have a secret hand shake, not us.

My brothers and I like to lift up our shirts and slam our stomachs together to get this popping sound.

It got started from watching Will and Grace when Jack and Karen touch bare stomachs. We got a kick out of it and it became the Hack siblings' thing. And then, whoa get this; if we got enough speed our stomachs would make this funny popping smoshing sound. What can I say, we're weird, so what?

"Ready?" Josh asked excited. "Go!"

I laughed as we ran towards each other like a game of chicken. Pop! Smosh!

We fell into each other laughing hysterically. "That was an amazing one."

He laughed, "Fuck yeah." He picked up my stuff and threw it on the small table. I rolled my eyes at his messiness and shut the door behind us.

I gave each of the guys a hug and took a seat in my recliner. "Did you walk Logan for me?" I asked knowing really, I was asking too much from these guys.

Chris laughed, "That's a good one Caitlin."

"Or should we say Jane?" Jay looked over at me with teasing eyes.

Dave waved a note in front of my face. I tried to grab it, but he yanked it away just in time. "Uh, uh, uh." He sat back on my couch and handed the note to Josh.

"So Gerard already walked Logan. And he's coming tomorrow night?" Joshed looked from the note to me.

I kind of felt like I was living a scene out of the Sopranos except Josh's lackeys were a bunch of buffoons.

"Yeah, I asked him during dinner tonight, well last night technically." I shrugged.

"I thought you had to work?" Josh asked me.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Josh what am I wearing?" I motioned to my scrubs. "He brought me actual food since I ran out of here without packing one."

"Aww Josh, maybe he isn't so bad now." Dave pushed some hair out of his face.

"You should listen to drummer boy over there." I smiled innocently.

Josh glared at Dave and shook his head. "Sorry?" Dave tried to save himself.

"Joshy, just give him a chance tomorrow. That's all I'm asking. Then, I'll tell Mom." I tried to compromise.

Josh sighed, "Fine, I'll try."