Turning A Page

Silence once again surrounded us, me zoning out inside my head, Zacky sitting awkwardly and hesitant. My eyes drifted shut, waiting for something to happen. He was the one to bring it up; he should be the one to verbally start it. That was my take on the idea anyway. It was a general side effect of my shyness, I preferred to observe a situation or wait in the background for something to happen rather than speaking up.

I could hear him taking in deep breaths, as if he was about to start talking, but then he would let them out slowly only to repeat himself a minute or so later. I don't know how long we wasted there, it didn't feel like much time had passed, but at the same time it felt an eternity. I was about to give in to my oncoming tiredness and move to the bedroom when the hum of the TV being turned on caught my attention, causing my eyes to snap open curiously. Colour slowly appeared through the blackness, some random infomercial spouting on and on about yet another useless exercise machine. The channel was quickly changed, a small snort escaping the figure beside me.

Sitting myself up properly I leaned into his body, the heat I felt from him causing me to inch in closer after realising I was covered in goosebumps and quite chilly. I welcomed the friction as a hand ran itself up and down over my arm, his other closing around my shoulders and pulling me even closer while his lips moved down to place over my forehead. An automatic smile showed itself, appreciative of the comfort of such a simple gesture. I have no idea why I felt so at ease with Zacky, the only other time I'd instantly felt that calmness was the first time I met Johnny.

The screen continued to flicker, nothing of interest appearing before it became black again and the silence returned. This time it didn't last long, however. It was broken with a giggle as Zacky stood, turned, and promptly pulled me over his shoulder to retreat to the warmth and solitude of his bedroom.

"Zacky!" I exclaimed as I was lifted, causing the man in question to stop his movements for a split second.

"Wha... you... did you just call me Zacky?" he finally spluttered out. The confusion in his voice was cute, and if I could've seen his face I know I would've wanted to kiss him senseless. I know I'll take almost any excuse to do that, but still... can you really blame me? Didn't think so!

"It's your name, isn't it?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from every word. I was very tempted to reach down and smack his butt; it was almost hypnotic in it's movements as he walked.

"Well yea, but you haven't called me that since you came up with Stevie. It sounds so weird coming from you. I never thought I'd say this, but I like you calling me Stevie more. It just... I dunno, it just sounds right somehow." We reached the bedroom halfway through his spiel and I was still waiting for him to put me down.

"That's good, cos I like Stevie better too," I laughed. He seemed to finally come out of his daze, plonking me down gently onto the bed. I watched as he searched through a drawer, then another, before throwing a t-shirt at my head. I took that as my cue to get changed for bed, not worrying too much about stripping in front of him now. It wasn't like he hadn't seen me half naked before, and I only swapped shirts before standing and dropping my pants. Zacky was preoccupied with changing out of his own clothes to stare too much, though he did have an appreciative smile that never wavered.

Climbing in next to me, he turned his body to face mine, signalling that 'the conversation' was imminent.

"Well, yea... I, um, well," his head hung as he tried to collect his thoughts and words. I just held his hand, stroking my thumb lazily over his fingers and waited for him to compose himself.

It wasn't hard to tell that behind all of the flirting and forwardness Zacky wasn't really the kind of guy for the meaningful, serious conversation that seemed to be coming.

"Ok," he breathed out, eyes flicking up to hold my own gaze while I gave him an encouraging smile. "So, I kinda figured I needed to tell you this before anyone else did. I'm hoping it won't change anything, but well... I guess I just need to say it and then..." I let him ramble, knowing that if I were in his position I wouldn't want to be interrupted. "Before I met you I wasn't exactly the greatest guy. I slept around, a lot. One night stands, groupies, anything really. I didn't care about anyone, just myself and my need for sex. I didn't care who, or where, or even if I had a girlfriend. I was a complete jerk. I could blame it on alcohol, drugs... I just... I realised it wasn't doing anything for me. Yea, it was sex, but thats all it was. Emptiness, hurt, a few close calls, but mostly it was just trouble. Since I met you though, it's all changed. I don't know how, or why, but you've changed me. I want to be the good guy, the guy that's always there, a guy that can be trusted. As soon as I saw you in the airport I knew you were Sarah. You haven't escaped my brain since then. When you told us about why you'd come over... my heart broke for you, even though I've done the same thing to so many girls. I couldn't believe anyone would do something so heartless, something that would cause you to cry. I never want to see you cry. I never want to see you hurt. I... I wanna make you smile, and laugh. I just... Yea. I just spilled my heart and I completely understand if you wanna just forget about me, but you drive me crazy and I needed you to know."