Memories That Vanished

I cooed Matt from the light sleep he had fallen into hours early. He rolled over and looked up at me with those hazel eyes that always made me melt.
"Yeah?" He asked softly, yawning after.
I smiled at him from where I sat on the edge of his bed, "Zacky called, Vladimir is adamant that he wants to go home, right now. So I've got to go meet them. Zacky is coming to pick me up,"
Matt pushed himself up so that he was resting on his elbows and replied quietly, "I could drive you if you want. So Zacky doesn't have to go out of his way, you know,"
"Don't worry about," I shrugged, "He can come get me,"
Matt nodded and sat up, pushing his blankets off of his jean clad legs. I watched as he stretched, his muscles flexing as he did so.
"You know, Your birthday is coming up soon,"I murmured and chuckled at the grin that overcame his face.
He nodded with a smirk on his face, "That is one of the few things I do remember. I'm going to be 29, right?"
I nodded.
"Wow," He mused, "It's like I fell asleep and woke up almost eight years later,"
"Yeah. You've come a long way from the 22 year old you were when I met you," I bit my lip and pushed my bed head away from my eyes.
"How did we meet, again?" Matt questioned, picking at a thread on his blue jeans.
"Matt," I whined, "You need to figure these things out on your own,"
Matt chuckled at me with a goofy smile on his face before he answered, "How is telling me how me met going to affect me?"
I thought about that for a moment before I shrugged, "Okay, rockstar, but this is the only thing I'm telling you,"
"Deal," Matt grinned, leaning against the wall that his small bed rested against and folded his hands in his lap, pretending to be a kid listening intently.
"We met after one of your shows," I stated, remember the day in my mind perfectly, "I had heard a lot about you guys so I decided that the drive from L.A would be worth it if I got to see the ever so famous Avenged Sevenfold,"
Matt grinned and I could feel his ego taking up the remaining space in the room as I began talking again, "And I was right. It was amazing. The stage names let you five be whoever you wanted to be up on stage and I was so envious that you guys got to be there, living like that.

But after the show I followed Brian out to your guys' van after hearing him say something about having a party back on the bus. I figured I could stop him and tell him how good you guys were. But instead he ended up drunkenly inviting me back to the bus to join you guys. I was stoked of course. I mean, I got to hang out with the biggest band to ever come out of Huntington Beach. I first saw you when I got on the bus. Matt Berry and Jimmy were throwing things at you as you took off your sweat covered t'shirt, cussing them out the entire time,"

I grinned as the memories flooded my mind and took over, "But that's all I'm telling you, Matt. I mean it,"
He just rolled his eyes and nodded, "Okay,"
My cell phone started ringing from my pocket so I hoped up and grinned down at Matt, knowing that it was just Zacky on the other like telling me that he was outside.
"I'll see you around, okay Matt?" I questioned as I walked towards the closed bedroom door.
Matt nodded again, "Yeah, of course,"
Matt got up and gave me one last hug, whispering "Thank you," into my hair as he did so.
"Of course," I repeated, letting him know once again that I would always be there to help him when he needed me. I said goodbye to Kim and Gary with hugs and walked out the front door with a sad smile on my face.

"How's he doing?" Zacky questioned as I sat down in the passengers seat of my own car.
I shrugged, "As good as to be expected," I murmured and clicked my own seat belt in saying "Hi," to Vladimir as he shouted about his day with Uncle Zacky and Aunt Gena.
"So you have fun?" I asked the boys, who both nodded with dimpled grins on their faces.
"Good," I grinned as Zacky pulled out onto the street, heading back to mine and Matt's home.
The boys and I sang along to 'Seize The Day' the entire ride home and Zacky was busting with laughter when we pulled up and got out.
"Do you guys do this a lot?" He questioned between chuckles.
Vladimir nodded, "Mommy, Daddy, Landon and I sing all the time!"
I chuckled as I unlocked the front door, Zacky following behind me with Landon in his arms.
The boys scurried up the stairs and Zacky and I made our way into the living room, both of us taking a seat on the couch to talk some more.
"He was torn apart when I walked in there," I murmured, my gaze meeting Zacky's green eyes.
"Yeah," Zacky said, "He was shocked when Leana just came out and told him. None of us thought that she was going to do that. We talked to her yesterday when she flew back and she said that we were going to sit him down and tell him,"
I bit my lip as I thought about the new information, my thoughts swirling and switching from one thought to another.
"Bryn?" Zacky's voice cut through my thoughts. I looked to him so he knew that he had my attention and he began talking again,
"Since telling Matt about Jimmy didn't mess up his health, maybe telling him about you and the boys won't hurt him either?"
Before Zacky could finish I was already shaking my head in disagreement, "No Zack,"
"But-," Zacky went to argue but I held up a hand to stop him,
"No! I want him to remember his children not re-meet them," I said with the tone of a plead in my voice.
Zacky sighed and leaned back against the couch, "But he'll remember in time, Bryn! It might jog his memory,"
"No," I growled, "Mattie will figure it out on his own,"
"And what if he doesn't?" Zacky asked seriously.
My heart ached at the thought and I sighed, "He will. He's already remembering some things,"
Zacky nodded slightly, "Like what?"
"Vladimir's favorite color, His age, and the fact that he feels something for me," I ranted quickly, "He's catching on to little things. He knew that we've cried over Jimmy once before,"
Zacky looked at me, surprised, and then pulled me into a tight hug. Neither he or I said anything while I rested my head on his shoulder, listening as the boys came trotting down the stairs.
"Momma!" Vladimir shouted as Landon said, "Mommy!"
"What?" I shouted, faux excitement lacing my tone as they both jumped into my lap. Vladimir helped his younger brother up onto the couch and then turned to me with bright hazel eyes, that I had seen for years and years before, that belonged to his father.
"One of Daddy's songs is on the t.v!"
"Really? What channel?" I asked, picking up the remote and turning to the channel that Landon told me, 71.
"Momma look! There's Daddy!"
"Mommy? Why is Uncle Brian hitting his head on the door?" Landon asked quietly, only to receive a loud laugh from Zacky.
"He's just messing around, Landon," I told him while smirking as Zacky showed up dancing with a skeleton, in a straight jacket.
"Why?" Landon questioned, his big eyes focused on me.
I looked to Zacky, he shrugged and said, "Because Uncle Brian is crazy,"
Landon nodded, soaking in the new 'information'. Vlad looked to Zacky and tilted his head to the left, staring at the pierced man.
"What?" Zacky asked conscientiously.
Vlad tilted his head to the right and glanced at the t.v again before he spoke, "Are you crazy Uncle Zacky?"
I laughed loudly while Zacky pouted, "No, Why would you ask that?"
Landon answered instead of his older brother, "Because you're dancing with a death person,"
Zacky and I chuckled at Landon's bluntness, something that he inevitably inherited from my side of the family.
"I'm not crazy, boys. I'm just acting,"
"Oh," Vladimir murmured, then hopped down from the couch. He helped his little brother down and they ran upstairs, Vlad shouting that they were going to watch Daddy from his room.

Zacky left a few minutes later, saying that Gena was expecting him home. Once I said goodbye I made my way into the kitchen to cook for the boys before bath time. Like always, I turned on my ipod, picking a song that would reflect my mood as I cooked.

"I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you..."

Grilled cheese and tomato soup was the healthiest thing that I could be bothered to cook for my growing boys. Seeing how that, and a few other things that could easily be popped into the microwave, was all the cooking I ever did. Matt usually was the one cooking extravagant meals every night for our sit-down, family dinner. And when Matt went away and became M. Shadows, I had learned to cook a few things so Landon and Vladimir would have something to eat besides take out food. Although, quite a bit I did order in Happy Walk seeing as any kind of chinese chicken had been my guilty pleasure since I was a little kid.

I called for the boys to come eat and Vlad rolled his hazel eyes as he climbed into his chair, the almost burnt cheese covered bread in front of him. I stuck my tongue out and picked Landon up from the floor, buckling him in to his chair and put the plastic tray in front of him.
"Bon a petite!" I joked, sitting down in between them and drenching my cheese sandwich in the milky tomato soup.
"Momma," Vladimir scolded, taking a bite of his own.
"Thank you, Mommy," Landon murmured, picking up a piece of the grilled cheese that I had cut up and sticking it in his mouth. I offered him some of my soup jokingly, knowing that he didn't like it. The two year old just blatantly ignored me and ate another piece.
I let my Ipod play while we ate and I ended up having to tell Vladimir not to sing with his mouth full, a lot. And Landon would giggle and throw food at the older boy that sat at the other end of the table. Which ended up in a full fledged food fight between the two.
And when I ended up taking their plates away Vladimir pouted and said,
"Daddy would've played with us," Before he raced up the stairs, ignoring me as I called for him.
I sighed, disappointed and looked to my youngest son. Landon stared back at me before the smart two year old muttered, truthfully, "It's true,"