This Is a Reason for Broken Wings

Matt looked so peaceful as he lay there, sleeping so soundly and such; pretty damn innocent in a way. I didn't want to wake him up but as I looked at my watch I saw that it was already around 6:30. We hadn't really stopped to eat all day so I knew that we'd be stopping sometime soon.

I took a deep breath and tapped Matt on the shoulder, hoping that that'd be enough to wake him up. When he didn't move I started to poke his shoulder instead, which only made him tighten his grip around me.

"Matt, wake up." I said softly, shaking him a bit.

"What?" He mumbled.

"Wake up yo ... I think we're gonna stop and eat soon." I said a little bit louder.

He let out a long sigh, finally opening his eyes, looking straight into mine. I was a bit taken back with the look in his eyes; there wasn't anger in them, nor was there annoyance ... it was something I've never seen at all in these fast four weeks that I've known him.

"So, um ... " I trailed off nervously yes, nervously - feeling his hand wander ever so cautiously down my back.

"Did you have a good nap?" I asked.

"Mhmm."

His hands slowly rubbed across my bare back that had been exposed when my shirt drifted up while I was sleeping, sending chills through my body. I stared at him, biting my lip slightly, debating whether or not to stop him before things got sort of 'out of hand.'

Matt's POV
As much as I tried, I couldn't stop my hands from wandering over Lauren's bare skin; it was like they had a mind of their own or some kind of shit. My breathing started to get uneven as my fingers fumbled with the bottom of her shirt, trying to push it higher to expose more of her flawless skin.

"Matt." She breathed, tightening her grip on my arm.

"What?" I whispered.

"W-what are you doing?"

I shook my head the best I could, seeing as how I was still resting it on the pillow, and continued to push her shirt up, revealing a good amount of her backside now.

"I don't know." I mumbled, tracing my fingers around the outline of the tattoo on her backbone.

I felt the corner of my lip twinge a bit, wanting to curve into a smile when I saw the goose bumps ripple across her flesh.

I tore my gaze from her back and looked into her eyes, trying to read her mind through them.

Right then I wanted nothing more than to press my lips to hers and discover what her taste was like, to let my hands roam her entire body and not leave one part of it untouched.
But the fact that her brother was most likely in the bunk below ours stopped me from doing so, as did the look in her eyes.

"Matt." She said quietly. "Please ... don't."

The high I was experiencing just then seemed to go flat just by that one stupid sentence, leaving me to feel like a fucking moldy douche bag as she pushed my arms away from her.

"I need to get out, please." She whispered.

I nodded my head and sat up, opening the curtains to peak outside into the hallway. I wasn't ready to go out into the front room just then so swung my legs over the side of the bunk, allowing for Lauren to scoot past me.

"Lauren, wait." I said suddenly, grabbing a hold of her arm to stop her from moving.

She turned her head towards me, giving me a questioning look.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered. "I don't really know what that was all about ... I promise I won't ever do it again."

Feeling my face start to flush, I focused my gaze on the random bouncy ball that was lying on the hallway floor.

"Hey." She said gently.

I still stared intently at the stupid ball, not wanting to see what sort of expression she had on her face.

"It's okay." She said, placing a hand gently on the side of my face, making me melt right then and there into her touch. "Forget about it, babe."

Fuck, how am I supposed to forget how fucking amazing it was to touch her and how perfect her body fit into my arms?
End of Matt's POV

In thirty minutes time I found myself wedged between Johnny and Matt while our group sat around a humungo booth in Applebee's, trying to figure out what we wanted to order. Honestly, I didn't know that there was a booth big enough to fit all fucking ten of us inside of it. But eh, here we are.

"Lauren." Johnny said excitedly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "What are you gonna get?"

"Eh, I don't know." I said, looking through my menu. "How 'bout you?"

"I don't know." He grinned, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "But do you wanna share a milkshake with me?"

I let out a little laugh, thinking about what a dork he was.

"Sure Johnny, why not?"

"Yes." He said triumphantly, removing his shoulder from my arm and got back to deciding what to order.

Before long we all figured out what the hell we wanted and a waiter stopped by to take our orders down. I knew it was gonna take a long as time for our food to get done, seeing as how there was ten meals to cook, so I started to throw spit wads across the table to my brother.

It kept me entertained for a few minutes, laughing as Zacky would shoot a dirty look at Syn every time I nailed him in the forehead because he thought that Syn was the one throwing stuff. But when Zacky realized it was me he gave me the evil eye and I knew that was the end of that.

I glanced over at Matt, who was looking as if he was trying his hardest to avoid contact with me.

"Are you comfortable over there?" I asked, referring to how he was on the very edge of the bench.

"Oh, very ... I'm fucking hanging on with only one butt cheek here." He grinned. "Scoot your ass over." He added.

"Dude, I can't scoot over." I protested.

"Sure you can." He smirked, moving down on the bench so that I was absolutely pinned between him and Johnny.

"Dude ... not cool." I mumbled, trying to wriggle myself free.

I managed to swing my legs up onto the top of his, which was a lot more comfortable than being squished between the two lards asses.

"Oh, hello there." He said in his 'trying to be sexy' voice, placing one of his hands on the top of my leg.

"Hi." I replied in the same tone, laughing a bit.

"You wanna go some where later?" He joked.

"Hmm, like where?"

"Eh ... Back of the bus maybe."

"Hey, hey, what the hell are you guys talking about over there?" Zacky interjected.

"Nothing." I smirked.

"No more of that kind of talk."

"Geesh, we were just joking around." I mumbled.

"I don't care ... I don't want to hear my baby sister talking to one of my best friends like that ... it's weird." He said, frowning a bit to himself. "Hey, and get your damn hands where I can see them." He shot at Matt.

Matt raised his hands slowly like one would do when told by a cop to put their hands in the air.

"Alright ... You too Lauren." Zacky said, narrowing his eyes at me.

I raised my hands, making sure to flip him the bird with both of them before I sat them on the table.

"Zacky, you're retarded." Amber laughed, placing a kiss on his cheek to get his attention away from me and Matt.

With Zacky's stare broken, Matt took the liberty to slip his hand back to my leg, adjusting himself so that he was a bit more comfortable.

"Well ... " Zacky trailed off, mumbling some other random things under his breath.

I rolled my eyes and looked back to Matt who was focused on something across the room. Suddenly his face went stark white and his body became rigid.

"Matt, what's wr-"

"Well, if it isn't my friends."

Fuck, don't tell me ...

"A-Alex?" Matt stuttered, looking up at him as he came to a stop beside our booth. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"The same thing you guys are here for." He smirked.

Alex looked from Matt's shocked expression to me and lowered his eyes to my legs where Matt's hand was resting.

"Hmm ... Wishful thinking?" He asked, smirking at Matt, who in turned flushed a bright red, removing his hand.

"Is there a reason you came over here Alex?" I asked coldly.

"Oh, no, not really. Just wanted to stop by and let you guys know that we're gonna be sharing the same stage ... in case you guys didn't hear." He said smugly.

"Well, thanks for giving us the heads up so you could fucking leave now." Syn snapped, narrowing his eyes at Alex.

"Actually, I would have already left but I'm waiting for my fiance." He said, smirking at Matt when he said 'fiance.'

There was some slight, sharp intakes of breath because we all knew perfectly well who his 'fiance' would be.

"Oh, here she is now."

Everybody turned and looked, spotting Val making her way between some tables and booths, heading towards Alex.

"Hey hun, there you ar-"

She stopped short, realizing who Alex was talking to just then.

"Already tying the knot, huh Val?" Amber asked coldly, shooting daggers at her from her eyes.

"W-what?" She stuttered. "Oh ... Nothings decided yet." She mumbled, glancing up at Alex and then to the ground.

"Funny, that ring on your finger sure seems to say it all." Alyssa spat.

"I ... Um ... Well ..." She trailed off, her expression falling completely.

"Its okay babe, you don't need to explain anything to them." Alex said as if we wouldn't be able to hear him. "Why don't you go and tell the guys we'll be leaving soon."

She nodded her head and turned around without another word or glance directed at us.

"I can't tell you how great it feels to be engaged." Alex said, trying his hardest to rub it into Matt's face.

I saw Matt clenching both his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white as he did so. I reached over and grabbed his hand that was on my leg, trying to calm him down.

"Matt, don't listen to him." I whispered, succeeding in opening his clenched fist so I could take his hand in my own.

"So I guess I'll see you guys in New Jersey." Alex said 'cheerfully' as he walked away.

"That motherfuckin', motherfucker ... I swear I'll ... " Matt trailed off, looking after Alex with pure hatred.

"Matt, calm down." Jimmy said quietly.

"Fuck! How the fuck am I supposed to calm down?! That son of a bitch stole my girlfriend from me and now the asshole's gonna marry her damn it!" Matt snapped.

"Sometimes you can't help these things Matt." I said. "I mean, Val made her own choices as well ... Alex didn't force her to go with him ..." I trailed off, not really knowing what else to say.

"I know but ... fuck. You don't understand how much she fucking means to me." He said, clearly trying to hold back tears.

I nodded my head, indicating that I didn't know how he felt what with all these emotional ties and such.

"Matt, you'll find someone else, I know you will." I said reassuringly.

"That's easy for you to say Lauren." He said coldly. "You've learned to block out any sort of feelings you have for those around you and you can't even imagine how it feels to have your heart ripped out by the one and only fucking person you love."
I let go of Matt's hand, looking at him in shock.

"Fuck, I'm fucking sorry that I can't fully comprehend all the hurt you're going through right now." I said sarcastically. "So forgive me for trying to comfort you bitch." I said bitterly, letting my legs slide off of his and back to the bench.

I turned and grabbed my mountain dew, fiddling with the ice floating around in the cup while trying to avoid the uneasy looks the gang was shooting at Matt and I.

"I'm sorry Lauren." Matt sighed, while I continued to stare coldly at my drink. "I just ... You don't know how much it hurts to know that your dreams will never come true and shit."

"Don't fucking try to act like you know exactly what I do and do not know." I spat venomously. "I do fucking know how much it hurts to realize that your dreams will never be a reality ... I know what that feels like a lot better than you do."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that you really fucking do." He snapped and got up, storming towards the front door.

I glared after him, feeling a bitter hate pulse through my veins much like when I first met Matt and thought him to be a cocky, arrogant, asshole.

"You know you should go ap-"

"I'm not gonna fucking apologize to him." I snapped cutting Zacky off. "It's the fucking truth; I do know how much it hurts."

"I know you do ... But Matt doesn't understand ... Go talk to him."

"Um, Zacky, why don't you just give them some time to cool off?" Lissa asked; she knew exactly what it was that Zacky and I were talking about.

"Fine." He sighed, seeing that our food had arrived.

I sighed as well, disliking the look he gave me, and knew that the only way I could escape it was to go and talk to Matt.

"Excuse me, but can I get a couple boxes for these?" I asked the waiter, pointing to me and Matt's plates.

"Of course."