Everything's Different Now

Pushing my hands over my face I stare down at my somewhat decent attempt of taping the pieces of the note together. I don't even know why I've done it, it's not like I can give it back to Joe. I have no way of contacting him, I don't know where he works or where he lives. Maybe I've done it to try and make myself feel better. It hasn't work. This is ridiculous, I can't hate him and want him to forgive me at the same time. I feel like a yoyo, one day I can't stand him and tell him to fuck off, the next I want to make it up to him by putting this stupid letter together. I still don't understand how it can mean so much to him, I know he told me but it still makes no sense.

Ok, I'll find someway to give this back to Joe and that'll be it. We'll part ways and forget all this drama happened. Yea. Sounds like a plan.

****

So it took some time, 3 days to be exact but I managed to contact Denise and she gave me Joe's address, she also gave me his number but I don't plan on calling him. I've managed to convince Kenny to give me a ride and we've been sitting outside Joe's apartment building for a few minutes now.

"Erica can we just go, you obviously have no intention of going in." he complained running his hands over the steering wheel.

"I do, I‘m just... scared." I explained staring out the window at the apartment building.

"Of what?"

"I don‘t know. That he'll slam the door in my face."

"Well then he doesn‘t deserve the effort you‘ve gone through to return that oh so important letter."

"It means a lot to him." I shrug

"Well go on then."

Taking a breath I get out the car but quickly stick my head back inside "What if-"

"Go!" Kenny laughs.

Just as I approach the entrance I look for Joe's name on the intercom, locating it I'm about to press the button but the door is opened by someone I can only assume is a resident. She gives me a small smile as I step aside for her to leave. Once inside I head to the elevator and wait for the doors to slide open, I quickly check my pocket to make sure the letter is still inside.

Once I reach the right floor I head down the corridor and find the right door. Pulling the letter out of my pocket and lifting my hand I try and ignore my shaking fist and knock firmly on the door. After a few moments of silence I knock again this time hearing the distance sound of someone walking. I guess this is it. Moment of truth.

The door opens and just as I open my mouth I quickly close it again, someone who defiantly isn't Joe is standing in front of me. Wearing only a shirt.

"Can I help you?" The girl asks pushing a hand through her hair.

"Er, I‘m looking for Joe. Is he here?"

"No." she answers bluntly

"Oh ok. Thanks." I slowly step away, I'm both relieved that I've managed to get out of seeing Joe but I'm also disappointed that I haven't be able to do what I can here to do.

"Justin!" the girl yells making me jump a little "There‘s some girl here to see Joe!"

"Who is she?!" Another voice shouts from inside.

"I don‘t know... Who are you?" she asked bring her attention back to me.

"Erica." I nervously answer wanting to just run away and hide.

"She says her name is Erica." There is a long pause as she waits for a response "Justin!" She yells again after there's no answer.

"I‘m here." His voice is much louder now he's behind her, she walks away leaving me and this Justin guy alone.

"Er hi. I‘m looking for Joe." I speak trying to sound as confident as I can under the circumstances.

"He‘s a work. You said your name was Erica right?"

"Yea." I nod

"I can let him know you stopped by, or give him a message." he said briefly looking me up and down which just makes me feel even more uncomfortable then I already do.

"Oh no, don‘t worry about it. It‘s nothing."

"Are you sure? What‘s that?" he asked gesturing to the paper in my hands.

"Nothing. I was just going to give it back to Joe, but it's fine." I insist pushing it back into my pocket in case he tries taking it from me. The last thing i want is to have him reading it the moment i've left.

"I can give it to him-"

"No, really. Don‘t worry about it. Thanks for your help."

"Bye." I heard him say as I walk away. I just want to get out and go back home.

I can't believe I just did that.

---------

"Justin, why are you still here?" I complain throwing my keys onto the side table and heading to my room to change out of my work uniform. He's been here since last night, I don't understand why he just doesn't go home.

"You should be glad I‘m still here." he shouted to me from his position on the sofa.

"Oh course, I mean who else would I get to eat all my food." I shout back pulling my clothes off and grabbing a clean shirt and jeans from my chest of drawers.

"I‘m certainly not complaining, I haven‘t had to go food shopping in a while."

"Dude! Come on!" I groan picking up a discarded bra on the floor as I leave the room "What did I say about bringing girls back here?!" Throwing it at him he looks at the label.

"Who was a C?" he muttered to himself "Oh, yea it was that blonde girl. The one with tattoo on-"

"I don‘t care who she is. Just don‘t bring them back here, which reminds me. The one that was here this morning, why was she wearing my shirt?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest

"Oh yea about that. You might wanna wash it, she-"

"I don‘t wanna know. Just go home please." I beg grabbing his jacket and throwing it to him.

"Fine whatever." he sighs getting up, just as I feel some kind of relief to have my apartment to myself again Justin turns back round. "I almost forgot. Your girlfriend came looking for you today."

I quickly look up at him in shock "What girlfriend? Ashley?! What-"

"No not Ashley, trust me if she can round I wouldn‘t tell you about it. I‘m talking about the other one, the brunette.... Erica! That‘s it."

My eyes widen a little "Erica was here? What did she want?" I ask

"I don‘t know" he shrugged "I asked her if she wanted to leave a message and she said no. She was being a bit weird though."

"What do you mean?"

"She had a bit of paper that she obviously wanted you to have, but when I asked if she wanted me to give it to you she shoved it into her pocket and wouldn't give it to me."

"She doesn‘t trust people. I‘m not surprised she didn‘t want you to have it." I mutter.

"Another thing, you two need to sort yourselves out. Seriously, one minute you‘re chasing her, now she‘s chasing you. This is why I don‘t have relationships." he said as he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

Sitting down on the arm of my sofa I stare down at the floor.

First of all, how did Erica know where I live and secondly why would she come here just to give me back what I can only assume is that god damn letter.

I have two options, one I go find her... again. Or I completely forget about it and hope everything sorts itself out. Then again from past experiences with Erica it wont sort itself out. If anything it'll just get worse.

This was so much easy when I was angry with her.