Everything's Different Now

“Have you heard anything yet?” Kenny asks me as I take my apron out of my locker.

“Nope.” I shrug

“Are you ok? You seem a little disappointed.”

“No, I‘m not disappointed but I‘m not happy either. I don‘t know what I‘m feeling.” I sigh tying my hair up into a pony tail.

“I thought you wanted him gone.”

“I do- I did. I just don’t know what to do. Do I keep trying to give the letter back to him or should I just leave it?”

“If it meant as much as you said it did to him then he‘ll come back for it.” Pulling me into a side hug Kenny lightly squeezes my shoulder.

“But as far as he knows It‘s still ripped up into pieces. I don‘t even know if he knows I went to give it to him.” Walking out of Kenny’s comforting hold on me I close my locker and rub my hand over my face.

“You think his roommate didn‘t tell him?”

“I don‘t know, I don’t know the guy.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“To who? Joe?” I ask scrunching my face

“Yea”

“No. The last thing this situation needs is you getting involved. No offence.” I smile

“None taken.” he laughs following me out of the back room.

-------

Pushing through the doors of my apartment building I push my phone into my pocket, lightly shaking my keys in my hand I head over to my car.

“Joe!” I voice shouts from across the parking lot.

“Er yea.” I respond as the guy gets closer to me “I‘m sorry do I know you?” I ask once he stops in front of me.

“Barely. I‘m a friend of Erica’s.”

“Ok. What do you want?”

“I want you to stay away from her.” he answers bluntly, is this guy serious?

“Excuse me?”

“Look I don‘t know the whole situation between the two of you but the fact is she’s a close friend of mine and if you hurt her I will hurt you.” he threatened glaring at me.

“Are you threatening me?” I scoff

“No, I‘m promising you.” he muttered taking a step towards me.

“I don‘t know who- better yet, I don‘t care who you are, but you better back off, because like you said. You don‘t know the whole situation and the fact is what happens between me and Erica has nothing to do with you.”

“It does when she gets hurt.”

“I know Erica. A hell of a lot more then you and I‘m even willing to bet that she isn‘t hurt at all. She isn‘t afraid to confront me when I piss her off, and I know there is no way she would have asked you to come over here and tell me to back off.” Walking away from him I unlock and open the door to my car “Oh and by the way, I haven‘t seen or spoken to Erica in 3 days. But I‘m sure you know that, seeing as you‘re such good friends, which just leaves me to wonder why you‘re even here?” I smirk getting into my car and driving away.

****

Impatiently knocking on Erica’s door I step back waiting for an answer. She doesn’t know I’m here, I managed to get in without her having to buzz me in. I don’t plan on staying long I just want to tell her that her friend needs to stay the hell away from me.

As the door opens I look up, her eyes widen once she sees me and goes to close the door but I block it with my foot and push myself inside anyway.

“I would really appreciate it if you kept your friend away from me.” I say turning to face her as she closes the door.

“Hello to you too, and what are you talking about?” she asks not seeming to slightest bit shocked by the fact I just barged into her home.

“Some guy, your friend. Showed up outside my apartment building and threatened me- well he tried.”

“He did what?! I told him not to say anything to you. Why would he do that?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe he‘s crazy.” I answered shoving my hands into my jacket pockets.

“Joe, I‘m sorry. I‘ll talk to him… I‘m really sorry.”

Looking at her I see she really is sorry and I can’t help but instantly feel guilty for coming here.

“Don‘t apologise, it’s not your fault. Can you just make sure he keeps away from me.” I sigh trying to show that I’m not as annoyed as I made out to be.

“Yea.” she nods.

Stepping around her to leave she reaches out to stop me “Joe wait.”

“What?”

“I don‘t know if you‘ve been told but I- I stopped by your place a few days ago.”

“Yea I know, my friend Justin told me.”

“He did? It‘s just that you never contacted me so I thought you didn‘t know.”

Pulling my hand out from my jacket I briefly rub my forehead “Erica I told you we were going to leave each other alone.”

“I know it‘s just I really want to give you back the letter. It’s why I went to your apartment in the first place.”

“Erica what am I going to do with it now?”

“It‘s not in pieces anymore, I taped it back together.”

“Why?” I ask furrowing my eyebrows

“I felt bad.” Shrugging her shoulder she gestures me to follow her and goes into her bedroom. As she heads towards the chest of drawers in the corner of the room I look at the photos on the wall. I recognise the photo of her and her dad, directly below it there is a picture of me and her when we went to the beach. If I remember correctly she seemed a little down so I took her out to cheer her up.

“I would say things were simpler back then but they weren‘t.” Looking back Erica is standing behind me looking at the photo then at me.

“Nothing was ever simple when it came to you and me.”

“Here.” Handing me the taped up pieces of paper.

I guess I appreciate the fact she’s made an effort to do this, she didn’t have to after all.

“Thanks… I should probably get going.” I mutter as I push the folded letter into my jean pocket. Erica briefly nods.

“Do-Do you want a drink? Maybe a snack? I can get you a snack.” she says as I turn to leave the room.

“Erica I don‘t think-”

“It can be my apology for Kenny harassing you today.” she suggests looking hopeful.

Looking at her for a moment I wonder if accepting is a good idea, I can’t change my mind about what I want again. Then again this might be the last chance I have to fix things with her, and in a way that is what I really want.

“One drink wont hurt.” I shrug, a small smile appears on her face as she walks passed me and out into the hallway. I follow her into the living room, she gestures me to sit down.

“What drink do you want? And please don‘t say coffee.” she begs

“Whatever you have, I don’t mind.” I lightly laugh

“I think I remember what you like.”

Once she leaves I look around the room, there’s a few more photos on the cream coloured walls. I don’t recognise everyone on them but there is one I can’t help but keep staring at. It must be from her college graduation, she looks happy, really happy. I rarely ever saw her that happy when we were friends, it’s also unnatural. That must sound really stupid. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad she was able to reach the point in her life where she was allowed to just be… happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.

“Change of plans, all I have is orange juice and coke so take your pick.” She holds out two glasses and I take the one filled with coke. As she sits next to me, both looking awkwardly at our drinks then briefly at each other.

How is it possible for us to be uncomfortable around it other?!

“So-” she says breaking the silence “What do you do now? As a job I mean.”

“I‘m a chef.” I answer before taking a sip from my drink.

“Really?” she gasps “Sorry if I sound surprised, I just didn‘t know you like to cook.”

“Sure you do, don‘t you remember I used to make you those really great pancakes.”

“If I remember correctly you only did that once.” she laughs, I briefly laugh with her before questioning the situation.

“Erica, what is this?” I ask gesturing to the two of us.

“Conversation.” She shrugs

“But why are you doing all this? I mean why didn‘t you just leave it when I went home after you torn up the letter?”

“I just don‘t understand why trying to fix things between us is so bad. Joe I don‘t like fighting with you, when I saw you for the first time in 5 years I was shocked but I was still really happy to see you again. You can choose to believe me or not but the fact is I‘ve missed having you in my life.”

“What about that friend of yours.” I mutter running my finger along the edge of my glass.

“Kenny? Don‘t get me wrong he‘s great, but he doesn‘t know me like you do. There‘s a lot of stuff he doesn‘t know and that I have to hide from him. I don‘t have to do that with you.”

Listening to her talk I can’t help but believe every word that comes out of her mouth, even so there’s still that nagging voice in the back of my head that wants to know why?

“So why did you push me away?” I finally ask forcing myself to keep eye contact with her.

“When?”

“When I came to talk to you. Firstly there was my brothers wedding day when you told me to stay away from you, and again when I went to your work to apologise and to talk, and you said that you don‘t have feelings for me.”

“You were being mean to me and I said all those things because I wanted to be honest with you.”

“Whatever you say.” I muttered before finishing the rest of my drink and putting it down on the coffee table.

“Joe don‘t do that!” She pleaded her voice obviously louder then she intended. “Can‘t we just wipe the slate clean? Forget about all this stupid arguing we‘ve been doing?”

It’s pretty clear she really does want things to be good between us, and like I said before I really do want to fix things between us. Taking a breath I lean back in my seat.

“Ok, so how long have you known this Kenny guy, and if we were in a fight who would win?”

--------

“Do you want another drink?” I ask Joe noticing his glass is empty after the most recent top up.

“You‘ve gotten up like 5 times, I‘ll do it.” he laughed getting to his feet and taking my glass from me.

“Thank you!” I call out to him.

Who would have thought 40 minutes of conversation would make me almost forget everything that’s happened with Joe. It’s like old times when everything was fun, so that would be the period after the whole bet thing but before I left. Anyway the fact is everything is fixing itself out, we’ve just been spending this time catching up on everything that’s happen the passed couple years, well almost everything. The point is it’s good to have my best friend back.

“Joe how long does it take to get a drink?” I shout out as I examine one of my finger nails.

“Erica.”

“Yea?” I answer still looking at my hand

“Wh-what is this?”

“What‘s what?” I finally look up firstly noticing the innocent look on Joe’s face then at his hand which is holding out my ultrasound photo.

Oh fuck!