Status: in progress
The Hardest Thing
I Don't Love You
He kissed my neck and collarbone gently as our bodies connected as one. He had a slow, steady rhythm, making sure we both enjoyed every second. His lips moved to mine as we came in unison; he slid out and took me in his arms. Our bodies fit perfectly together and he planted sweet kisses on my forehead, nose, then lips.
Everything was perfect between Jon and me, just as it had been for a while. We just enjoyed laying together when we heard a buzz across the nightstand followed by the familiar sound of Jon’s favorite song. I knew who was calling, it was the same person who always called. This time seemed different though; he looked at me and his brown eyes were comforting, but at the same time made me extremely nervous.
We both know that I shouldn’t be here
This is wrong
And baby it’s killing me, it’s killing you
Both of us have to be strong
“I love you, Aud,” he started, “but I have to go.”
“To her…”
“Audrey, please…you know I want to be with you.”
That was how it always went and the conversation would end there. I watched Jon get out of my bed, put on his clothes, and walk out the door. I couldn’t say a word, there was nothing to say. He had been with her before we met, it wasn’t anyone’s fault that we fell in love, it just happened.
I’ve got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep,
someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I’ll never forget the day I met Jonathan Toews. He lived a few condos over from me, I would see him every once in a while at the mailboxes. A couple of months after I moved in, we started to chat a little. I wasn’t much of a hockey fan, but everyone in Chicago knew that face; he was the Stanley Cup MVP and the captain of the team that “brought hockey back to Chicago.” I guess I just never cared who he was; he was my cute neighbor that I would talk to at the mailboxes.
One day my friendship with Jon changed, we were talking by the mailboxes for so long that he invited to his apartment for coffee. All we did that day was talk, he told me that he enjoyed having a friend that didn’t care about hockey and he told me about her. He kept his personal life away from the media, he wanted girls to believe he was single…sometimes I thought he wanted to believe it himself.
I’m not quite sure when our relationship changed, but when he wasn’t on the ice, we started spending more time together. He liked to just relax, so at the end of the day when I got home from work and he got home from practice, we would just sit and talk. One night, we were sitting on his couch talking about the Chicago skyline at night while looking out the window and then it happened.
He kissed me, slowly at first and then with more vigor. We both knew that we should stop, but hormones, emotions, something just took over. As he was kissing me, Jon took off my shirt, then his own. He kissed my neck, shoulders, and collarbone until he hit the one spot on my neck that made me let out a small moan. He reached beneath me and unhooked my bra with more ease than most guys have had. He took each breast in his hand one by one, he caressed my skin and swirled his tongue around my nipples, sucking gently, even nibbling a little. Every time I would moan, he would look up at smile then work his magic once again. Jon worked his way further down my body…my mind kept telling me to stop him, but the sensations going through me were just too strong. He unzipped my jeans with such ease and worked his mouth around my clit sucking, licking, nibbling, I couldn’t even tell, it was all just a wave of pleasure over my body. I felt his tongue and his fingers going in and out rubbing my gspot and I couldn’t control anything anymore. He had such control, he had done this before. My body tensed and my back arched as the wave of pleasure worked its way through. I started to shake and moan as the orgasm completely took over.
After I came, Jon climbed back on top of me and went back to my neck and my mouth, letting me taste myself. I could tell he was ready to continue, but before anything went further, there was a vibration coming from his pocket. It was her…instant mood killer. I knew it was probably for the best, but he left me longing for more.
When I got back to my own condo that night, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let myself lose control like that again. If Jon got too close, I would have to move away; he had a girlfriend and I knew about her, I knew everything about her. I knew everything about him; I didn’t want to lose the friendship that we had built over time…but unfortunately, I was falling in love with him.
I did my best to avoid Jon for the next couple of weeks and it was easy because it was right in the middle of his season; being friends with him didn’t make me want to watch hockey, for some reason I separated Jonathan Toews the Captain of the Blackhawks and my neighbor, Jon, an amazing friend and even more amazing person. The avoidance ended one night when he showed up at my front door; he looked pissed and told me that his team had just lost 4-0 to a team that they should have beaten. He might have made some mistakes in there, I wasn’t sure, but I could just tell he was angry. I gave him a hug and what happened from there was one of the most epic nights of my life.
He picked me up and carried me into my bedroom; he threw me down onto my bed and started kissing me as hard as he could. I was immediately turned on by how much he had taken control and how much anger was in every kiss. I was wearing a button down blouse and instead of unbuttoning, he tore my shirt off followed quickly by his own. He worked his way to my breasts were he used his teeth and tongue all over my nipples, the combination of pain and pleasure was so intense that I couldn’t stifle any of the sounds that were coming out of my mouth. He pulled my pants down and immediately shoved his fingers into my burning pussy, he started with one, then two…in and out…faster and faster…all while he mouth covered mine, tongue wrestling with mine; he made sure that he maintained control at all times. The building orgasm was one of the most intense of my life all from the anger as his jammed his fingers in and out. As I tensed up around his fingers, he pulled them out and replaced them with his throbbing 8 inch cock. He didn’t even give me a chance to get used to its size; he just started pounding furiously. I could see the look of anger and intensity in his eyes. The pleasure was too much for me to take, he moved his mouth from mine towards my collarbone, I could feel his teeth on my skin. He came with such fire that I could feel his cum shooting into me as my body shook from the intensity of my second orgasm.
After Jon pulled out, he put his clothes on and went home. I didn’t know what to think; I felt used, but I kind of liked it. He made me feel like I never had before. A couple of hours later, there was a knock on the door.
“Audrey, I’m sorry. I was just so mad after the game, I needed to get out the tension…I shouldn’t have used you like that…but the truth is…” he stopped there as I just looked at him, shocked by this apology, “the truth is,” he continued, “I missed you the past few weeks and I think I’m falling in love with you.”
I had nothing to say to that. I was falling in love with him too, but he and I both knew that he wasn’t going to leave her. From that day on though, we acted like we were in a relationship…until the phone rang, which is always did.
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
Jon would always walk out of my room in the morning after telling me he loved me and kissing me sweetly. Even after it had been going on for months, I still got butterflies from those kisses. Once in a while, I even caught myself tuning into a game when he was on the road just to catch a glimpse of either his smile or one of his awkward serious faces. Everything was always a secret though, she couldn’t find out.
Only an hour after he left, my phone rang and I saw his name show up. He never called me when he was with her, sometimes a text, but even that didn’t happen often.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Aud, I don’t think I can see you anymore.”
“But Jon…”
“I’m sorry, but I love her.”
“I thought you loved me?”
“She deserves me to treat her better. I can’t be with you anymore. I’m sorry.”
He hung up the phone and I just fell into my bed crying. I knew that this day would come, that was my punishment for getting involved with someone who was taken. The sex was always amazing whether intense and angry or sweet and sensual; he always told me he loved me at the end. He wouldn’t tell me that he loved me…I couldn’t hear anything in the background; I don’t think she was with him. Why didn’t he say it?
Everything was perfect between Jon and me, just as it had been for a while. We just enjoyed laying together when we heard a buzz across the nightstand followed by the familiar sound of Jon’s favorite song. I knew who was calling, it was the same person who always called. This time seemed different though; he looked at me and his brown eyes were comforting, but at the same time made me extremely nervous.
We both know that I shouldn’t be here
This is wrong
And baby it’s killing me, it’s killing you
Both of us have to be strong
“I love you, Aud,” he started, “but I have to go.”
“To her…”
“Audrey, please…you know I want to be with you.”
That was how it always went and the conversation would end there. I watched Jon get out of my bed, put on his clothes, and walk out the door. I couldn’t say a word, there was nothing to say. He had been with her before we met, it wasn’t anyone’s fault that we fell in love, it just happened.
I’ve got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep,
someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I’ll never forget the day I met Jonathan Toews. He lived a few condos over from me, I would see him every once in a while at the mailboxes. A couple of months after I moved in, we started to chat a little. I wasn’t much of a hockey fan, but everyone in Chicago knew that face; he was the Stanley Cup MVP and the captain of the team that “brought hockey back to Chicago.” I guess I just never cared who he was; he was my cute neighbor that I would talk to at the mailboxes.
One day my friendship with Jon changed, we were talking by the mailboxes for so long that he invited to his apartment for coffee. All we did that day was talk, he told me that he enjoyed having a friend that didn’t care about hockey and he told me about her. He kept his personal life away from the media, he wanted girls to believe he was single…sometimes I thought he wanted to believe it himself.
I’m not quite sure when our relationship changed, but when he wasn’t on the ice, we started spending more time together. He liked to just relax, so at the end of the day when I got home from work and he got home from practice, we would just sit and talk. One night, we were sitting on his couch talking about the Chicago skyline at night while looking out the window and then it happened.
He kissed me, slowly at first and then with more vigor. We both knew that we should stop, but hormones, emotions, something just took over. As he was kissing me, Jon took off my shirt, then his own. He kissed my neck, shoulders, and collarbone until he hit the one spot on my neck that made me let out a small moan. He reached beneath me and unhooked my bra with more ease than most guys have had. He took each breast in his hand one by one, he caressed my skin and swirled his tongue around my nipples, sucking gently, even nibbling a little. Every time I would moan, he would look up at smile then work his magic once again. Jon worked his way further down my body…my mind kept telling me to stop him, but the sensations going through me were just too strong. He unzipped my jeans with such ease and worked his mouth around my clit sucking, licking, nibbling, I couldn’t even tell, it was all just a wave of pleasure over my body. I felt his tongue and his fingers going in and out rubbing my gspot and I couldn’t control anything anymore. He had such control, he had done this before. My body tensed and my back arched as the wave of pleasure worked its way through. I started to shake and moan as the orgasm completely took over.
After I came, Jon climbed back on top of me and went back to my neck and my mouth, letting me taste myself. I could tell he was ready to continue, but before anything went further, there was a vibration coming from his pocket. It was her…instant mood killer. I knew it was probably for the best, but he left me longing for more.
When I got back to my own condo that night, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let myself lose control like that again. If Jon got too close, I would have to move away; he had a girlfriend and I knew about her, I knew everything about her. I knew everything about him; I didn’t want to lose the friendship that we had built over time…but unfortunately, I was falling in love with him.
I did my best to avoid Jon for the next couple of weeks and it was easy because it was right in the middle of his season; being friends with him didn’t make me want to watch hockey, for some reason I separated Jonathan Toews the Captain of the Blackhawks and my neighbor, Jon, an amazing friend and even more amazing person. The avoidance ended one night when he showed up at my front door; he looked pissed and told me that his team had just lost 4-0 to a team that they should have beaten. He might have made some mistakes in there, I wasn’t sure, but I could just tell he was angry. I gave him a hug and what happened from there was one of the most epic nights of my life.
He picked me up and carried me into my bedroom; he threw me down onto my bed and started kissing me as hard as he could. I was immediately turned on by how much he had taken control and how much anger was in every kiss. I was wearing a button down blouse and instead of unbuttoning, he tore my shirt off followed quickly by his own. He worked his way to my breasts were he used his teeth and tongue all over my nipples, the combination of pain and pleasure was so intense that I couldn’t stifle any of the sounds that were coming out of my mouth. He pulled my pants down and immediately shoved his fingers into my burning pussy, he started with one, then two…in and out…faster and faster…all while he mouth covered mine, tongue wrestling with mine; he made sure that he maintained control at all times. The building orgasm was one of the most intense of my life all from the anger as his jammed his fingers in and out. As I tensed up around his fingers, he pulled them out and replaced them with his throbbing 8 inch cock. He didn’t even give me a chance to get used to its size; he just started pounding furiously. I could see the look of anger and intensity in his eyes. The pleasure was too much for me to take, he moved his mouth from mine towards my collarbone, I could feel his teeth on my skin. He came with such fire that I could feel his cum shooting into me as my body shook from the intensity of my second orgasm.
After Jon pulled out, he put his clothes on and went home. I didn’t know what to think; I felt used, but I kind of liked it. He made me feel like I never had before. A couple of hours later, there was a knock on the door.
“Audrey, I’m sorry. I was just so mad after the game, I needed to get out the tension…I shouldn’t have used you like that…but the truth is…” he stopped there as I just looked at him, shocked by this apology, “the truth is,” he continued, “I missed you the past few weeks and I think I’m falling in love with you.”
I had nothing to say to that. I was falling in love with him too, but he and I both knew that he wasn’t going to leave her. From that day on though, we acted like we were in a relationship…until the phone rang, which is always did.
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
Jon would always walk out of my room in the morning after telling me he loved me and kissing me sweetly. Even after it had been going on for months, I still got butterflies from those kisses. Once in a while, I even caught myself tuning into a game when he was on the road just to catch a glimpse of either his smile or one of his awkward serious faces. Everything was always a secret though, she couldn’t find out.
Only an hour after he left, my phone rang and I saw his name show up. He never called me when he was with her, sometimes a text, but even that didn’t happen often.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Aud, I don’t think I can see you anymore.”
“But Jon…”
“I’m sorry, but I love her.”
“I thought you loved me?”
“She deserves me to treat her better. I can’t be with you anymore. I’m sorry.”
He hung up the phone and I just fell into my bed crying. I knew that this day would come, that was my punishment for getting involved with someone who was taken. The sex was always amazing whether intense and angry or sweet and sensual; he always told me he loved me at the end. He wouldn’t tell me that he loved me…I couldn’t hear anything in the background; I don’t think she was with him. Why didn’t he say it?