This Is a Reason for Broken Wings
A Change Of Heart
I sat around in the front room of the bus, waiting impatiently for the rest of the gang to finish getting ready because I knew for damn sure that there was a bottle of 151 in the bar with my name written all over it. Glancing at my watch, I huffed slightly, seeing that it was already 10:34 ... We should have already been out of here but no, we had to wait for some slow pokes.
Before long Matt came in and took a seat next to me on the couch, folding his hands neatly in his lap.
"Brother, hurry the fuck up!" I yelled, getting grumpy because we all know how much I hate having to wait.
"Shush." He said, walking into the room.
"Holy crap, why do you insist on dragging your fucking ass all the time?" I asked, seeing that he didn't even have a shirt on yet.
"Because I know you love it when I do." He smirked, flicking my nose as he reached over to grab his shirt sitting behind me on the top of the seat.
"Owch." I frowned, rubbing it. "You stupid crack whore."
"You stupid slut."
"Fuckin AID's guy."
"STD carrier."
"Fuck off you walking, talking, dildo." I said angrily, punching him in his stomach.
"Ow, bitch." He said, hitting me upside the head.
"Get off me fag." I said, pushing him.
"Awww, are you gonna pout now?" He asked sarcastically, catching the evil eye I was giving him.
Matt's POV
I sat there laughing to myself a bit as I watched Lauren and Zacky bickering back and forth. Although she seemed like she was mad at him, I knew that it'd pass over in a few minutes. It's just this little thing they'd always do, fight a little bit just like normal siblings always did.
"Aww, are you gonna pout now?" Zacky asked Lauren as she glared at him.
Suddenly she lunged at him, catching him around the waist and knocked him off his feet, slapping whatever part of him she could reach.
"Damn it Zacky, just shut up." She said, while continuing to slap him.
"Get off me whore." Zacky said, shielding his face from another of her slaps.
I laughed some more as I got up and easily lifted her off of him.
"Come on Lauren." I said, throwing her over my shoulder and headed for the door. "We'll see you guys at the bar." I called back to Zacky, who was still lying on the floor.
Outside I set Lauren down and we started our walk to the bar a couple blocks down from where our bus was parked.
"So ... " I said, trying to break the silence.
"I don't have STD's." She mumbled, not bothering to look at me.
"Er ... I didn't think you did." I said, cocking my head sideways to look at her.
"Oh, well, I just wanted to clarify that." She said, laughing slightly. "Fuck, its cold out here." She added, shivering slightly.
"You could take my jacket." I offered, wishing I could take it back because of the fact that I wasn't even wearing a jacket to begin with.
"Err, it looks like someone else might have already taken it." She smirked, realizing that I didn't have one on either.
"I ... Shut up." I blushed.
These past few weeks I've been thinking to myself about ... all sorts of things. I hadn't seen Val since that day I saw her in Applebee's ... which is a good thing I guess.
Anyway, like I said, I've been thinking to myself a lot. And the truth is ... I think I'm falling for Lauren ... hard. I would tell her, but fuck, I'm too scared to tell her. I'm scared because I know that nothing would ever happen between us; I know that she's not willing to open up to anybody like that.
You're probably saying, fuck, just stop being a fucking pussy and tell her but ... I can't. Sure, it'd be good for her to know I have these feelings and shit but in all reality, it hurts like a bitch when someone knows how fucking much you like them ... and just refuse to do anything about it. I couldn't go through that pain ... Not again. So I figured I'd just admit these feelings to myself and hopefully, hopefully, those feelings would subside.
I glanced down at Lauren, hugging her bare arms in hopes that she'd be able to warm herself up, and smiled to myself.
"Maybe if you wore some clothes you wouldn't be freezing." I joked, referring to her green halter top and black miniskirt.
"Piss off." She said, sticking her tongue out at me.
I laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against my side. Hey, just because I wasn't gonna pour my feelings out to her doesn't mean I not gonna flirt with her and shit; I'm still a guy after all. My heart seemed to skip a beat as she wrapped an arm around my waist, her hand coming to a rest on my hip.
"You warmer now?" I asked quietly.
"Mhmm." She grinned, making me a bit weak in the knees.
Fuck, I sure do have it bad, damn it.
Although Lauren and I had only been at the bar for forty-five minutes we were already straddling the line between a damn good buzz and being classified as drunk.
"Dude, I'm done ... I don't know if I can make it back to the bus." I mumbled, setting down an empty bottle of JD.
"What? Come on Matt, I'm not even drunk yet." She slurred somewhat. "I mean, Johnny's not even drunk yet." She added, struggling to point a finger across the bar to Johnny who was sitting all by himself, looking like he was hitting on the bartender.
I shook my head. "I can't ... I know, call me a light weight."
"Alright, light weight." She laughed, flashing me a smile.
Although it was a drunken smile it still managed to make me feel all giddy inside.
"So what, you're just jealous." I smirked, pulling her across the bench and onto my lap.
Luckily Zacky was MIA with Amber just then so I didn't have to worry about him kicking my ass. And luckily, Jimmy, Alyssa, Syn, and Lissa were off towards the back of the room, playing a game of pool so no one really noticed that Lauren and I had been flirting non-stop since we got here. And JB ... Well, I had no idea where he was.
"Yeah, I'm jealous because I'm not a light weight." She giggled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and rested her head on top of them.
She let out a little yawn, cuddling into my chest as she did so, and closed her eyes.
"Are you tired?" I asked.
"Eh, a little." She said, raising a hand to indicate how much with her fingers.
"You wanna go back to the bus?"
"Sure." She said, standing up.
She turned around and held out her hands, which I gladly took in my own, and helped pull me to my feet. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders while she wrapped an arm around my waist, we sort of used one another for support as we made our way across the bar to Johnny.
"Hey Johnny." Lauren said, causing him to look up from his beer. "If my brother asks, I'm still sober and I helped Matt walk back to the bus because he's a light weight."
"Eh ... I might just do that ... But what's in it for me?" He asked, smirking slightly at the sight of us.
Damn, I forgot that I had confessed to Johnny about my little crush I had on Lauren.
"Um ... " Lauren trailed off, trying to think of something.
Suddenly she reached over and pressed her lips to his, instantly shoving her tongue into his mouth. I would have been laughing my ass off at Johnny's expression but the major jealousy that was pumping through my blood just then prevented me from doing so.
After a few seconds Johnny regained his composure and started to kiss her back, pulling her out of my grip and more in towards him. I narrowed my eyes at the sight of them, holding back the biggest urge to just clock Johnny with a left hook.
Finally, I wrapped my arm back around Lauren's shoulders and pulled her away from him.
"There's more where that came from if you do what I say." Lauren said, flashing Johnny a wink as we started to head towards the door.
"O-okay." He said breathlessly, staring after us.
Once we got outside I silently thanked the night air as it flooded my skin, seeming to put out the fire created by the alcohol in my system. It took us a while but fifteen minutes and a couple scraped knees later (Lauren actually fell down once or twice) we stood outside the bus, trying our hardest to remember the code to get the door open.
Suddenly, it swung open and Papa Gates stood on the steps, giving us a puzzled look.
"I thought you guys would be able to hold out a lot longer than an hour." He grinned, holding out a hand to help Lauren up the stairs.
"Eh, so did I." I said, tripping a bit on the steps.
He laughed as he watched me and Lauren stumble over to the couch.
"Well, I'm gonna head to the bar and check it out. Chris, Tanner, and Davey already headed over there."
"Alright." I sighed (Chris, Tanner, and Davey are our roadies/techs, just to clarify that). "Have fun."
"Yeah, and you two stay out of trouble."
End of Matt's POV
Before long Matt came in and took a seat next to me on the couch, folding his hands neatly in his lap.
"Brother, hurry the fuck up!" I yelled, getting grumpy because we all know how much I hate having to wait.
"Shush." He said, walking into the room.
"Holy crap, why do you insist on dragging your fucking ass all the time?" I asked, seeing that he didn't even have a shirt on yet.
"Because I know you love it when I do." He smirked, flicking my nose as he reached over to grab his shirt sitting behind me on the top of the seat.
"Owch." I frowned, rubbing it. "You stupid crack whore."
"You stupid slut."
"Fuckin AID's guy."
"STD carrier."
"Fuck off you walking, talking, dildo." I said angrily, punching him in his stomach.
"Ow, bitch." He said, hitting me upside the head.
"Get off me fag." I said, pushing him.
"Awww, are you gonna pout now?" He asked sarcastically, catching the evil eye I was giving him.
Matt's POV
I sat there laughing to myself a bit as I watched Lauren and Zacky bickering back and forth. Although she seemed like she was mad at him, I knew that it'd pass over in a few minutes. It's just this little thing they'd always do, fight a little bit just like normal siblings always did.
"Aww, are you gonna pout now?" Zacky asked Lauren as she glared at him.
Suddenly she lunged at him, catching him around the waist and knocked him off his feet, slapping whatever part of him she could reach.
"Damn it Zacky, just shut up." She said, while continuing to slap him.
"Get off me whore." Zacky said, shielding his face from another of her slaps.
I laughed some more as I got up and easily lifted her off of him.
"Come on Lauren." I said, throwing her over my shoulder and headed for the door. "We'll see you guys at the bar." I called back to Zacky, who was still lying on the floor.
Outside I set Lauren down and we started our walk to the bar a couple blocks down from where our bus was parked.
"So ... " I said, trying to break the silence.
"I don't have STD's." She mumbled, not bothering to look at me.
"Er ... I didn't think you did." I said, cocking my head sideways to look at her.
"Oh, well, I just wanted to clarify that." She said, laughing slightly. "Fuck, its cold out here." She added, shivering slightly.
"You could take my jacket." I offered, wishing I could take it back because of the fact that I wasn't even wearing a jacket to begin with.
"Err, it looks like someone else might have already taken it." She smirked, realizing that I didn't have one on either.
"I ... Shut up." I blushed.
These past few weeks I've been thinking to myself about ... all sorts of things. I hadn't seen Val since that day I saw her in Applebee's ... which is a good thing I guess.
Anyway, like I said, I've been thinking to myself a lot. And the truth is ... I think I'm falling for Lauren ... hard. I would tell her, but fuck, I'm too scared to tell her. I'm scared because I know that nothing would ever happen between us; I know that she's not willing to open up to anybody like that.
You're probably saying, fuck, just stop being a fucking pussy and tell her but ... I can't. Sure, it'd be good for her to know I have these feelings and shit but in all reality, it hurts like a bitch when someone knows how fucking much you like them ... and just refuse to do anything about it. I couldn't go through that pain ... Not again. So I figured I'd just admit these feelings to myself and hopefully, hopefully, those feelings would subside.
I glanced down at Lauren, hugging her bare arms in hopes that she'd be able to warm herself up, and smiled to myself.
"Maybe if you wore some clothes you wouldn't be freezing." I joked, referring to her green halter top and black miniskirt.
"Piss off." She said, sticking her tongue out at me.
I laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against my side. Hey, just because I wasn't gonna pour my feelings out to her doesn't mean I not gonna flirt with her and shit; I'm still a guy after all. My heart seemed to skip a beat as she wrapped an arm around my waist, her hand coming to a rest on my hip.
"You warmer now?" I asked quietly.
"Mhmm." She grinned, making me a bit weak in the knees.
Fuck, I sure do have it bad, damn it.
*****
Although Lauren and I had only been at the bar for forty-five minutes we were already straddling the line between a damn good buzz and being classified as drunk.
"Dude, I'm done ... I don't know if I can make it back to the bus." I mumbled, setting down an empty bottle of JD.
"What? Come on Matt, I'm not even drunk yet." She slurred somewhat. "I mean, Johnny's not even drunk yet." She added, struggling to point a finger across the bar to Johnny who was sitting all by himself, looking like he was hitting on the bartender.
I shook my head. "I can't ... I know, call me a light weight."
"Alright, light weight." She laughed, flashing me a smile.
Although it was a drunken smile it still managed to make me feel all giddy inside.
"So what, you're just jealous." I smirked, pulling her across the bench and onto my lap.
Luckily Zacky was MIA with Amber just then so I didn't have to worry about him kicking my ass. And luckily, Jimmy, Alyssa, Syn, and Lissa were off towards the back of the room, playing a game of pool so no one really noticed that Lauren and I had been flirting non-stop since we got here. And JB ... Well, I had no idea where he was.
"Yeah, I'm jealous because I'm not a light weight." She giggled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and rested her head on top of them.
She let out a little yawn, cuddling into my chest as she did so, and closed her eyes.
"Are you tired?" I asked.
"Eh, a little." She said, raising a hand to indicate how much with her fingers.
"You wanna go back to the bus?"
"Sure." She said, standing up.
She turned around and held out her hands, which I gladly took in my own, and helped pull me to my feet. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders while she wrapped an arm around my waist, we sort of used one another for support as we made our way across the bar to Johnny.
"Hey Johnny." Lauren said, causing him to look up from his beer. "If my brother asks, I'm still sober and I helped Matt walk back to the bus because he's a light weight."
"Eh ... I might just do that ... But what's in it for me?" He asked, smirking slightly at the sight of us.
Damn, I forgot that I had confessed to Johnny about my little crush I had on Lauren.
"Um ... " Lauren trailed off, trying to think of something.
Suddenly she reached over and pressed her lips to his, instantly shoving her tongue into his mouth. I would have been laughing my ass off at Johnny's expression but the major jealousy that was pumping through my blood just then prevented me from doing so.
After a few seconds Johnny regained his composure and started to kiss her back, pulling her out of my grip and more in towards him. I narrowed my eyes at the sight of them, holding back the biggest urge to just clock Johnny with a left hook.
Finally, I wrapped my arm back around Lauren's shoulders and pulled her away from him.
"There's more where that came from if you do what I say." Lauren said, flashing Johnny a wink as we started to head towards the door.
"O-okay." He said breathlessly, staring after us.
Once we got outside I silently thanked the night air as it flooded my skin, seeming to put out the fire created by the alcohol in my system. It took us a while but fifteen minutes and a couple scraped knees later (Lauren actually fell down once or twice) we stood outside the bus, trying our hardest to remember the code to get the door open.
Suddenly, it swung open and Papa Gates stood on the steps, giving us a puzzled look.
"I thought you guys would be able to hold out a lot longer than an hour." He grinned, holding out a hand to help Lauren up the stairs.
"Eh, so did I." I said, tripping a bit on the steps.
He laughed as he watched me and Lauren stumble over to the couch.
"Well, I'm gonna head to the bar and check it out. Chris, Tanner, and Davey already headed over there."
"Alright." I sighed (Chris, Tanner, and Davey are our roadies/techs, just to clarify that). "Have fun."
"Yeah, and you two stay out of trouble."
End of Matt's POV