Somehow Saving You

By the time I finally returned to my house it was already pass sunset. I had sat there for at least four hours. Not one phone call or text reached my phone. When I started up the walkway to my house I could see lights on in the living room. Since the guys know I hate lights being left on when no one’s there, I could only assume someone is still there. When I opened the door the quiet murmur of talking came to silence.

“I’m home,” I called. Which was pointless. Who else would just walk on into my house?

“We’re in the living room.” I started forward to the stairs, wanting nothing to see them right now. I would have to see the hurt on their faces again. I don’t think I could handle that. Shockingly no one stopped me from heading to my room. That sealed it, they didn’t want me in.

I tossed off my clothes carelessly before pulling on some purple, plaid, short shorts and a black camisole. I placed my jewelry on top of my dressed before crawling under my covers. I turned on my stomach with my head facing away from the door. One arm was under my pillow while the other was on top of the other. This was usually the way I slept when I had a lot on my mind.

I heard the front door shut and footsteps leading up the stairs. I closed my eyes and evened out my breathing. Hopefully whoever it was would think I’m asleep. I heard my door open and heavy footsteps approach my bed. It shifted letting me know someone had sat down behind me. I heard them sigh.

“I know you’re awake Cat.” I cursed softly before sitting up. I turned to see Brian’s silhouette in my dark room. The only light was coming from the moon that was barely in the sky. I looked down, nervously playing with a loose thread on my comforter.

“So…?” I trailed off, not having it in me to finish my sentence. Brian knew what I meant though. He sighed again, his eyes trailing my room. I just shook my head, laying back on my side. It was definite now. Brian placed a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

“Cat, get your ass back up here.” I stayed silent, tears burning the back of my eyes. He gave an annoyed sigh before grabbing my shoulders and pulling me back up. He forced me to look at him, a hand on my chin stopping me from moving. I looked at his brown eyes to see them filled with happiness. “We’ve agreed Cat. You are having Jimmy’s spot. Now it’s just the Sullivan spot.”

My heart stopped. They-they want me in? My tears began to fall. Not for sadness, happiness. It felt just like when I had played ‘Unholy Confessions’. I let out a sob and hugged Brian tightly around the waist. I buried m face in his chest making my tears stain his shirt. He wordlessly hugged me back, burying his own face into the crook of my neck.

“Tha-thank you. Thank you,” I sobbed. Brian ran a hand up and down my back. The tears wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t help myself. After ten minutes Brian gently lifted my face with his hands. He looked into my eyes for a few moments before connecting our lips. It was gentle and passionate. I kissed back, my arms wrapped tighter around his waist. When we broke apart I looked into his eyes. They held…guilt? “...You lied to me about last night, didn’t you?”

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-” My anger flared. Call it my bipolar mood swings, but I don’t care. I can’t stand liars at all. I shoved Brian away, standing to open my bedroom door for him.

“Please get out,” I whispered, looking everywhere but at Brian.

“Catherine, I-”

“Get out!” I screamed, my voice demanding. He fell silent and left as quickly as possible. I slammed my door shut and waited until I heard the front door shut before I let out a cry of frustration. I punched the wall closest to me which made my hand fly through the plaster. It’s amazing how my mood can go from dying happiness to complete and absolute anger.

“Baby girl, calm down,” Jimmy said as I entered the kitchen and yanked a Jack Daniels bottle off the top of the cabinet. It had been here since Christmas and I still haven’t drank it. I whipped around to glare daggers at my brother.

“Fuck you!” I spat. “You are just as bad as him! You fucking lied to me too!”

“Cat, Let-”

“No! I don’t want to hear anymore of your bullshit. I should have never listened to you,” I seethed. I opened the bottle, taking a huge swig of it. It burned my throat, but I couldn’t careless. I took another gulp, sliding down the wall. I broke out in tears, not sure why they were coming.

Within ten minutes the bottle was empty and I was wasted. My anger still hadn’t subsided though. I screamed, throwing the Jack Daniels bottle at the wall. It shattered on impact. I started to pick up everything breakable, throwing them around blindly. I walked into my living room, staring at the pictures. One caught my interest the most. It was on my last birthday. Jimmy had me on his back, running around with Brian chasing us. Matt and Zacky were sitting on my back patio drinking while Johnny was rolling on the ground laughing. I glared at it before letting my fist collide with it.

“Cat! What the hell?!” I glared at Jimmy, swaying on my feet.

“Fuck you Jimmy,” I slurred. My hand felt like it was on fire. I looked down to see small shards of glass in my hand and blood pouring out. “Oh.” With that my knees gave way. I fell onto the ground in the glass.

“Cat!” I ignored him, wanting nothing more than sleep. I felt someone shake me and I groaned. A pain was beginning to spread through my body. I opened my eyes and noticed more shards of glass in my arms and legs. I guess I threw more stuff in here then I thought. I saw the home phone sitting on it's stand only two feet away. I grabbed it and scrolled to Johnny’s number since he lived closest.

”Cat?” Johnny had answered after four rings.

“Hey Johnny boy. Uhm, I might need a ride,” I stated as my eyes started to get heavy.

”To where?”

“Oh, just the hospital.” I dropped the phone next to my head where I could hear Johnny frantically yelling to me. I smiled contently before letting sleep over power me.