Somehow Saving You

I twiddled my fingers nervously. No matter how many times I've been here I still feel like a wreck. I looked up from my hands when I heard someone clear their throat. The familiar burnette woman smiled at me from the chair across from me. She insisted since day one for me to sit in the lounge chair, but I refused.

"How are you today Cat?" Sarah asked. Her name on the desk read 'Mrs. Lane' but she didn't like last name bases.

"Decent. Went with some friends to the salon and spa today," I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Did you have fun?" I bit my lip while thinking. I hated this. I was always put on the spot here. Sarah was nice, but I didn't like people asking me questions. I wanted to leave this place permanently, but one of my friends who 'can't be disclosed' is still sure I need it.

"I guess. My mind was sort of somewhere else all day." She nodded, writing something on her clipboard. I bit my lip again. That was always nerve wracking.

"Are you still seeing Jimmy?" When he first showed up I told Sarah. She told me my mind was just projecting him to make things seem normal.

"Nope."

"Oh Cat, I'm hurt," Jimmy cooed from the lounge chair to my left. I didn't let my head turn or my eyes shift. The sooner I make Sarah believe I'm fine the soon I can leave forever.

"That's a great improvement," Sarah replied with an enthusiastic smile. I just simply nodded. Sarah sighed, looking me in the eyes. "What's on your mind Cat?"

"It's just... I think I want to play in my brother's band in his place. I think he'd want that," I said timidly. As I let Sarah soak that in I began to think about Jimmy and I's talk last night.

"Hey Cat?"

"Yeah Jimmy?" I called. When I looked into the mirror while brushing my teeth I saw Jimmy in the doorway. The look on his face meant serious business. "What's up?"

"I have something pretty important I want to propose to you." I nodded, knowing to let him continue. "I want to you to take my place in the band."

I began to cough, nearly swallowing my toothbrush. I spit out the excess foam into the sink before hurriedly cupping my hands to bring water to my mouth. Jimmy's intense stare never left me. I spit out the water before turning around to face my brother.

"Jimmy! I don't think I can do that!" I exclaimed maybe a bit too fast. His hard stare didn't change.

"Yes you can."

"But the guys are already planning to have Mike-"

"I don't want Mike doing this. You are my sister, you would do me much more justice." I began to shake my head very fast. I could never fill Jimmy's shoes. It was his spot. I don't think the band would want me to either. Mike was only temporary anyways, he wasn't taking Jimmy's spot. But Jimmy wanted me to take his spot.

"Jimmy! This band has always been you five. I can't just take your spot completely and petend everything is normal!" Jimny sighed, looking to his feet.

"I know, but at least think about it." I sighed deeply.

"Fine, I'll think about it." He smiled before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"You only think you do?" My eyes snapped to her's that were filled with confusion. "Why is it that you only think so?"

"Well part of me knows he would want me to. He had been teaching me to play since I could remember. But another part of me thinks that's dumb. I could never be as amazing as he was," I complained. Jimmy's eyes narrowed.

"Girl, I taught you practically everything I know! If you're not good enough to play in Avenged Sevenfold then I am a horrible teacher!" I tried to ignore Jimmy and keep my face blank.

"Have you tried talking to the rest of your friends?" I violently shook my head a fews times. "What's the matter Catherine?"

"I- I couldn't," I stuttered. Sarah's face read to continue. I sighed and bit one of my newly done nails. "They are like my brothers, but I am terrified to let them know my thought. It was always them and Jimmy. I couldn't try to fill in and think I belong. Only ignorant people would."

"Well Cat, if you are like their sister wouldn't it be more natural then just having some random guy come in and do everything?" I fell silent. I hadn't thought of it that way.

"So what do you think I should do?" I questioned quietly.

"Whatever your heart tells you," Sarah said simply. I sighed That helped none. "I'm sorry, but our time is up Cat. I will see you in two days."

"I'll be here," I muttered. I shook her hand before leaving her office. One hour every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. At least I'm half way through this week. Once I finally got outside I saw Brian waving at me from his Homage. Usually different people pick me up then dropping me off. It's between Brian, Val, Matt, Gena, and Zacky.

"So how was therapy?" He asked as soon as I slid into the passenger seat.

"Same old, same old." I slide further into my seat and watched the outside world speed by. Brian got the hint I didn't want to talk and stayed silent. Why don't I have my own car? Another mystery I'll never know.

"What do you want to do?"

"Absolutely nothing Brian." He sighed as we pulled to a stop at a redlight. He turned to me with a hard stare. "What?"

"You and I are going to Johnny's Bar. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You've been moping around that house doing nothing for two months. We are going out and I don't care what you say." I was about to protest but his eyes let me know I was going either way.

"Fine." With that he smiled and turned back to the road, taking off down the street.