This Is a Reason for Broken Wings

Matt's POV
"Us?" Lauren asked, cocking her head to the side a bit.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered as her head stunning eyes bore into mine.

"Uh ... What about us?"

The bluntness of her statement seemed to cut dully through my courage that I had been building up to admit my feeling to her, absolutely severing it from my ego. I should have known better than to think that she'd have thought about our little fling together more than ... well ... a fling. Fuck, I was an idiot.

"I ... Er ... About last night ... We're not gonna let that get in the way of our friendship ... Are we?" I asked, cursing at myself in my head about how stupid I made that question sound.

"No." She said, shaking her head slightly. "Why would it?"

"Oh, I don't know."

Fuck, you're a sissy, I thought to myself as I felt my face start to flush.

"So, you're not like mad at me or anything?" I asked.

"Are you kidding?" She grinned.

I didn't know whether or not to take this as a good thing or a bad thing. I felt my heart in my throat as she took a step closer to me and brought her lips dangerously close to mine. I closed my eyes as she continued past my lips and leaned to whisper in my ear.

"That was the best fucking orgasm I've ever had." She said softly, her words seeming to tickle my eardrum.

I opened my eyes to see Lauren smirking up at me.

"You know, I really wouldn't mind doing that again." She grinned, turning around to head off down the hallway.

"Yeah, back at cha." I called after her as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Despite the fact that I was a loser, I stood there grinning triumphantly to myself because Lauren had just admitted that I had given her the best fucking orgasm ever. Damn, I'm good.

I turned around only to run right over the top of Johnny. I knew it was him because I caught a glimpse of his unkempt Mohawk before he fell to the ground.

"Oh, didn't see you standing there." I smirked, reaching over to help him up from the place where I knocked him flat on his ass.

"Shut up." He snapped. "What are you so damn happy about?"

"Nothing."

"Bull shit. What's going on between you and Lauren?" He snapped, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Why?" I shot back. "You suddenly have the hots for her?" I whispered harshly.

"No, but I know how much you fucking like her." He whispered, grabbing a hold of my arm to push me into an empty room.

I yanked my arm away from him as he shut the door, rubbing it slightly; hey, I'm not gonna lie, Johnny's pretty strong ... when he wants to be ... And right now he wanted to be.

"So what the fuck's up?" He asked, staring at me.

Although he was the one staring up at me I felt pretty intimidated for some reason.

"Nothing's going on between me and Lauren." I said quietly.

Johnny looked up at me with his eyes fill of accusation, seeing instantly through my lies.

"Dude, I know that I'm not exactly the best person to talk to when it comes to relationships but come on man, just ell her how you feel. I mean actually sit your pussy ass down with her and tell her everything." He said.

I sighed loudly, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Johnny ... What good is that gonna do? I know she don't want a boyfriend at all or anything. The only thing its gonna do is make me feel even more like a douche bag once I actually hear her say she don't want to be with me." I mumbled.

"But what if she don't say that?" He asked, his voice so full of sincerity that it almost made me believe that she might not even say that at all.

However, I recovered from this slight daze and dropped back to my not so optimistic self.

"And what if she throws it all back in my face and tells me to have a nice life without her in it?" I asked gloomily. "And what if she gets all weirded out and makes thing all awkward between us? Remember we still got two fucking months left of this damn tour."

"Well ... " Johnny shrugged. "It's just a suggestion."

-||FF Three Weeks||-
It's been three weeks since Lauren and I got drunk together and things have been, well, much like they were before that even happened. Johnny hasn't badgered me about telling Lauren about my feelings and honestly, I don't know if they're even there anymore.

Yeah right, who the fuck am I kidding?

I guess I lied when I said everything was the same as its always been because its not ... Me and Lauren have gotten a lot closer, er, basically meaning we've become, well ... sort of 'fuck buddies.'

Not like we fuck every damn day, just, three ... five ... er ... maybe seven times all together ... throw in a quick blow job here and there, and I ate her out once or twice.

Of course nobody else knows about this ... it's just something between us. Nobody was able to pick up on our new 'habit' because when we were with the gang we'd act like we normally would around them ... but when we were by ourselves ... it's a whole different story.

I don't know. I guess I just figured if I can't actually have her as my girlfriend it was the next best thing.

Other than that the tour was going great, everybody was having a blast, and as usual, the fans were amazing. That's what I loved about the Warped Tour, it was an opportunity for us to meet the fans, meet new bands, tour with the bands we idolized. Unfortunately, we were forced to tour with the bands we hated as well.

About four weeks into the tour (one week after Lauren and I first got together) we ran into the guys of Atreyu. Although we didn't even exchange any words at all, Alex was able to get to me just by wrapping his arm around Val's waist as they walked in front of me, her engagement ring sparkling back at me.

I know that it's dumb to still be mad/heartbroken about that situation but it's just the thought I guess. I mean, that could be me engaged to Val ... not Alex.
But, it's in the past and that's where I preferred to keep it.


The gang and I were sitting at our booth, waiting for any random fans to wander over to have us sign stuff. It as slow that day and you could tell we were bored to death.

"Brother, what are you gonna get me for my birthday?" Lauren asked, taking a seat in the empty chair between Zacky and I.

"What? Your birthday's not even coming up." Zacky answered, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Zacky!" She whined. "My birthday's tomorrow!"

"Dude, no it's not ... Is it?"

"Zacky, I think I know when my own birthday is."

I looked over and laughed at the guilty look scrawled all over Zacky's face.

"Your birthday's tomorrow Lauren?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, turning around to flash me a smile. "What are you gonna get me."

I bit my lip in an attempt to suppress my smile as a lot of wild and crazy thoughts started flashing through my mind. Lauren smile soon turned into a smirk and I'm sure that some similar thoughts were racing through her mind.

"Dude, Lauren, me and you have the same birthday." Syn spoke up [[alright, I know mentioned that Lauren's a Virgo before but I'm changing it and she's a Cancer so instead of having the Virgo astrological sign tatted behind her ear it's the Cancer astrological sign, aight?]].

"Oh yeah?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah ... And guess what bitches; we have a break tomorrow, hey, hey, hey."

They started making plans for some sort of huge party we'd be having and whatnot while my minds drifted back to what I'd like to do to Lauren.

Sudden I shook my head, thinking that it'd probably mean a lot more to her if I'd actually got her a present. The only thing was that I didn't know what the hell to get her.
End of Matt's POV

I glanced over at Matt, who was looking like he was thinking hard about something, and sighed to myself. These past few weeks have been sort of crazy between Matt and I. The sex, the blow jobs/hand jobs, the 'oral sex.'

The fact that I was willingly giving myself to Matt when I was sober wasn't what was weird ... But what was weird what that ...

I think I might have actual feelings for him.

When Zacky asked if I had feelings for Matt I had told him that I didn't. But, in all reality, I thinking I might have been lying ... to Zacky and me both. It was strange because I was suddenly starting to feel all these feelings and emotions that I didn't even know I had. Matt made me feel special like no one has ever made me feel before. He had a way of knowing what to do to brighten my day and a way of saying just the right things that make me feel like I was on top of the world. Cheesy as hell huh? But, I admit, I liked that feeling.

Was this what it was like to 'fall in love?' Well, if it was, then I definitely didn't mind it at all. But there was one thing bothering me ... Actually it was a person ... Who went by the name of Valary Di Benedetto.

A couple days ago she surprised me by stopped by the booth while the guys were on stage. It was nice to talk to her again and for a while it seemed as if it were like the good ol' days.

She told me the truth about what was going on between her and Alex; I guess they were engaged but there was something about her aurora that suggested to me she wasn't so sure about it. She also told me the truth about what happened between her and Matt and why she did the things she did.

The way she talked about him and her persist questions pertaining to his 'love life' and all that junk suggested she still had some feelings left for him. And honestly, this didn't exactly make me feel all warm and tingly inside.


"Lauren, wake up!!!"

I groaned loudly and rolled over, trying to bury myself deeper underneath the blankets.

"It's time for your spankings!" They yelled, jerking the blankets off of me.

I sat straight up, fearing for my life ... actually fearing for my ass because I knew how brutal birthday spankings could get. I looked over and barely saw Johnny's Mohawk over the side of the bunk.

"Go away Johnny." I mumbled, lying back down.

I knew that he wasn't nearly tall enough to reach up and drag me out of the bunk so I was able to relax. A few seconds later a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me to the edge.

"Put me down!" I screamed, kicking about to get me to release me.

"Right after we give you your twenty-one spankings." Zacky smirked, pulling me over the side of the bunk.

I screamed a bit as I started to fall towards the floor but Zacky rearranged his arms around me and took a better hold, packing me out into the front room.

"Get off of m-AHHHHH!" I screamed as a stinging sensation shot through my body.

"That's one." Zacky laughed, hugging me tightly to his body so that I was facing him with my arms pinned to my sides, my ass exposed for 'easy access.'

"Zacky, I-OWWWWCCCHHH!!!"

"Two."

I kicked, screamed, and kicked some more but I just couldn't get out of Zacky's grip. Finally, after the thirteenth one I got free from him and made a mad dash for the front door put Matt tackled me onto the couch, wrapping his arms around me and pulled me to lay on top of him, wrapping his legs around either one of mine so I couldn't get away if my life depended on it.

"Relax Lauren." Matt laughed. "They didn't even bust out the paddle yet."

I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw tight as my 'beatings' got, if possible, worse, wishing that they'd just hurry up and get it over with. But twenty I thought my fucking ass was gonna fall off.

"Alright, alright, last one." Amber laughed. "And I get the honors." She added.

I bit Matt's shoulder to keep myself from screaming bloody murder.

"You fuckers." I mumbled as Matt released his grip on me. "You guys better watch the fuck out on your birthdays ... That's all I have to say."

It took me a good half hour to recover from my 'attack,' during which the gang attacked Syn for his spankings. At least I got a good laugh from that.

"Alright, alright, you guys settle down." Zacky said, waving around the paddle as if that'd get some 'order' on the bus. "We got a party to get set up for. Syn, Lissa, and Johnny, you guys get the food. JB, Alyssa, Jimmy, and Papa Gates, you guys are in charge of entertainment. PG-13 please, Lauren's still my baby sister you know. Me, Amber, and Matt are heading to the mall for other shit. And Lauren, since you're a big twenty-one now I'll bestow upon you the honors of getting the alcohol. So, let's move out people. Be back here by 4 o'clock, pronto bitches."

I rolled my eyes at my brother's retardedness as we all split up to do our assigned duties. I didn't know where the hell the nearest market was and I had no way to get there so I called a cab. Two homeless bums, $253 worth of alcohol, and forty-five minutes later the cab dropped me back off by our bus. I went inside to find that everybody else was still out doing their shit.

Seeing that we need ice I set the bags down and started my journey down the street to where I saw a little ice cream shop. Hey, they were bound to have ice, right?

Not 100 feet from the bus I heard a voice that sent chills down my spine.

"Word on the street is that it's your birthday today Lauren."
Although I didn't want to I stopped dead in my tracks, knowing exactly where I heard that voice before. I turned around and spotted the dude that was talking to me outside of the Porto potties that day, yeah, the dude who gave me a bad vibe.

"Er, no, it's Syn's birthday today." I said, turning back around only to run head first into some other dude.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's your birthday today babe." The first dude said grabbing a hold of me from behind.

I tried to scream but he placed a hand over my mouth.

"And we're here to give you your birthday present."