Status: In progress
Break the Mirror
School days, Cruel days.
The weekend passed slowly after Bee went home. Lena saw Chelsey and they went out to a movie where Len made an effort to avoid the snack table. She couldn't stand the looks she got from the people in the lines next to her, and the people working their; imagined or not they made her feel worthless.
They sat through a romance where the girl was trying to get the guy of her dreams to fall in love with her; yet it was in vain because he was in love with another woman. If a girl like that can't get the man to love her, what chance have I? pessimistic thoughts ran through her head the whole time and it was a relief when Chelz admitted she wasn't enjoying the movie either and asked if Lena wanted to go elsewhere. "I'd love to.." Lena breathed softly and all but bolted from the theater. "Was it that bad?"
"Oh yes."
A smile parted Chelsey's lips and she didn't understand at all what was really going through Lena's mind as she bit her lip and stared off into space, readjusting her baggy jacket and feeling self conscious standing out her on the street.
---
Sitting in her first period at school, memories from Saturday with Chelz were flashing through her mind as she slowly tried to shake them away and focus on her class. Science. Yet another thing she was horrible at. A deep sigh was starting to pass out of her throat as she watched Mrs. Thompson walk back and forth in the class teaching about atomic bonding, or something like that.
Lena started to feel herself daydreaming and happily slipped away from reality to her own little world where everything seemed just as it should be. For one, she wasn't sitting in a boring classroom listening to a monotone teacher ramble on and on about something she felt like she'd already learned years ago, and she wasn't who she saw when she looked in the mirror everyday. Lena Breeze Carlisle was pretty. She was like a model out of a fashion magazine, and she had everything she could ever want...
Suddenly, her daydream ended as the bell rang and she fumbled with her pencil to scribble down the assignment for that night. She knew she'd never get it done, but might as well have a chance, right?
Shuffling out of the classroom, Lena saw Elizabeth walking with her new friends to wherever those people might go while they were supposed to be going to class. She smiled at her momentarily, remembering that the almighty Bee had been at her house that prior Friday; but it was all just for show for her mother so that Mrs. Caudill wouldn't think her darling Lizzy was anything other than she had been so many years ago. Sweet, loving, kind, good.
Dragging herself back to reality yet again, Lenny ran off to her next class, hoping that she wouldn't see her Lizzy, or any of the 'popular crowd' for the rest of the day.
The school day was usually a surreal blur; humiliation and missing how life used to be and today was no different. Everyone seemed to look at her with a judgmental stare, every boy seemed to look right through her, and all the memories from when she used to have friends seemed to drown her; or at least that's how she felt that it was. It could have all been in her head, but even the imagined pain was like a strike straight to her heart. It never seemed to end, and everyday just seemed to get harsher. Maybe I'll be fine later. Maybe someday I'll be pretty... she thought to herself jogging around the track in gym class. She could feel her thighs pressing together just a little too much through her long shorts as she watched all the other girls with their little short shorts getting winks from the boys in the class. She ran a little bit behind the pack, trying to hide herself as best she could- But she'd never be able to hide from herself.
They sat through a romance where the girl was trying to get the guy of her dreams to fall in love with her; yet it was in vain because he was in love with another woman. If a girl like that can't get the man to love her, what chance have I? pessimistic thoughts ran through her head the whole time and it was a relief when Chelz admitted she wasn't enjoying the movie either and asked if Lena wanted to go elsewhere. "I'd love to.." Lena breathed softly and all but bolted from the theater. "Was it that bad?"
"Oh yes."
A smile parted Chelsey's lips and she didn't understand at all what was really going through Lena's mind as she bit her lip and stared off into space, readjusting her baggy jacket and feeling self conscious standing out her on the street.
---
Sitting in her first period at school, memories from Saturday with Chelz were flashing through her mind as she slowly tried to shake them away and focus on her class. Science. Yet another thing she was horrible at. A deep sigh was starting to pass out of her throat as she watched Mrs. Thompson walk back and forth in the class teaching about atomic bonding, or something like that.
Lena started to feel herself daydreaming and happily slipped away from reality to her own little world where everything seemed just as it should be. For one, she wasn't sitting in a boring classroom listening to a monotone teacher ramble on and on about something she felt like she'd already learned years ago, and she wasn't who she saw when she looked in the mirror everyday. Lena Breeze Carlisle was pretty. She was like a model out of a fashion magazine, and she had everything she could ever want...
Suddenly, her daydream ended as the bell rang and she fumbled with her pencil to scribble down the assignment for that night. She knew she'd never get it done, but might as well have a chance, right?
Shuffling out of the classroom, Lena saw Elizabeth walking with her new friends to wherever those people might go while they were supposed to be going to class. She smiled at her momentarily, remembering that the almighty Bee had been at her house that prior Friday; but it was all just for show for her mother so that Mrs. Caudill wouldn't think her darling Lizzy was anything other than she had been so many years ago. Sweet, loving, kind, good.
Dragging herself back to reality yet again, Lenny ran off to her next class, hoping that she wouldn't see her Lizzy, or any of the 'popular crowd' for the rest of the day.
The school day was usually a surreal blur; humiliation and missing how life used to be and today was no different. Everyone seemed to look at her with a judgmental stare, every boy seemed to look right through her, and all the memories from when she used to have friends seemed to drown her; or at least that's how she felt that it was. It could have all been in her head, but even the imagined pain was like a strike straight to her heart. It never seemed to end, and everyday just seemed to get harsher. Maybe I'll be fine later. Maybe someday I'll be pretty... she thought to herself jogging around the track in gym class. She could feel her thighs pressing together just a little too much through her long shorts as she watched all the other girls with their little short shorts getting winks from the boys in the class. She ran a little bit behind the pack, trying to hide herself as best she could- But she'd never be able to hide from herself.