The Hardest Thing

I sat outside Audrey’s front door for the second night in a row. I looked on the sidewalk and saw a small brown spot where I had found Audrey crying only 48 hours before. I wanted to kill that guy for putting his hands on her, he deserved to feel more pain than he caused my Audrey. Around10, I finally saw her walking towards me. I stood up, waiting for her to stop, but she walked straight to her door, putting her key in the lock. The night before, I had no luck talking to her, but I wanted to keep trying.

“Audrey,” I started.

“Not now, Jon,” she said, just as she was doing since the previous morning.

“Please talk to me,” I replied as she opened her door and stepped inside, “I’m going n the road until Sunday.”

She wouldn’t even look at me. Two nights ago, I held her in my arms while she cried, what happened since then? I told her that it was over with Laurie, I was free to be with her. I should have ended things with Laurie months earlier; then, the fake pregnancy would never have happened.

I had to meet the team at the airport at midnight for our flight to San Jose. Coach thought that flying overnight was better because he could make sure we slept and would be ready for an early practice. I bought a pack of over the counter sleeping pills to make sure I slept the entire flight. I took one at the airport before we even got on the plane. The flight was only about 6 hours, but then we had time at the hotel before going to the rink.

“Tazer, you’re not looking to good,” Pat Kane said to me at the airport.

“Just took a sleeping pill.”

“Beer works too.”

“Thanks Kaner, I’ll remember that for next time,” I responded dryly.

Once on the plane, Sharpy came and sat down next to me; he could tell that there was something wrong other than the drowsiness that came from the pill. He asked me if it had anything to do with Audrey; it was at that moment that I realized people who knew could tell that Audrey was the most important person in my life. Sharpy didn’t ask about Laurie, he didn’t ask about the baby, he asked about Audrey.

“She hates me, Sharpy.”

“What happened?”

“Monday night, I saw Laurie drinking and I asked her what she was doing; I might not know much about babies, but I know that you’re not supposed to drink. Then she told me there was no baby. I went to be with Audrey and she’s been blowing me off, she won’t talk to me at all.”

“Did you tell her that you and Laurie are over?”

“Yeah, but she still won’t talk to me.”

“Did you ever think she’s scared? You started something with her when you were in a relationship with someone else; how does she know that you won’t do the same thing again?”

“Because I love her.”

“Tell her that.”

“I did.”

“Tell her again.”

Sharpy kept telling me that I should give Audrey space and then maybe she’d give in and listen to me. As he was talking, the sleeping pill kicked in and before I knew it, I was sound asleep. I woke up to him poking at me hours later when we landed in California. I made a comment about the poking and Sharpy and Seabs responded with Captain Serious jokes; everything was back to normal.

We got to the hotel and I followed Kaner to our room and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was back asleep. I had about four hours until our breakfast would arrive; I made sure no one touched my room service order. When I fell asleep, I found myself dreaming of Audrey; I made a goal that when I got home, I would make sure Audrey heard me out. I needed to prove to her that there was no one else in the world.

After San Jose, we were traveling south to Anaheim and Los Angeles before finally going back to Chicago. We were set to arrive in Chicago at about 4am on Sunday; it gave me time to get a little rest before I went to see Audrey. I was in a pretty good mood on the way back because we won all three road games and Sharpy and Seabs had been really helpful with giving me advice about Audrey.

When we got off the blame in Chicago, Sharpy wished me luck and we were on our separate ways. I went home and noticed that her car was in the parking lot, so she would most likely be home when I woke up. I couldn’t really sleep, I was too nervous. I really thought she would blow me off again, but Sharpy told me to speak softly and calmly and hope that she would listen. It had been almost a week since we last saw each other, I only wished she missed me even half as much as I missed her.

Around 9, I couldn’t try to sleep anymore, so I walked over to Audrey’s and knocked on the door. I hoped that I wasn’t waking her up, but at the same time, I knew that early in the morning, she was usually too groggy to really fight me. I waited a couple of minutes until I heard footsteps. She answered the door, her brown hair in a messy ponytail and she was wearing sweats and a tank top; she looked absolutely beautiful.

“Can we talk?”

“Jon, it’s 9 in the morning, what are you doing here?”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you, please, will you talk to me?”

“Fine,” she said opening the door and leading me into the living room. She sat down on the couch and just looked at me, “talk,” she said.

“Audrey, I want you to know that I love you and that I never stopped loving you. Laurie told me that she was pregnant and I needed to be responsible and stay with her. I had no choice but to leave you. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. When I kissed you two days later, that was impulse…being with you makes my life complete. I’m sorry that I left you the way I did.”

“Why are you coming back to me now? What changed?”

“The baby wasn’t real. Laurie told me that you knew that.”

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Would you have believed me? Jon, you ended whatever it was we had, if I had come up to you and told you that your girlfriend was faking a pregnancy, wouldn’t it sound like I was trying to get you back?”

“You could have tried.”

“I didn’t want to see you. It hurt me to even see you out my window…or when I saw you on TV. Twice, people gave me tickets to games that I couldn’t turn down; being there was almost impossible for me. I missed you more when I was around you.”

“You went out with another guy.”

“Yeah and he got mad when I wouldn’t sleep with him; I didn’t even like kissing him that much….because he wasn’t you.”

Then I realized everything; the reason he got upset and hit her, it was because she said no to him. It was my fault that bastard touched her. I also never realized just how much I hurt her. I was upset that she never told me about the baby, but she was right. I probably wouldn’t have believed her if she said anything; I don’t know if I would have even talked to her. I looked at her sitting on the couch and noticed that she was crying. I sat down next to her and put my arms around her, holding her as tightly as I could. At first, I resisted the urge to kiss her, but when those emerald eyes looked at me and I heard her say “I love you,” I lost all control. My lips touched hers and I felt that electricity that I had been missing, I leaned back into the couch and pulled her on top of me, not letting our mouths separate. My tongue found its way between her lips and began racing with hers; I never wanted to let go of her, for the first time in almost two months, I felt completely alive again. Then, Audrey pulled away and sat up at the end of the couch, tears were falling from her eyes.

“Aud, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this, Jon.”

“Why not, Audrey? We’re two people, we’re in love, why can’t you be with me?”

“How do I know someone else won’t come along,” she almost whispered.

“No one else could ever change how I feel about you.”

“Did you ever say that to Laurie?”

How could she even say that? When I met Laurie, I was only a teenager; she was the first girl I ever had a serious relationship with and she knew my family. It was one of those things that everyone in town just expected. However, with Audrey, it was something else. From the day I met her, I wanted to learn everything about her. Even before the first time I kissed her, I knew that Audrey was the most special person I had ever met. From then I learned not only her every personality trait, but I knew every inch of her body. I knew how to make her happy and I knew how to make uncontrollable sounds come out of her mouth. No matter how much I thought these things, I couldn’t figure out how to say it out loud. These were things she should know without me saying them.

“I never felt like this about Laurie. After a while, I was comparing everything she did to you; she never even came close. Audrey, I love you. I don’t know how many times I can say that,” I tried not to let my frustration show.

“I love you too, Jon, that’s why I’m so scared.”

I stood up and pulled her to her feet. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me; I looked her in the eyes and breathed in her scent. I’d missed that familiar smell; I could feel her going weak in my arms and I took that as a sign to kiss her again. I kissed her like I never had before, pressing my mouth to hers, licking her lips gently. I picked her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom, laying her down on her bed.

I climbed on top of her kissing her mouth, then moving down to the nape of her neck, sucking gently until I heard her sigh. I pulled her tank top over her head to reveal her perfect breasts. I moved my mouth downward giving each breast equal attention. I kissed each nipple gently, then used my teeth until I felt her body start to shake. I moved back up towards her mouth and she lifted her head to meet my lips halfway. She kissed me with a passion that I never knew she had; she was as hungry as I was to be together. I moved my hand down inside of her sweatpants and could feel the wet heat coming out. I let my fingers explore between her soft folds while never breaking our kiss. I removed her pants and all of my own clothing and climbed back on top of her.

I opened the drawer next to her bed and found the box of condoms that was always there. I slid one on and readied myself on top of her. Her eyes begged me to enter her; I used my hand to guide my erection into her sweet hole. I gently moved all the way inside of her and her hips bucked to meet my movement. She groaned as I entered her and I saw a smile come across her face. She was glowing and lighting up the entire room; I moved in and out being careful to increase her pleasure. She moaned with each thrust putting her hands on my ass and pulling me into her. The more she wanted it, the more turned on I became. I felt her walls tense up around me as if they were milking my dick inside of her. As her body shook underneath me, I had the most intense orgasm of my life. I pulled out and removed the condom. I put my boxers back on and she replaced her clothing; I climbed back into her bed and pulled her head onto my chest, wrapping my arms around her. I kissed her forehead and whispered, “I never want to lose you again.”